How to Write an Offer
Your Prospect Can’t Refuse
Man, I just got a SCREAMIN’ bargain!
My oldest daughter is getting married and I needed to find a dress for the wedding. One thing I knew for certain: I’m not wearing a traditional mother-of-the bride sequined jacket/gown combo!
It’s scary enough that my daughter is turning me into a mother-in-law. I’m definitely not going to LOOK like one! In other words, I needed a dress that says …
KABOOM!
And my cousin Sandy found it for me online!
It was at Nordstrom’s and the gown cost $508!
Yikes! I wanted KABOOM not Ka-ching!
But I went to the mall to try on the dress anyway. Well, they didn’t have it at my local Nordstrom’s – but I did find an identical dress at Macy’s – and it cost $200! Now, we’re getting closer to my comfort price zone. But wait …
… While trying on the dress, I noticed a few dirt spots at the hemline. It was the only dress in my size. Surely I shouldn’t have to pay the regular price! So I asked for a discount to cover the cleaning cost and the sales lady agreed to take 10% off. Hmmm … that’s good, but I think I can do better …
Macy’s was having a 20% off sale that weekend. Although I didn’t have the coupon, I talked the sales lady into “finding” one for me. Ok, now, we’re cookin’ … I’m up to a 30% savings – and feeling pretty good about myself. But then I got another surprise …
… When I stepped up to the register, I saw the sign for a Macy’s credit card. I get 15% off just by taking a few seconds to open an account. Then, I’d get ANOTHER 15% off everything I charge in the next 48 hours. Sign me up!
By the time I walked out the store, I got a $508 dress for $77 – that’s 85% off the original dress price! Woo-hoo! My adrenaline was PUMPING!
When I got home, I turned on the TV and lo and behold …
… There’s the slimmed-down Valerie Bertinelli in her new Jenny Craig ad – wearing MY gown (in a different color)!
Wow – I got a dress that a movie star wears –and I bet Valerie’s cost WAY MORE than $77! Yee ha!
I just love a GREAT bargain! Well guess what?
So does your prospect!
And that’s the lesson to learn (or relearn) today:
Create for your prospect an offer they can’t refuse!
Let’s use my shopping experience as an example of what to do:
#1: Lay on the savings and create
a fantabulous opportunity!
Come on, anybody in their right mind would agree getting a $508 dress for $77 is a GREAT deal! So how can you make your offer a fantastic opportunity for your prospect? Simple.
Let him know the original price of the product. In newsletter sales, this is often more than TWICE the “introductory” price. But if it’s a legitimate price, let your prospect know that some unfortunate soul paid that amount – but he won’t!
Then show him any discounts he can get during this offer. And finally, let him in on the LOWEST PRICE AVAILABLE during this “limited time opportunity!”
Reveal this savings in stages and build up to the HUGE total discount. Remember, my dress started at $508 … then $200 … then 10% off … and then 20% off … and finally 30% if I ACT RIGHT NOW!
#2: bribe … Bribe … BRIBE!
Ever see a newsletter promotion offer 7 … 12 … even 24 FREE gifts just for trying out a $39 newsletter?
Want to know why they do it?
BECAUSE IT WORKS!
If you add up the costs of all these gifts, it could be 5 … 10 … or even 20 times the value of the product! WOW that’s a bargain! Remember, in direct mail – bribing is not only ethical – it’s downright essential!
This tactic is discussed more thoroughly in the book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Robert Cialdini, Ph.D, explains the power of reciprocity. In other words …
… We’re trained from childhood when someone gives you a gift, you say thank you and show your appreciation. Often times, you feel a need to do something special for that person. As a copywriter, you want the prospect to feel grateful enough to buy your product!
#3: Get the prospect off his keester
with a powerful “ACT NOW” offer!
Give your prospect the BEST price … load him up with a bunch of FREE gifts … and give him a DEADLINE to act! Do you think my dress would be waiting for me if I decided to think about the purchase and come back in a week?
Heck no!
And even if it was – I would’ve missed out on the 20% off sale!
So you’ve got to trigger your prospect’s impulse to buy now! Here’s an easy way to do it …
Offer a fast response FREE gift when he orders within the next 7 days. Or create any other kind of urgency deadline, such as “For the first 100 customers who call in their order”. Bottom line: If he doesn’t ACT NOW, you’ll probably lose the sale.
#4: Stroke the ego!
Let the prospect know he’s making the best decision he could make today! Tell him how smart he is!
Create an “elite” group and put him in it! He’s one of the folks who’ve made this wise decision and he’s feeling better … getting richer … or is downright smarter than the average guy.
Remember my dress? Not only did I get a terrific deal – but I’m in a movie star category. Me and Valerie Bertinelli have great taste!
A word of caution …
This is a common mistake I see with many copy cubs and I don’t want you to make it, so listen up …
DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU’VE WRITTEN YOUR COPY BEFORE CREATING YOUR OFFER!
A smart writer will start weaving the idea of good things to come early in your sales letter.
Tease your reader by telling him, “in a moment, I’ll show you how to get this amazing special report, absolutely free! But first … ” Or …
“You’ll get 7 amazing gifts – valued at $xxx.xx – absolutely free. I’ll tell you how to claim yours in a minute, but first … ”
That simple line of copy is already setting up your offer!
And as you reveal your offer – make your prospect salivate for the gifts. That brings me to another common mistake …
DON’T FORGET TO SELL THE FREE GIFTS!
Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean it’s valuable to your prospect. You have to create value for the gifts! For example …
If you’re going to give him 3 free reports, build up a desire for the first report. Make it a MUST HAVE for him. Use bullets to tell him what he’s getting in this special report. Pull out an interesting item in the report and turn it into a story. Then, tell him the regular price is $19.95 but you’re going to show him how to get it absolutely FREE!
After you’ve sold him on the first report, pile it on!
Reveal that you’ve got a 2nd special gift to send him. Again, create a desire for that report just like you did for the first and then wow him with the FREE opportunity!
And finally, you may want to save the 3rd report for the P.S. section of your letter.
Use it as the ACT NOW Fast Response Bonus. “I’ve got another FREE gift I want to send you when you respond within the next 7 days." Then, write powerful sales copy as if he has to buy that report too!
Creating an unbeatable offer isn’t rocket science. Just tap into the basic desires of your prospect. Show him how he’s going to save money … boost his ego … and reward him with gifts and lots of praise!
Here’s to Creating Success Your Way!
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Carline Anglade-Cole
Guest Contributor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE
Carline Anglade-Cole writes multi-year controls in the alternative health field for clients including Healthy Directions, Health Resources, True Health, Soundview Publications and Sun Chlorella USA. She also provides phone consultations and “mini-boot camps”. Put her 20 years of direct mail experience in mailing list strategies, new product development and creating kick-butt controls to work for your company!
Contact Carline directly by visiting her website at www.CarlineCole.com
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8 Comments »
Join the Discussion!
Let us know what you think. Or ask us anything. Or offer your own sage advice.
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– Clayton



Comment by Greg — September 27, 2007 @ 7:32 am
Interesting article. However, I\’m not getting this. If you have a quality product that stands on its own, why is the bonus stuff necessary. When I get those promotions offering 20 bonus items if I purchase a just released book, I wonder why they are so desperate!? Personally, I think all the add on bonuses diminish perceived value of the main product. Offer me a great product at a reasonable price. Show me what is in it for me and what I will get from purchasing the product. After I have made the purchase, surprise me with a special bonus. I guarantee you that if that happens, I will be telling others for months to come. Just my 2 cents.
Comment by Katie — September 27, 2007 @ 8:29 am
Greg,
Just a quick thought.
I understand where you\’re coming from, but don\’t make the mistake of allowing your own personal biases to influence your sales copy and offer. YOU may think offering 20 bonuses sounds \”desperate\”–but do your prospects agree?
The REAL question is what kind of revenue are you generating from your promotion? Test your stand-alone offer against an offer with 20 bonuses, and see which is more profitable. Then there will be no need for your \”2 cents\” or my \”2 cents\” because it\’s the numbers that count…and the numbers will speak for themselves.
Comment by Bill — September 27, 2007 @ 10:14 am
I thoroughly enjoy your writing. Just wish I could do half as well. The \\\\\\\’tone\\\\\\\’ makes me pay close attention to what you are saying and it makes me think about how to incorporate what you are saying into my writing, even though my writing is more stories about businesses than \\\\\\\”selling a product\\\\\\\”. Keep up the good work, I learn something from each column. :zzz
Comment by Ian — September 27, 2007 @ 10:23 am
Greg, I understand what you are saying. There are a lot of bonus offers made online and those additional bonus retail or perceived value are trash.
But giving bonuses in the offline world truly work well but make sure that they have a real retail value attached to it, not pdf\’s that are suppose to be worth
$39 or $49.
Comment by Norm — September 27, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
Hi,
I agree with Katie.
If you do it once, them maybe your client will want it every time.
personally I\’m very sceptical of these offers.
If you buy a house -who chucks in another couple of thousand dollars of freebies?
To me, these free offers are devaluing the \”face value\” of your original product. Maybe as Katie says, that by just sending a gift later on will create morevalue in the client\’s eyes.
But I\’ve never sold anything over the internet - yet!
Comment by Ian Dunlap — September 27, 2007 @ 4:18 pm
To refute the last comment that was made…I have a client in Beverly Hills that is a mortgage company that actually provides $2,150 in celebratory gifts upon closing for every client
including a bottle of Cristal, a 42 inch plasma tv, and $500 gift certificate to Cartier.
Now of course there is a difference in giving these types of bonuses than giving a pdf thats suppose to be worth $49.
You can\’t pile on a bunch of trash bonuses and expect people to buy.
You have to buy gifts that people want but they don\’t want top buy themselves.
For example for our clients who decided to join us last month, we both their decision makers an i-phone and it was unannounced.
The thing is give gifts that really matter and have real value.
Comment by Bill — September 28, 2007 @ 9:01 am
I think the comments are missing the point. Look at how she has written the story. Study it. Copy it!
Now look at the content. All of it. Let\’s not get hung up on one thing and our personal opinion. Learn from the master. Steal, er, borrow from the best, like we were taught!
Comment by Kammy Thurman — October 1, 2007 @ 6:38 pm
Don\\\’t get hung up on the bonuses thing. Offering a lot of bonus reports is common in publishing because it works. But it may not necessarily work like this for every industry.
I\\\’m co-owner of a professional portrait studio, and even though image and high-perceived value is huge in this industry, we offer reports as bait pieces with great success. They\’re simply dubbed Wedding Photography Guides, Family Portrait Guides, etc. What we\’re finding even in a visually-based industry like portraiture is that people are still hungry for information. They need to know what sets one studio apart from another – and most studios aren\’t offering this info. They slap some pics on a website and expect them to sell the studio all by themselves.
And look at the bonuses car dealers offer to get people onto the lot – thousands of dollars in savings, gifts, etc. – even for high-end vehicles.
Don\’t throw the baby out with the bath water here. Carline isn\’t saying to copy the things publishers do verbatim. Look at the concept and think about how it can be tweaked for your industry, or your particular clients.
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