Posted by: Clayton Makepeace
May 18, 2009
Issue #670

“I’ve been dying
to ask you this, Clayton …”

Dear Business-Builder,

I won’t B.S. you:  It’s Monday morning and I spent the whole weekend NOT writing an issue for today.

I guess I could use this space to extol the virtues of doing nothing – point out how, when you make a point of NOT thinking about marketing or copywriting for a couple of days, you give your brain time to do the work for you.

But I’ve written about that in these pages before – and besides; I have a better idea …

Instead of having an article this week, let’s have a conversation.

I’m betting that you’re in the middle of something right now.  Maybe designing a product … or creating a marketing plan … or crafting an offer … or writing a headline or slaving away over a section of hot body copy.

Just tell me how I can help.

Use the comments below to ask me anything you like.  I’ll check in early every morning this week and do whatever I can.

What’s that you say?  You don’t have any questions – but you’ve got a ton of answers for our readers?

Cool — why not use the comments below to dazzle us with your brilliance?

Should be fun and hopefully very helpful for all of us.

Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,

Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE

Looking for resources related to this article? Try some of these.

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110 Comments »

1. Comment by Conor — May 11, 2009 @ 12:03 pm

   Hi Clayton,

   We don’t include our prices on our Sales page, but ask prospects to fill out a simple form (4 fields) and request listing fees.

   This form is at the end of our Sales copy and converts quite well. We capture enough information through it to tailor our response to the prospects market.

   Do you think this is the wrong approach? Do you think prices should be displayed to filter out the tyre-kickers?

   Any feedback would be great.

   Thanks for all the great content.

   Conor

2. Comment by Caleb Osborne — May 11, 2009 @ 12:10 pm

   Hey Big Guy!

   What ways are you using now to infuse the main selling benefits of your promos with rock-solid proof?

   The type of proof that Bencivenga says is responsible for his blockbuster results?

   What are you finding works REALLY well in today’s skeptical markets — especially health related ones?

   Thanks!
   Caleb

3. Comment by Nathan — May 11, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

   Hi Handsome,

   For a while I received your emails in different formats. Some a little fancy, some looked like an old fashioned typewriter, some with a header and some without.

   I also noticed that you went back and forth, testing putting the first part of the article in the email with a link at the end to read more, and writing a quick promo of the article itself.

   You seem to have settled on writing the promo (for my part, I know that whenever you use the first part of the article I click through instantly, with the promo I’ll often wait ’til ‘later’).

   I’m hoping you could share some of the results of your tests and any other click through increasing advice you might have.

   Thanks Clayton.

4. Comment by Thomas — May 11, 2009 @ 12:37 pm

   Mr. Makepeace,

   I am 99% finished writing my first ebook. As I have found out, I did it the hard way with much effort and frustration. It took me 11 months 21 days and counting.

   Here is my question. What is the correct and proper way, being courteous and all, to ask, beg, plead, and beg some more, to get successful gurus like yourself, Frank Kern, Eben Pagan, Yanik Silver, Mike Filsaime, and others to promote my ebook?

5. Comment by Web Guru Live — May 11, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

   Hi Clayton,

   Since I know that you are chomping at the bit to spend two weeks making over the marketing at my financial software company.

   And, since I know that you would love to turn that project into your next blockbuster marketing expose’.

   And since I would love to set you up at the Ritz Carlton while your here…

   My question is… How soon can you get here?

6. Comment by Nick — May 11, 2009 @ 1:05 pm

   Hi Clayton,

   I have a rather simple question:

   If you launch a product… but you don’t have testimonials that the product actually works… how do you solve this?

   Thing is:

   We got a huge launch coming up in our market. The product is top-notch. And our list is highly responsive to whatever we put out there. But we also want other peoples list to respond to this offer.

   To clarify:

   This will be a high ticket item. We haven’t decided on an exact price yet. But it will exceed $697.

   Now… we first thought to do an initial launch to our own list and sell like 20 or 30 units, max. But I am not sure if the 20 to 30 units sold will be enough to provoke a worthwhile reaction. Or you think it should do the trick?

   So, is there a way you inject “proof” into salescopy. But without having testimonials on the page? And if yes… how do you do this? Especially for a high ticket item.

   Thanks!

   Nick

7. Comment by John Payne — May 11, 2009 @ 1:08 pm

   Hi Clayton,

   You’re right I am in the middle of a direct mail offer,
   I have a wedding entertainment company in NY and I’m
   working on a promotion that will hopefully fill in the rest of my 2009 calendar with weddings.

   Being new to the art of copywriting, I find I get confused at the sequence of the offer/claim/etc,I really need a template or better understanding of the form to know what goes 1st… Our Main company Benefit or the FREE $25.00 Gift
   say for an oversized postcard
   Here’s my offer:
   Target-wedding couples who have not booked entertainment yet for their 2009 wedding (which, is very late)
   1) objective is to motivate the reader to call for an appointment to view this very exciting demo.
   when they come in they receive a gift with a $25 value and
   other bouses in their enetrtainment package.

   Is my headline a big and bold $25.00 Visa gift card or Fear based that screams They’re Late, or ??
   what will give me the response I need? Or better yet, what will get it read? (I’m learning). Thanks for the opportunity.
   JP

8. Comment by Rick — May 11, 2009 @ 1:13 pm

   Clayton,

   After voraciously studying copywriting and direct-response marketing for the past year, I plan to launch my own company later this year providing a combination of teaching, copywriting, marketing consulting and “done-for-you” turnkey marketing systems.

   I’ll be doing this while I continue to work full-time in a sales position. At some point, I will make the transition from employee to entrepreneur complete.

   My question is this: should I start in my local market and eventually branch out geographically, or should I pick a narrower niche (if that’s not redundant) and attack a larger geo market from the start?

   Thanks,

   Rick

9. Comment by Kathy — May 11, 2009 @ 1:19 pm

   Hi, I’m lost. I feel overwhelmed & don’t have an idea as to how to make my brain function with even an original thought,
   let alone, write copy that is attention grabbing & makes sense. I have the ‘Six Figure Copywriting Course’ from AWAI, & I get their eletters & yours, but I don’t feel confident to
   apply for copywriting jobs. How do you get testimonials for a product? I want to come across as polished, but I’m afaid I’ll fall flat & be perceived as an idiot, that doesn’t have a clue as to writing copy that grabs the reader & has them reading all the way through. I can write like this, with no problem at all, but when I try to write something that sells, my mind stops. How do I get past this????
   Thanks for your comments. Kathy

10. Comment by Conrad — May 11, 2009 @ 1:20 pm

    Hello Clayton,
    My challenge is coming up with some good hooks and ideas to get my market to sit up and take notice and respond to our offers now.

    We market private tutoring and lessons to high school students. The buyer is the concerned parent.

    Right now they know how poorly the kids have done and they sometimes realise they should take corrective action now - however - mostly they have summer holidays on their minds.

    This makes most of them “leave it till later* … meaning October or December and then it allmost too late to really help and the customers expect us to perform overnight miracles.

    Getting signups in Fall is easy, but this is really last minute and emergency stuff after more bad exam results.

    Would you have some ideas on how I can motivate my market to take action now ( a bit of anti-cyclical behaviour), before the summer holidays start, so they have more time to prepare themselves - for a topic which just does not appear as atttractive as holidays ?

11. Comment by Kevin Puls — May 11, 2009 @ 1:34 pm

    Hello, Mr. Makepeace…

    As a customer (Ultimate Desktop Copywriting Coach, and many other products), I have but one, compelling question…

    As you know, our website was created as a way for me to give thanks and appreciation back to our (volunteer) military.

    It is a blog-driven,charity-based site thanking the men & women of our Armed Forces for their service to our great (and free)country.

    So, how do I write a more compelling letter to complete strangers asking for them to submit stories of gratitude about the military to our site? I am having difficulty getting submissions for various reasons.

    Thank you for your time!

    Best,

    -K

12. Comment by John Gamble — May 11, 2009 @ 1:55 pm

    Wow,

    A mass-meeting with the King. I just hope my head isn’t one of the ones that rolls…

    Thanks again, Clayton for everything you do to give back.

    Let me know when you and Wendy want to get away for a real vacation (and I’m not talking about riding your hog to Biloxi!)

    I’d be honored to show you around the world’s most exciting city, Rio de Janeiro. And to give you the VIP treatment you so richly deserve.

    Cheers from one of the faithful,

    John

13. Comment by I,A, — May 11, 2009 @ 1:56 pm

    Sir,

    I’ve got a problem I know you already have the answer to.

    This problem is something you’ve already solved with your
    copywriting.

    Here’s What It Is:

    Problem: How do I get high quality top level paying
    clients?

    Currently, I’ve only recently gotten past $1,000 per
    salesletter, when I began I charged an embarassing $200 per
    letter.

    I’ve grown five times and I want to grow five times more,
    and then five times more after that, how do I do this?

    Peaceful In Singapore,

14. Comment by Chris and Lallah — May 11, 2009 @ 1:59 pm

    Hi Clayton,

    We are starting a membership site aimed at baby boomers who are overweight (or at least think they are.) We plan to develop this into a community of contributors which then will evolve into a magazine and other products.

    At this point we are creating surveys for what people would like to have from such a club or magazine and what they would like to contribute to the community.

    This is being done on a serious shoe string as we both have had loss of income from our “day jobs.” While there are lots of “communities” out there, we believe that it is possible to create a series of internet products that will, when marketed correctly, provide us with a good income while also providing value to our customers/subscribers.

    What advice do you have for starting out on such a venture?

15. Comment by Richard Armstrong — May 11, 2009 @ 2:21 pm

    My question is: Are you starting to wish you just bit the bullet and wrote a regular column today instead of offering to answer all these reader questions?

16. Comment by Clarke Echols (Resident scientist and rabble-rouser) — May 11, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

    I have some comments for some of the questions. Here are my
    reactions.

    Putting your price list on your site can reveal what you don’t know about your business. I was looking at a copywriter’s site recently to see what others were doing in pricing, and one dude was getting $300 for 300 words of technical writing, but only $100 for 300 words of web copy.

    Of course we’ve all heard Clayton talk about skull sweat in writing copy that sings, and I spent 20 years as a technical writer and now I build website content. I can tell you that writing web content is a lot more difficult than most of the technical writing I did. If tech writing is worth a buck per word, web writing is worth at least that much, if not more. Especially if it has to be really tight and ultra-effective.

    When I looked at one of the sites he wrote content for, it took close to 30 seconds to load the home page on 1.5mb/sec
    DSL. Pity the poor guy still on 56K dial-up. And the site
    was horrid. I had to go to a second level to figure out the company was an ad agency. Sheesh — these Madison Ave guys seem perpetually clueless about direct response.

    I wouldn’t hire him. He lacks *proper* training and it shows in his pricing alone.

    ===

    Proofs for health products? If you really understand your prospect, that should be more apparent. Sounds like insufficient knowledge about the person you’re selling to.

    And taking a year to crank out an ebook then looking for someone to JV market it is upside-down. A 60-page ebook should never take more than a couple of weeks or at most a month, part-time. 200 pages not over a month or 60 days.

    But putting that much effort in before you have an audience to buy could be fatal to your enterprise. Take a hard look at Masterson’s book “Ready, Fire, Aim” for a lot of wisdom there.

    Product launch for an expensive software package without testimonials? How about a beta test? That’s standard in the software business. Find some people who need the product, and give them a shot at trying it for 90 days on condition of an honest appraisal. Putting out software you think is great could be disastrous. They test copy before mass-mailing large-quantity packages. Surely you had some test subjects evaluate yours before shipping, I hope…
    If they like it, they’ll tell you and that’s your testimonial. If they don’t, they’ll tell you and you avoid a lot of embarrassment if it’s a bomb or has usability issues.

    Starting a new business while working? Learn to stand before you walk. Learn to walk before you run. Get some gigs to get experience (It’ll amaze you how much you learn that you thought you already knew). Work locally and get a profit base, then spread in an orderly way. I’ve had several small businesses over 40 years. Some did OK, some not so good (we were raising a large family, so I stayed on the job while moonlighting. Nothing unrespectable in that).
    Just do what you need to to make it work (Ready, Fire, Aim
    again). When you have enough business income banked to replace 6 months of salary, then you can make the transition to full-time.

    Starting with the AWAI course? Do your assignments. Create a portfolio. Then, shaking knees and all, get out there and talk to some folks about helping them. Even if you do some stuff for free. Get referrals. Your testimonials will start coming from that. It’s work. It doesn’t fall into your lap. They don’t pay $100K to anyone for doing nothing (unless you’re a slime-ball politican, of course, then the rules change because there are enough suckers out there to support them and their lies).

    Tutoring for students? Why not the headline “Get a head start on the next school year instead of starting behind the rest of the pack”? Put urgency in it. Standard stuff.
    Just use it. Imagination helps.

    That’s my take on a few. Now I’ll stand back and let the Great Master of the Written Word give you his…

    Clarke

17. Comment by Mike Bresee — May 11, 2009 @ 2:27 pm

    Hello Clayton,

    How do you deal with the myriad of distractions we all suffer through in the course of a day?

    Perhaps as you have staff, you can delegate certain aspects of your job to them (like answering the phone), but for the sole-proprietor one employee operation it is a battle to get things done.

    Your advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks for asking………Mike Bresee

18. Comment by Conrad — May 11, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

    Hello Clarke,

    Thanks for your tutoring headline suggestion.

    Your headline addresses the left brain needs … and it is competing with the wants and right brain fun images of holidays … but I will let the market decide and run some small split tests.

    Hey making maths tutoring beat sun, fun and holidays is going to require a ton of imagination! And bribes … lol

19. Comment by Chris Goegan — May 11, 2009 @ 4:19 pm

    Clayton,

    Is there a difference in deliverability of HTML vs. Plain Text emails?

    I know Spam filters kicked a lot of HTML’s out before, is that still the case?

    Be great eh!
    Chris.

    P.S. Thank you for opening up this discussion.

20. Comment by John — May 11, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

    Hi Clayton,

    I would love to get your take on email copy structure/length for product launches.

    In the the Money and Market emails you let folks have it with long copy.

    And those launches break the bank all the time.

    And yet Frank Kern, and Jeff Walker etcdo shorter launch email copy and they do well as well.

    I find myself reading every word of your M and M email copy because it so engaging and relevant.

    But say if I am selling a health supplement do you reckon I should just get people through to the order page, or sell them direct in the email.

    Maybe I should just write my heart out and only edit for relevancy?

    Thanks for your big heart,

    John.

    P.S When I was a young university left winger I never would have thought I would have been saying thanks for your big heart to a free market fanatic (meant affectionately) such as yourself!

    P.P.S Actually any articles/products you make about product launches I would be interested in. You make more money than a lot of the big names out there in the PLF field so love to hear more from you about it…(I know you are very damn busy actually doing them all the time though so you may not have time!)

21. Comment by Clarke Echols (Resident scientist and rabble-rouser) — May 11, 2009 @ 5:10 pm

    John,

    To soothe your concern about long-copy health promos, go to
    http://www.WorldNetDaily.com and search for “23″ on their home page.

    You’ll find a headline/ad link to a 23-cent pill that solves heart problems. When I printed it out, it consumed all of about 23 pages on my laser printer, and it must be a barn-burner control.

    Clayton wrote it, and it’s been running on WND for at least two years if my memory is even close to correct.

    Of course the ad/link on WND is changed regularly so it doesn’t get stale, and I’m sure the ad copy gets similar treatment as well, though I don’t look at it more than very occasionally. But it’s a masterful study for anyone wanting to know how to do proofs, testimonials, and all the other stuff that gives it credibility out the wazoo.

    Clarke

22. Comment by Nick — May 11, 2009 @ 5:17 pm

    Hi Clarke,

    First of all I want to thank you for answering the question. However, I do think you missed the point a bit. But this is ok… I appreciate the time you put into answering it.

    First of all, it is no software product. I don’t believe I even mention that fact. The way to launch software is pretty easy:

    - Make sure you get a good programmer on board that will repair any bugs you get. Or more programmers, depending on the type of software you are creating (modules, etc?)
    - Make sure he delivers a good initial product.
    - Start selling the product. Promise bug fixes and updates. (you can get creative with the update part, btw. Just think about it)
    - Move on to the next…

    The product I was talking about is simply a high ticket information/video product. The lower end product, on which this one is based, has a HUGE list of testimonials. And is sold over 10,000 times.

    I know this market more then any other. And they’ll buy it. Before the creation of this product we did extensive research. And we surveyed the list like no tomorrow. And we got A LOT of valuable input from that research and those surveys. The only problem is the external proof factor. So how can we proof, initially, that the product works without having testimonials?

    Also, I have to disagree with you on the product creation part. Some people just have more trouble creating a product. This has a variaty of reasons. Mostly because a person is or not motivated enough… or too much of a perfectionist and wants to research every single detail to the fullest.

    You cannot really judge about that just by reading his post. He may have done a great deal of research for his product. Lots of scientific research to back-up whatever he says. Or even finding the research… and then digg deeper.

    This is what happened to my business partner. He is still writing on a weightloss product. But the amount of detail and research that went into it is truly insane. And everything he writes about creates more questions he has to answer for himself.

    These people have to realize that sometimes enough is enough. You cannot have it as perfect as you wish. And what is good about these questions:

    It gives food for future products and thus more to sell.

    Which is more how I do business. I make sure it’s enough… and that the unanswered questions can form a brand-new product. Or multiple products. Thsi is not for everyone, though.

    On writing copy I just have 1 good advice:

    Just do it…

    My grammar sucks, for instance. Yet I am able to write good copy. No Clayton Makepeace, masterpieces. But I am becoming better everytime I write.

    So to the person who is stuck with writing (Katy I believe it was)… just do something.

    I would, for instance, start out by writing/copying some great copy… with the hand. This really helps. Simple and plain advice that works. Along with what Clarke said, you should really be able to start writing some solid copy, soon. Because it’s really clear that you have everything you need to become a good copywriter, already.

    Now… just a little one on the headline:

    Why not just get into whatever they can save when they get your tutoring? I know it always helps in my businesses. Very benefit driven.

    So in this case:

    Are they saving time? Go for something like: Save Thousands Of Hours Studying And Be Better Then The Rest…

    I know… not entirely great. But it hopefully gives you some more brainstorm material.

    Anyway… my 2 cents. Again, tnx for your input Clarke. I appreciate the time you did put into your post. Now it’s up to Clayton for some words of wisdom from the master himself

    Nick

23. Comment by Jennie Heckel — May 11, 2009 @ 5:21 pm

    Dear Copywriters:

    Guess I have to put my 2 cents worth in. Maybe should say 10 cents…with the way inflation is going up these days!

    A year ago I was laid off from an IT job and I didn’t know how to write salescopy at all.

    I had not really written anything of value…as far as saleable writing is concerned…my last real writing had not been since 9th grade, Creative Writing class…and now I’m 51. So no, I am not a spring chick anymore and remember starting out with no writing experience to speak of. So if I can make good money online as a copywriter, I’ll bet you sure can too!

    Now I write long sales letters on elance and make NET over $3,000 a month working partime. (No I am NOT an English major - I majored in Animal Science! Yah, there was a web progreamming degree and a graphic design degree in there somewhere too…but no formal writing courses.)

    So what’s the inside story…how did I do it?

    It’s easier than you think.

    1. Buy Clayton’s Desktop Copy Coach. Study it, and you can bet your bottom dollar, you will know more than 80% of the copywriters that are writing copy these days. Rest easy in the knowledge that you will be able to write simple sales letters in no time flat. And for money!

    (Yes, I already have the 6 Figure Copywriting AND the Graphic Design Workshop Binders from Michael Masterson, AND Nick Osburne’s MIllion Dollar Secrets to Online Copywriting. They are good, but not the kick a__ quality of the high impact sales leter and greed style copywriting that the Desktop Copy Coach is.)

    Once you get your copy of the Desktop Copy Coach and you get through the first chapter you will definitely believe me. I know it is expensive, but if you are serious in making money in copywriting, it is the ONLY way to go.

    2. Next, find sales letters online in a niche you like and feel comfortable with and copy them word for word. Yes, this does work. I learned this from the 6 figure course.

    Copying in long hand makes your brain think in this sales letter style format, it imprints the style and words in your mind. Handwriting is better than using a keyboard, but if you can’t write well (I can’t very well anymore and you type fast like I do,) then type it.

    3. Now, how to find those killer converting sales letters… The Internet Marketing Niche and Search Engine Optimization are very difficult to get into so I recommend you pick a less competitive niche. Body Building, Golfing, Floral Designing, Interior Decorating, Parenting or a hobby you like.

    Next, go to Clickbank and look at the sales letters there. Do a search on the niche topic you are interested in. You can instantly see what has been written by the experts and what is really poorly written. I’ll bet you will be able to find examples of sales letters where you will think…”Heck even I can do better than that!” And you probably can.

    Check the gravity scores and learn about Clickbank and how it works. Clickbank is one of the fastest way to see great sales copy and easily verify what is selling and what is not by the gravity score and the number of affilates promoting a certain sales letter.

    4. Free - No Cost Way (not elance)- On Clickbank, contact the owner of the sales letters that are pooly written and ask if you can rewrite it for free. Yes, for free. Then if they like it an use it then they owe you money. This works for when you are first starting out, since it gives you an idea of what a sales letter is, (you don’t have to start from scratch) and you can easily better a poorly written sales letter. Also, you can get conversion stats of the old and the new copy you wrote and that is a big deal when asking for more money for your copywriting down the road.

    Plus, most Clickbank affiliate manager are looking for good sales letter writers and they will hire you to write more if you show them more money can be made when you rewrite their poor sales letters that don’t convert.

    5. Elance - Next when you have a few sales letters you have rewritten, even if these are just sample letters so you have them to add to your portfolio on elance) sign up for an elance account. Add your sample sales letters to your elance portfolio and then bid on projects in Writing and Translation and in Marketing. These are the 2 elance categories to sign up for. There is a monthly elance fee, but if you are serious $60 is cheap, even one job will cover your expenses. Figure to bid on 20 projcts a month and make sure to customize your bid to the person, and the project needs, don’t use a generic bid.

    You buy credits to bid. Credits are usually 1 to 2 per project. See elance.com for more details. Right now the bids are $450 to $950 for a ten page sales letter. Now for someone that is just getting started, bid low, and as you gain experience and get more referrals bid higher.

    This is how I started and you can too. Right now I am booking three weeks ahead on sales letters! My previous clients on elance are asking for multiple sales letters and now I am getting a good supply of clients that use my services over and over again. You can do this too!

    If you want a list of some of the sales letters I have written on elance with the links to the websites (I do complete graphics too) send me your email I will send you the list and and I will help you get started.

    No, you don’t have to be a A level copywriter to get copywriting jobs. I would not sign up for ifreelance, or any of the other freelancer sites since the best buyers are on elance. (I already tried them, so save your money.) Plus on elance you are protected by escrow so you are sure to get paid and paid as soon as the job is done.

    If you want more info please contact me, I am happy to help any new copywriter that wants more info.

    When I got laid off as an IT person with ten years experience it really hurt. If I can do it you can too. You can be a successful copywriter and in time make good money, and if you are motivated and work hard you can make this into a full time income.

    At 51 I did, with NO prior writing experience. Right now I am writing this in my PJs. No more corporate suits for me!

    I did it, and you can too!

    I agree with most of the comments that Clarke mentioned above too. Also know, when you do the complete job with the graphics you will get more bids accepted if you are bidding on the sales letters with graphics. You can hook up with good graphic designer on elance to make the sales letter template and can do the whole job for the client. This will help you get even more projects and be able to bid higher for them too.

    On getting good Testimonials. I agree with Clarke, it is best to get real testimonials from users in exchange for a rewiew of your ebook, or software. I feel 40 to 50 pages is maximum for a test ebook. You do want to test the market to see if people will buy it. Also, there are writing jobs for copywriters on elance who are looking for ebook writers every day.

    I test ebooks that I buy or have written for me and use Google Adwords to do it. Average conversions range from 1 to 4% on ebooks, although I can covert higher with a longer sales letter, just depends on the market, and if I am sending cold or warm visitors. (Warm is from a email list.)

    Just don’t give up! You can be a copywriter that makes a good income, just remember the great copywriters, eat, drink and well you know everything else…for copy!

    You have to be very dedicated to be one of the greats, but you can make money as an entry level copywriter too. Just get started, get motivated and read all that Clayton has on this site, that is an education in itself!

    BTW, Clayton, yes, I agree with the post above, we do need a “Paint By the Numbers” Web Sales Letter Guide.

    Regards,

    Jennie Heckel
    Wisconsin Copy Cub
    jennieheckel@aol.com

24. Comment by Alan — May 11, 2009 @ 6:09 pm

    Hey Clayton & Readers,

    HOW D´YOU PRIZE 100,000€ FROM SOMEONE´S HAND USING WORDS

    (Might be my headline here)

    This is a tuffy, and I challenge anyone to use their most powerful on-paper closes or tactics (….please).

    I am looking for investors for a business in Spain and I need 100K (€) more, to get started.

    I´ve already got 2 investors and I´ve been contacting prospects via email, saying something like this (below).
    ———————–

    Please give me points and any corrections or advice – Thanks sincerely

    Would you like your money to grow while you sleep (or work in your own career)? Do you want to be sure it is recession-safe? If so, you may want to read about this new opportunity with proven results in other countries.

    I have developed a detailed plan for a business which has been tried and tested in other countries with astounding results and is ready to be implemented in Spain, just 1 hour´s drive from (our town).

    Spain is yet to embrace this type of business that has already generated millions of €uros in revenue in the USA, UK, Australia and many other European and Asian countries.

    Hello, my name is Alan Shieff. I have lived in (this town) for over a year now and my expertise comes from my experience of running this type of business for 13 years in Hong Kong – a very cosmopolitan Asian city.

    I have already steered this kind of business through a recession in Asia in 1997.

    I am now looking to build an empowering long term relationship with local investors who understand Spanish culture, who are forward thinking and open minded.

    With my experience and hard work, plus our combined investment we could be the first to introduce this new, low cost, high volume industry to Spain.

    What we need to do now is take the first step and have an initial discussion to see if we are right for each other.

    If you want to know more, please understand that I am very serious about this proposal. I only want to hear from you if:

    #1 - You are serious about putting your money to work for YOU - and
    #2 - You are in a position to do so now.

    If you can answer YES to both of the above, call my number now. It´s 696 *** 534 (My name is Alan). I will welcome your call and fill you in on the details.

    Remember: This is not a “get rich quick” idea. There will be a lot of hard work (from me) and from our money – because it is hard work and bringing value to the community, over a long period that will reward us.

    Pick up your phone and call my number now: 696 *** 534 – Your call will be warmly received.

    Sincerely……(my signature)
    ————————————-
    You can see I´m not giving the details because the letter´s job is to get fairly qualified calls.

    What d´you think about that? Is this the way YOU would advise going about this?

    Any ideas on how to get investment and comments on the letter will be valuable & appreciated.

25. Comment by Tian Yan — May 11, 2009 @ 7:27 pm

    Hi Big Guy,

    Hope you’re doing swell.

    1. I’m still mastering the art of storytelling in my sales copy. The common problem I face is sometimes the story becomes “too cute” (does not sell the product) or too long (start selling already).

    How do you use a story-telling strategically in sales copy?

    2. Do you think adopting a no-hype, non-traditional-direct-response voice can improve sales? I don’t want readers to dismiss my sales messages and recognize from the beginning that they are reading a sales letter. Hence, do you think there is value in being positioned as a non-hype copywriter who does not overuse the old, proven tactics like “Discover…”, “At Last…”, “Dear Friend…” and use more natural, non-hype language? After all, the WSJ control ad is largely non-hyped and used indirect persuasion to make its case.

    3. How do you use questions (or rhetorical questions) properly in sales copy, especially in the opening of the copy?

    Warmly,
    - Tian Yan

26. Comment by Fred Black — May 11, 2009 @ 8:22 pm

    To Jennie Heckel…
    That is one of the best and most generous comments I’ve ever read!

27. Comment by Glenn Livingston — May 11, 2009 @ 9:33 pm

    Clayton … when you’re in a market where there is a lot of hype, or downright lying, yet you DO have something valuable to offer, have you any advice regarding how to be heard through the lies?

    For example, in weight loss, the prevailing wind in advertising seems to scream “take a pill and wake up skinny”. How can you fight that with the truth, which is conquering your problem with focus and determination?

    Or if you offer marketing advice, where the prevailing wind is “buy my package and you WILL make money tonight”, how can you fight with the truth, which is research, persistence, hard work, etc?

28. Comment by Tony M. — May 11, 2009 @ 9:41 pm

    Hi Clayton,
    thanks for the opportunity to ask !

    Here’s my question :
    How do you create the kind of desire that has people proactively FIND the money to buy your product ?

    I get “i’m a student and I don’t have the money” a lot, however many of my current customers are students - they just went out and got a job, or got their parents to pay for my product.

    How do I motivate people to take action and “find the money” ?

    Tony

29. Comment by Him — May 12, 2009 @ 12:05 am

    I’ll push the intensity up a little bit…

    1.) Clayton, if the doctor tells you that you have only one last day to live - what will you teach your children on how they can become as great (if not greater) of a copywriter as you are?

    2.) If someone is not born with a flair to write, and if you’re absolutely honest to your heart, do you think it’s possible for him to be as great of a copywriter as you are? (Stephen King states otherwise several times in his book “On Writing.”) What is your sincerest opinion?

    3.) Is online copywriting different from direct-response copywriting? If so, what is the number one most important thing to remember while writing an online sales copy? What’s the reason for it?

    4.) What is the ONE copywriting technique you can’t live without? As in - when you write copy, what’s the one thing that subconsciously keeps bugging you to remember? Scratch that… what are all of them, and what’s the most eminent one?

    5.) How did you attain the courage you have? Can you let us know what is the one most impacting event that made you who you are today? What’s the number one lesson we should learn from it?

    6.) Why are you better than the rest of the copywriters in the world? A really personal answer would be good… factual content is great but when it pours from the heart your sharing becomes amazing. Can you list the steps of how to become as awesome as you are from beginning to the end?

    7.) How did you improve your English or attained your gift for a way with words? If someone does really bad in it, what would be the resources you’d suggest he or she study? Lastly, what’s the *mentality a copywriter should adopt if he or she desires to write revolutionary copy?

    I just got to tell you I love, respect and am grateful for all the work you’ve done.

    Omshanti,
    Him

30. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 12, 2009 @ 3:48 am

    Great questions, everyone!

    CONOR: You don’t say what your product is, so giving you a specific opinion isn’t possible.

    However, the two-step approach you’re using is generally considered second best - used when a product requires customization or when the price is extremely high and customers need some kid-glove handling. Otherwise, a one-step ordering process is usually best.

    Depending on your product, a heads-up test would probably be a good idea.

    NATHAN: You’ve been paying attention! Yes, we tested delivering our eletter in an email against sending invites asking subscribers to come to the site to read.

    We settled on using invites because we found that due to the marketing language often used in our articles, spam filters were blocking many of our eletters. We went to the “invitation” model in order to increase our delivery rates.

    THOMAS: It’s simple, really: Make us an offer we can’t refuse.

    Online businesses are like any other; we have a scarce resource and need to use it in the most productive ways possible.

    Offline, the scarcest resource is often money. Online, where we can contact our customers and prospects for free, our scarcest resource is time: There are only so many products we can promote each month.

    Assuming that all available products offer substantial value to our list, the decision usually boils down to selecting the product with the greatest revenue potential.

    If your mission is to build a list and monetize it later, you should be willing to give up to 100% of your revenues to your marketing partners in order to maximize their participation.

    If, on the other hand, you’re looking to make money while building your list, sales commissions of 30% to 50% are standard.

    Keep in mind that your price is also important. If you’re selling a low-price product, you may have to offer a situation in which you pay a commission on the first AND future sales to each new buyer derived from each list.

    You do this by placing a cookie on all new customers’ machines, then paying your affiliates a royalty each time a name makes an additional purchase. Since most people delete cookies periodically, the commissions will continue for several months.

    WEB GURU LIVE: Tell me more about your product. Maybe we can work something out.

    NICK: Several ideas for you …

    First, send the product to acknowledged experts in your niche and get their testimonials.

    Second, give the product to friends and family and ask them to write about it. Or better yet, video tape their responses so you can chose whether to use them as text or video testimonials or both.

    Third, if you still need more testimonials, consider running ads in your local paper, on Craig’s list and elsewhere, inviting people to participate in a marketing test. Give them the product and then schedule a time to get their reactions.

    Fourth, if your product uses an ingredient, process or other component that has been endorsed by thought leaders or reputable organizations in your niche, consider using things they’ve written or said to bring credibility.

    JOHN PAYNE: The answer to your question depends on several factors not specifically addressed in your question. What’s the gift? What’s the product? What’s the presentation?

    More detail, please?

    RICK: If I were you, I’d pick the niche in which you have the greatest expertise and that will enable you to generate the most impressive results for the clients you attract.

    Focus on creating success for your clients. Do that and they’ll stay with you for years. Plus, word will get around and new clients will line up to get onto your dance card.

    KATHY: First, recognize that it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed when doing something new. Take a deep breath; relax and give yourself time to think through this. And most importantly, remember that this isn’t about writing great literature; it’s about simple persuasion and exerting influence — something you learned about when you were a child.

    Simplify; focus your creative energies on one niche.

    Immerse yourself: Buy some products online and offline to get on several customer files. Study everything you see in that niche to get a feel for what’s working.

    Practice: Pick promotions that you see in the mail and online and try to write better ones.

    Think: What could the copywriter have said or done to make YOU eager to purchase the product?

    Network: Ask your friends and family and even complete strangers to critique your spec projects. When you think you’re ready, share them with other writers and ultimately, with prospective clients.

    That’s all for now, folks … check in later — I’ll answer every one of your questions this week!

    – CLAYTON

31. Comment by Mark — May 12, 2009 @ 5:57 am

    Clayton…here is my question.

    This has given me much turmoil and I’m wondering if anyone else has this problem.

    When writing copy…why is it you can sit down and write a piece…then later if your mood changes…you suddenly think it needs rewritten…then if latter your mood changes…

    Hopefully you’ll understand what I’m trying to ask.

    Am I the only one that has this problem or is this normal…how do you stay consistent?

32. Comment by Todd — May 12, 2009 @ 9:06 am

    Hi Clayton,

    Quick question… how would you structure your sales messages when selling to parents? The child is getting the service but the parents are paying for it… we essentially sell sport camps and training.

    Thanks!!

33. Comment by Ronald Nzimora — May 12, 2009 @ 10:23 am

    Hi Clayton,

    Thanks fr this. My question is: How do we your readers in Africa order your products. I’m from Nigeria and reeeaaallly want to get your ‘Desktop Copy Coach’ and ‘Confessions Of Info Marketinf Superstars’ course.

    Ronald

34. Comment by Dan — May 12, 2009 @ 12:37 pm

    Hey, thanks for the opportunity to ask a question. This one has been vexing me for a while.

    I’ve invested a lot of time and money building a customer list in 1shoppingcart. I’ve noticed response and open rates have gotten worse and worse over the past 9 months or so. When I send a promotion that kicked bootay a year ago, I get sucky open rates and response now. And the list is about 5 times bigger now, too. I don’t get it.

    The only thing I can figure is 1shoppingcart’s email delivery has gotten worse and worse.

    Now I’ve got a list of 40,000+ customers stuck in 1shoppingcart with crappy e-mail delivery.

    What can I do?

    Most other services like Aweber won’t allow you to import your e-mail list… or if they do allow it, your customers have to double opt-in. Last time I tried something like that, I had less than 40% do the double opt-in process.

    So am I screwed because 1shoppingcart sucks?

    Dan

35. Comment by Web Guru Live — May 12, 2009 @ 2:07 pm

    Thanks Clayton,

    I sent additional details through your support form.

36. Comment by pete — May 12, 2009 @ 2:14 pm

    Hey Dan, Clayton’s web guy here.

    I feel your pain. For a couple of years we were using 1SC for list management and e-commerce, and Contant Contact to blast emails (having already learned how bad 1SC’s deliverability was). Every day we’d have to pull the list from 1SC, import into CC, and send. It wasn’t ideal, but at least it was a possibility. Eventually we scrapped them both in favor of Infusion, but we did spend about a week asking people to double opt-in in our invites. We did better than 40%, but it was nowhere close to 100.

    So you might look at Constant Contact, at least until you can make the plunge for a good CRM that houses all your info in one place.

    Pete

37. Comment by Bob Oni — May 12, 2009 @ 7:09 pm

    Comment for Tony, POST 28

    You cannot create ‘desire’ for your product. It appears you’ve got a product for which you’re trying to find a market. This is a major marketing error.
    It’s much easier and more profitable to find out what your customers are already buying, or what keeps them awake at night and create a suitable product to solve their problems.
    I can bet that the same students who aren’t buying your product are spending their money buying ‘other’ stuff. Find out what they’re buying and give them more of it.

38. Comment by Gab Goldenberg — May 13, 2009 @ 12:40 am

    Hi Clayton,

    First, this is an awesome idea- thanks so much for giving us this opportunity!

    Second, here’s what I’d like your advice on. I’m an SEO consultant who really enjoys selling hourly consultations. The catch is that my current page (linked from my name) doesn’t convert much. Partly I think it’s a question of interest - most people don’t realize the value in an hourly consultation - but partly I think I can do better selling it.

    I’m thinking that one solution is that I would do better packaging it as a monthly coaching service, where clients get 5-6 hours at a set price, and we have a schedule to chat.

    Another point is that I’m working on a book oriented to those with advanced SEO knowledge and thought that I could offer hourly consultations as an upsell.

    My readers have suggested another solution: do a group webinar, recording it, then putting the video on the lander so people can sample the product, as it were.

    What would you do in my position? How have your own coaching and hourly consultation sales been?

39. Comment by Gab Goldenberg — May 13, 2009 @ 12:48 am

    @Kathy - Reading others’ ads/copy is super helpful. If you can grab airline magazines or any trade publications, you’ll often find some such ads in those…

    @Conrad - While I’m nowhere near the expert Clayton is, I’d say your hooks are right there: fear of screwing up the vacation plans / not having vacation.

40. Comment by Adam Phillips — May 13, 2009 @ 3:26 am

    To DAN (#34):

    I hear you with your problems on getting a half-decent mass mailer.

    AWeber is great - but it doesn’t like to import lists. I don’t have a problem with the double opt-in, because it generates quite high quality lists.

    In addition to AWeber, I use a product called MailFire. It allows you to import lists from various sources. It’s delivery ain’t as good as AWeber, but they’re better (in my experience) than 1shoppingcart. It’s also affordable.

    I think the problem comes in with how ISPs filter domains. If a lot of spam is coming from 1shoppingcart (or any other mass mailer…) generally, the mass mailer gets a bad rep and gets added to spammer filters. The risk is higher for a mass mailer to be added to spam lists is they don’t subscribe to the double opt-in system. [disclaimer: this is pure conjecture, and may be totally wrong - but seems to fit my observations]

    I operate from South Africa, and I found MailFire through my hosting company - WebAfrica (http://www.webafrica.co.za/).

    In the long term though, you may have to educate your list on the benefits of taking the time to opt in to your “new” AWeber list. In any such endeavor, some list casualties are to be expected. If you PLAN well, COMMUNICATE thoroughly, and execute GENTLY, you may be able to minimize the fallout.

41. Comment by Trijo — May 13, 2009 @ 3:47 am

    Hye Clayton,

    how would you craft an offer for any product or service you are planning to promote? Is there a limit to the number of premiums you should give? Is there a way to decide what should be given and what not to be included in the offer? and,

    If you have a plain dry product or service, then how do you spice up the offer making it irresistible for prospects to say no?

    It would be great help, if you could assist me on this one.

    Regards
    Joe

42. Comment by Stuart — May 13, 2009 @ 5:02 am

    Many thanks, Clayton, for this great opportunity to learn. It’s appreciated.

    I couldn’t think of any questions I wanted answering just now (though I’ve found the answers to many in your archives), but it helps to hear these questions and your responses to them. And, I’m getting some answers to questions I’d not yet thought of.

    Also, thanks a lot for sharing, Jennie (post 23).

    I’m still getting started myself and that’s some helpful and inspiring information you’ve shared.

    Best wishes,

    Stuart.

43. Comment by Robert Robinson — May 13, 2009 @ 10:17 am

    Dear Clayton,

    My Question: If you were starting out all over again with an observation of whats going on in today’s business world how would you go about making your 1st $1,000.00 and then doing it again and again?

    Thanks

    RR

44. Comment by Jeremy Reeves — May 13, 2009 @ 12:06 pm

    Hey Clayton, I got a doozy for ya!

    I’m trying to break into the offline market (I do online stuff right now), but one thing is kind of holding me back a bit.

    The problem is that I’m not sure how to format the copy correctly to hand into the client.

    For example, would you be able to show us how you format the copy in Microsoft Word or whatever you’re using as you’re writing it?

    And also can you show the difference in how you do it when writing in different mediums? (i.e. magalogs, sales letters, etc.)

    That would be awesome!

    Thanks big guy,

    Jeremy Reeves

45. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 13, 2009 @ 3:41 pm

    SORRY! I’ve been sidetracked today — I promise I’ll get all caught up early in the AM.

    Be sure to check back tomorrow!

    – Clayton

46. Comment by Conrad — May 13, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

    Hello Gab,
    Thanks for your ideas … I will give it some thought and see what I can comw up with.

47. Comment by Mike Seiler — May 13, 2009 @ 6:57 pm

    Hi Clayton,

    If I was a younger man, I’d dream about “making it” with a movie star.
    If I was a lot older and mathematically challenged because of Alzheimer’s, I’d dream about winning the lottery.

    But here and now?

    I’m dreaming about being your copy cub and having my copy mercilessly shredded by “the peace maker.” Let me explain why I’m sure my copy deserves it.

    To be sure, I’ve come a long way in the last 3 years.

    I had a blast getting trained by Ray Edwards, the copywriter to a lot of the internet marketing luminaries. (BTW, I do have a video testimonial from him because I ended up writing some copy for him too.)

    Now, I earn my living writing copy for my own internet marketing business, and I’ve even picked up an occasional client for my copywriting or adwords management services.

    But if I look at what I wrote even a few months back, it reads like incoherent drivel next to your masterpieces.

    The last two Januarys, I’ve tried to convince my wife that a 1 year move from our slice of heaven (It’s high up in the rarified air of the Colorado Rockies) to a town that’s near the off ramp of the Blue Ridge Parkway isn’t so bad. But my persuasion skills fall far short of pulling that off.

    What to do?

    I know! Ask!

    “Is there any way I can have a shot at being an active participant in planet Makepeace without having to pledge my firstborn or take a year away from home?”

    Insert answer below.

48. Comment by Manane — May 13, 2009 @ 11:12 pm

    Hi, Clayton!

    Here’s a headline…

    The intent to is get people to sign up for an income generating program — perfect for the times. I didn’t want to sound like many similar promotions.

    Urgent: What To Do To When Everything Looks Bleak

    Thanks for your indulgence…

    Manane
    PS. Some background. The program offers an opportunity to make money buying and selling distressed properties. The purchases are funded by the program. So there is zero personal risk to you.
    PPS The link: weprovidethecash.com/?id=shortsalestrategies

49. Comment by Kirsten Plotkin — May 15, 2009 @ 12:59 am

    Hi Clayton,

    My comment relates to the last time you invited questions and comments. At that time I asked you some questions about a book I’d just completed. The book is about ‘how I cured my symptoms of type2 diabetes, and in the process, solved my weight problems…permanently’.

    You said to send you a copy of the manuscript and you would make some comments. I emailed it to you via Martha, but have not yet had a reply.

    The book has now had a final edit, so comments are now too late. But since you already have the manuscript, there is one thing I could truly use some advice with and that’s how to price it. Since this is my first book, I’m out of my comfort zone when it comes to price, yet I realise this is a critical area and must be done right.

    Your suggestion will be highly valued and appreciated.

    Kind regards

    Kirsten Plotkin

50. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 15, 2009 @ 2:22 am

    MORE ANSWERS …

    TO CONRAD: Ah, procrastination - one of my favorite vices!

    So how does a marketer persuade prospects to act on or before a certain date?

    In our archives, I’ve called these techniques “urgency elements” and they include …

    1. An enrollment period that closes on a particular date …

    2. A discount that expires on a particular date …

    3. A limited offer — only the first Xnumber of people who respond will get in …

    4. A premium — an added value component — that is only available to the first Xnumber of buyers or before a particular date …

    5. Any deadline-centric offer.

    On the web, deadlines are the ultimate marketing tool simply because you have the opportunity to email your file daily at little or no cost. Each daily email can include some actionable value-added content to promote readership and to demonstrate the value of your techniques — and also a “countdown” to the final deadline for enrolling.

    It’s important to have a credible rationale for WHY there MUST be a deadline, so you’ll need to work on that as well.

    Maybe your product runs in cycles (like a college; with enrollment periods followed by teaching periods).

    Maybe the deadline is in your prospect’s best interest: “I need a minimum of x weeks with your tricycle motor to make sure he/she gets to Phi Beta Kappa status …”

    Sometimes, you can find an external rationale for your deadline — a tax deadline, for instance.

    Think about it and I’m sure you’ll work out a great way to go. Otherwise, tell me more about your product and I’ll cook something up for you.

    KEVIN PULS: Have you thought about having a contest?

    Have several sympathetic companies donate something of value — a car, a repossessed house, a laptop computer.

    Give your contest a name that elevates it to the level of a national campaign to document the courage and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform. I’m reminded of the book title “The Greatest Generation.”

    Then, throw down the gauntlet: The person who sends the best story wins.

    Also think about HOW you want people to tell these stories. Challenge them to make a video and post it on YouTube and you’ll get some viral impact as well.

    JOHN GAMBLE: Thanks! I want to get back to Biloxi ASAP. Best time I’ve had in a long time.

    This month, though, we’re having a huge family confab down on Lake Lanier — rented a 10,000 square foot mansion that sleeps 20. We leave today.

    Then, in August, it’s off to Jolly Old England to pick up my daughter at Oxford, to visit the family manse there and learn to drive on the wrong side of the street.

    Looks like it’ll be fall before I get back to the blackjack tables — I’ll keep you posted.

    I.A.

    The formula for earning more is a simple one — DOING IT takes a little time and effort:

    1. Write letters that produce superior sales results. Do this by honing your skills, working your tail off on every assignment and of course, only accepting assignments that give you a high probability of knocking one out of the park.

    2. Make sure word of your successes gets around — create a list of the companies you want to work for … create a “news of the store” newsletter (online or off) to herald your successes, even to display your work product and results.

    3. When clients call, be “too busy” to accept assignments at lower dollar amounts.

    Here’s a little secret: When clients hire writers, they have three considerations in mind:

    1. The price they’ll have to pay for the copy …

    2. The results the copy will produce in terms of increased response, average sale and profits …

    3. The deadline by which they’ll need the copy.

    Of these, price is the LEAST important factor to clients — or at least to clients who are worthy of your talents. Results are the #1 factor.

    Establish reputation for delivering great results on deadline and you’ll be able to write your own ticket.

    MORE ANSWERS BELOW …

51. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 15, 2009 @ 3:27 am

    CHRIS AND LALLAH:

    Overweight baby boomers? I’M IN!

    How would I approach such a venture? First, although polls are great to engage a group of prospects in a discussion or to elicit testimonials, I wouldn’t spend much doing polls at the outset. Most folks won’t tell you the truth and few follow through or buy products they say they’d buy in their answers.

    Instead, get thee to the nearest Barnes & Noble. Buy every magazine and book aimed at your prospect group. Watch every weight loss show, infomercial and ad on TV.

    The authors/publishers/producers have already spent millions on market research and on analyzing the comparative results on many, MANY direct response promotions. The chapters, articles and ads you see in these publications are your clues to what that experience taught them.

    As you study your market, think: “What dominant resident emotions do these books, magazine articles and ads activate?”

    You may come to some startling conclusions about your chubby boomers. You may find, for instance that they really don’t care about having six-pack abs or buns of steel.

    You may find that your prospects are far more interested in being loved and accepted and to enjoy secure relationships …

    But have come to the conclusion that those extra pounds are the reason why they’re in unsatisfying relationships — or worse; alone.

    You may also find that older folks are more in touch with the fact that the Grim Reaper is stalking them — and that those extra pounds make it less likely that they’ll continue to outfox him.

    Think about what your prospects really fear, really desire and what really frustrates them every day of their lives. Then create a community in which those emotions are assuaged or fulfilled.

    The waddling world will beat a path to your door.

    RICHARD ARMSTRONG: HAH! No, I’m actually enjoying this a lot! I only wish I could go deeper on some of these questions.

    MIKE BRESEE: Wow. Great question!

    I was recently diagnosed “ADHD” by a friend who happens to be a psychology professor — so it takes me time to focus on the work at hand and any interruptions means it’ll take more time to get back to the work that needs to be done.

    Perhaps the best advice anyone can ever give anyone is simply, “Know thyself.” And because I know me fairly well after a half-century, here’s how I’ve compensated …

    1. I select my work hours carefully. I started answering these questions around 2:00 AM this morning, for instance; it’s now 3:40 AM.

    It’s not that I’m an accidental insomniac; just that years ago I realized that working when everyone else is asleep means the phone will NEVER ring while I’m writing.

    2. Everyone in my life knows that if they interrupt me, they will suffer a fate worse than death. Sorry; but if The Redhead, the employees, the kids or anyone else intrudes on my work time, they are guilty of violating what I call “The Eleventh Commandment” — and there will be hell to pay.

    They also know that by letting me concentrate, they help me make more money and they get more goodies. And when I’m done, we’ll go do something fun together and they’ll have my full attention.

    See? A carrot and a stick.

    3. Not everyone in my life knows about or honors The Eleventh Commandment and as a result, many friends, clients and wannabe clients gleefully violate it on the slightest provocation.

    The intruder is always polite, of course: “I don’t mean to interrupt — but do you have a moment?”

    I’m thinking, “Of course you meant to interrupt me and no, I do not have a moment but now that you’ve broken my concentration the horse is out of the barn. So what’s up?”

    I usually only say that last part; those last three words.

    So I handle the interruption as graciously as possible, then give myself time to get back into the work at hand.

    That’s what works for me … you’re going to have to think your way about what would work best for you.

    CHRIS:

    I honestly don’t know whether HTML or text emails get better deliverability. We send both. If your email client is set up to receive HTML, you get the all-singing, all-dancing, full-graphics version. Otherwise, you get the text version.

    JOHN: Copy length? My rule is simple: “Write until you run out of reasons why the prospect should act.”

    If your mission is just to get someone to click a link to watch a video or read a sales page … you’re not asking for money … and you’re using a simple “intrigue” motivator to do it (a la Kern and Walker), short emails are fine.

    If your email is one of a protracted series of emails; each one moving the prospect one step closer to making a purchase but NOT asking for the sale, short copy is often fine as well.

    But you need to have your prospect at an entirely different place if you’re asking him to part with real money … look up and type in his credit card number, expiration date and CVC number … and click submit.

    Another consideration: The “texture” of your campaign. You need to mix it up.

    Many of the emails I write are less than two pages long and merely provide the reason why my prospect should click a link to grab some free info in a complementary report (online infomercial or sales page).

    Others contain the full text of my sales page. Next week, I’m blasting a 27-page-long email to a file of 400,000 names.

    P.S. A client has a file consisting of about 30k who have previously made a purchase and 370k who subscribe to a free ezine but have never bought anything before.

    Our one-month email campaign — using this combination of long and short emails, two online video events and a l-o-n-g sales page — generated revenues of $36.50 per name on the file.

    Two weeks ago, Jeff Walker told me that it was by far the most profitable online campaign he’s ever seen.

    MORE ANSWERS BELOW …

52. Comment by dominic — May 15, 2009 @ 4:14 am

    Hi Clayton,

    My niece wrote a fantasy adventure book,( which according to reviews, is better if not comparable to some bestsellers in the market) two years ago, without a marketing plan.

    How can I help her sell her books?

    Thanks,

    Doms

53. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 15, 2009 @ 4:20 am

    CLARKE AND JOHN: Actually, I wrote that promo four years ago. Two versions of it mailed nearly 60 million pieces at a cost of over $30 million.

    Despite our $500-plus-per-thousand mailing cost, we did break-even or better on our $30 million investment and generated hundreds of thousands of new customers for the client.

    JENNIE HECKEL: Thanks for your ringing endorsement of The Desktop Copy Coach, Jennie!

    Your approach for making great money writing copy online is OUTSTANDING. When I was starting out, I did much the same offline.

    BTW: Beat the Blank Page Blues is our report with three templates for writing great sales letters. It’s cheap and it’s in our online store. We also have three products to help you build a successful copywriting business. Check them out!

    ALAN: I’d like to see how the group critiques your letter, so I’m not going to go into detail. Just one thought though …

    If you want 100k euros of my money, you’re going to have to give me a LOT more detail on who you are and on the people who’ve made money with you. I’m going to need to see independent, third-party statements by CPAs and/or tax-preparers who are going crazy trying to figure out what to do with all the money their clients are making thanks to you.

    I need to see their stories, see their bank statements, see what they’ve bought with the money and see how it has changed their lives.

    Show me all that, then just tell me where to send the check!

    TIAN YANG: No, I don’t often use storytelling in my copy. It’s not that I don’t like the approach; it’s just that most of my copy is going to house file names these days.

    However, the “23-cent heart miracle” copy that Clarke refers to above does begin with a story — and it worked like gangbusters.

    Five keys to a great story lead …

    1. Get your benefit into the headline

    2. Include a healthy dose of irony and intrigue in the head and first couple of paragraphs

    3. Help your prospect see himself in the hero of your story; especially his initial skepticism that the product would actually work

    4. Paint a vivid word picture of the hero enjoying your product’s benefits,

    5. Make it short and entertaining.

    For my money, the past master of storytelling in direct response promos is John Carlton. His “How a bald barber saved my hair” is a classic. You should check him out.

    And of course, study Caple’s all-time “They laughed” classic.

    GLENN LIVINGSTON: Ah, yes. How to establish credibility in a world of scoundrels. Huge challenge — and thanks to the @#$%^! free Internet, getting huger by the day.

    You’ve picked two of the biggies. The weight loss field is, frankly, made up of 99% charlatans and 1% the real deal. And in the biz-opp, marketing and copywriting fields, it’s even worse.

    In these two niches especially, I’m tempted to address my prospects’ skepticism directly — acknowledging it, registering my disgust for the ways these hucksters use and abuse him, saying I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t believe a word I said.

    Then, I’d let other people tell my story for me.

    > I’d use major, well-respected government agencies, institutions, universities and companies to endorse the substance or methodology my product is based on.

    > I’d use the top big-name experts in the field to add their tacit endorsements …

    > I’d use no-name folks with credible qualifications (doctors, M.B.A.s, etc) to add their explicit endorsements …

    > I’d use customers’ testimonials and detailed case histories. I’d also have their personal experts (doctors, CPAs, etc.) document their case histories.

    Also: I’d show the PROCESS that makes my product superior. In the health field for instance, I’d show diagrams or better yet, microscopic or laparoscopic photos of the process that causes the problem and how my product resolves it.

    And of course, I’d focus enormous energy on writing my guarantee. “It works or it’s free” is the best, but make it a personal contract; a solemn vow you make to the customer. Best: If it doesn’t work, it costs YOU something.

    THINK: What would I have to see in order to become convinced that this product will actually work for me?

    TONY: How would I make prospects who don’t have the money to buy my product go out and FIND the money to buy my product?

    I wouldn’t. I’d find better prospects.

    It takes just as much time and effort to promote a product to prospects who are ready, willing and ABLE to buy as it does to try to sell to prospects who lack one of those three elements.

    In the 1990s, I wrote a promo for a mainstream health newsletter edited by a cardiologist about how to manage heart disease with drugs and surgery. My product cost 50% more than other mainstream health newsletters (Tufts, Berkley, etc) and unlike the competition, it was not a bill-me offer. Subscribers had to pay up front.

    I spent a month writing the promo. It bombed. Lousy .4% response rate. My royalties: ZERO.

    A couple of months later, I was asked to launch a new health letter — the very first alternative health letter called “Health and Healing” — edited by a renegade anti-establishment physician, who addressed prevention and healing with nutrition and lifestyle changes.

    I spent a month writing that promo and it became one of the greatest home-runs in direct response history. A 4% response rate. My royalties: ASTRONOMICAL!

    Same amount of work on both project; huge difference in results. Get my drift?

    MORE ANSWERS BELOW …

54. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 15, 2009 @ 5:09 am

    HIM: You want a blog post? Or a seven-week course?

    Short answers below …

    1. Forget writing. Forget marketing. Become an expert on humanity. Strive to understand the secret insecurities, fears, frustrations and desires that never show up in any polls.

    Learn to see through the false facade we erect around ourselves and see every adult as a five-year-old child inside — insecure, mischievous and playful, craving attention and approval, easily frightened, often frustrated, quickly bored, spontaneous, impulsive and driven by these emotions.

    Go to the mall and watch people. Study them in every situation imaginable; in business meetings … in restaurants and bars … in politics … in arguments … in romantic situations and more.

    Observe how everything about them — their hair … their style of dress … the homes and cars they buy … their attitudes and mannerisms … betray the truth about their inner selves.

    Make human nature your obsession and not only will you become a greater copywriter, you’ll also become a better husband, father, friend, negotiator and businessperson.

    2. See answer #1, above. This isn’t about writing. This is about human nature. An adequate writer who takes the time and exerts the effort to really understand human nature will achieve far greater success than a Shakespeare with a tin ear for people.

    3. The high cost of offline promotions severely restricts the length of your message and the number of times you can contact each prospect. This means every promotion must be a full-frontal attack: You must present every benefit your product offers and ask for the sale in every contact.

    The low-cost-or-free Internet enables you to establish a relationship with your prospect over time. That means you can take your time … ply her with fine food, wine and thoughtful gifts … impress her with your honesty, loyalty and convince her of your devotion … tease her with days; weeks; even months of titillating foreplay … bring her to the point where she’s ready to knock you down and stuff money into your pocket if you don’t ask for the sale — and soon!

    4. See answer #1, above. The one thing that drives everything I do is my prospect; what he’s feeling right now and how that connects to my product. How my product assuages or fulfills his most intense resident emotions.

    5. I’m not courageous. I’m a huge coward. And my biggest fear is the fear of failure.

    I’ve been there. It sucks. Especially when other people are counting on ME for their daily bread.

    I’m terrified at the thought that I could ever have to apologize for the fact that my own failure cost my family or my client in some way.

    So I don’t mind working my keester off — and I certainly don’t mind doing things that scare me less than failure does.

    In Joe Versus the Volcano, Meg Ryan tells Tom Hanks that she’s miserable because she’s dependent on her fathers’ money. She’s terrified of stepping out on her own. But staying under the old man’s thumb is so miserable, she’s contemplating suicide.

    Hanks character says something like, “If the choice is between doing something that scares you or killing yourself, why not just do the scary thing?”

    Words to live by!

    6. I’m not better than every other copywriter in the world. Bencivenga amazes me. Rutz blows me away. Sugarman and Nicholas and Drayton Bird are heroes.

    And all the greats share one thing. You guessed it; Answer #1 above.

    7. I was lucky: My parents had great vocabularies. I developed a love for the English language and a fascination with words and phrases early on.

    The best advice I can offer is to immerse yourself in the language. Read great, descriptive writers. Read poetry to gain a feel for meter and rhythm. Listen for key turns of phrases and play with them; improve them yourself. Hang out with folks who share a fascination with language. Pay special attention to words and phrases that evoke emotion.

    8. The mentality of a great copywriter: You’re a missionary; an evangelist.

    You have a product that will change millions of lives for the better.

    It is your solemn obligation to make the world better — to be a blessing to humanity — by getting that product into as many homes and hands as is humanly possible.

    If you can’t work up that kind of passion for your product, get a different product.

    If you can’t work up that kind of passion for ANY product, get a different career.

    THAT’S IT FOR TODAY, BOYS AND GIRLS — keep your questions coming; I promise I’ll answer every one of them!

    Cheers,

    CLAYTON

55. Comment by Martin — May 15, 2009 @ 6:28 am

    Hi all,

    Go half way back up the page and you’ll see that Jennie (Heckel) wrote a great little post about finding work if you’re a copywriter.

    She mentioned that you can start (a solid idea BTW) by contacting owners of sales letters of ClickBank products.

    Well, I thought I’d pipe in here because as an owner of one of these ClickBank product sales letters… I’d love someone to take a shot at re-writing my sales page!

    In fact, I’ll even point you to the sales page right here (http://yourthaigirl.com). Feel free to contact me if you’re inspired to do this. It’d be great for both of us.

    And fun too.

    Thanks Clayton!
    Martin
    Check my site for contact details.

56. Comment by John Gamble — May 15, 2009 @ 10:43 am

    Fair enough, big man.

    Sounds like your dance card’s full. Just wanted to make sure you enjoyed the spoils of your labor and didn’t work too hard.

    Thanks for this opportunity this week. It’s been instructive reading all of the good ideas.

    Cheers,

    John

    Monsanto Sucker-Punched the Milkman…Again

57. Comment by Joe Ryan — May 15, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

    “Two versions of it mailed nearly 60 million pieces at
    a cost of over $30 million.”

    T-h-h-hirty Million??

    Just on the mailing? Is this over the past 4 years? That’s
    a LOT of money tied up for one product.

    Guess there’s something to this alternative health niche.
    So is that a thing of the past, investing like that in direct mail?

58. Comment by Ruth — May 15, 2009 @ 3:26 pm

    ‘Ray for Jennie, coming out with gritty nitty ideas we can

    certainly use. Thanks, Jennie, and you also, Clayton for

    your contributions.

59. Comment by Him — May 15, 2009 @ 5:15 pm

    After so many years of studying through copywriting courses and materials, it’s through your answers today that I’m finally satisfied.

    Clayton, you should be the only Copywriter people learn from today, in these times… what you’ve shared here in the “Makepeace Total Package” is beyond price.

    Thank you so much for your answers.

    Omshanti,
    Him

60. Comment by Conrad — May 16, 2009 @ 12:05 pm

    Clayton,

    Thanks for the ideas - I will weave my offer around these.

    And thank you for investing your time so generously with us readers. It is appreciated - a lot, in fact.

    And I will take your advice in forgetting about copywriting & marketing and to study humanity - which sort of seems like a huge cannon shot …. now there might be a good product idea for your team …

61. Comment by Steve Lanning — May 16, 2009 @ 12:59 pm

    Thanks, Clayton,
    Nice list of heros you’ve got there. Nick, er Ted Nicholas was the one responsible for launching my Consulting Opportunities Journal tab back in the early 1980’s when I refused a check from him and bartered for a package insert series from his Company Corporation.

    GAB #38: As I’m the guy who created and co-founded the National Association of Business Coaches in 1997 ,you are on the right track with packaging your hours. It now depends on your package. Our NABC members (as well as their clients) hit paydirt when we launched our (you’ll love this Clayton as it seems so old hat now)Silver, Gold and Platinum coaching packages for 3X/month coaching with clients.

    Love the fact you “really enjoy” selling one hour consultations. If you were my coaching client, I’d take a different tack. If folks don’t believe they can get anything from a one-hour consult from a crackerjack SEO guy, you may need to build up value in client education (in sales letters, in person and on the phone). I deeply respect math guys–I’m living on the other side of the brain!

    GAB, maybe we can help each other on a quid pro quo basis. A good friend of mine has published our very successful area business publication for the past 20 years. There are arond 16,000+ (it’s private and may be more) businesses and individuals on his list (it’s a small, tight area along I-81). He makes it very difficult to get on his distribution list (he is NOT a marketer). The Washington or Baltimore Business Journal it ain’t! But it has terrific content.

    Recently I asked him why in the world he has spent all these years publishing it and never has once been online with it or any products–at least a Blog. His answer? “I don’t do Internet and besides, Steve, what’s a Blog?” I kid you not, it is a true story.

    His second comment was better, “Why don’t you take on that project? If you do you know you are on your own, right?”

    I just told him I wanted his blessing. I knew I couldn’t get his list anyway. I’ve got some terrific plans (I think) for two online portal Blogs as I know B to B marketing and business development and this area. Would it be proper for me to ask you to exchange a one-hour (or on-going) consult with you for your permanent listing and link in my online portal, Gab?

    Your thoughts?
    Steve

62. Comment by Barnaby Jones — May 16, 2009 @ 2:39 pm

    Hey Clayton,

    I was wondering about writing subhead for product features.

    I’m writing copy for a garage door. The garage door has a safety feature that prevents the door from free falling in the event that a cable or springs breaks. Now based on some research that I did on injuries and deaths cause by falling garage doors I can up with the following.

    Is small,But it’s mighty- brand X’s Anti- drop system

    The only garage door safety system that prevents catastrophic garage door failure,in the blink of an eye… it will stop your new garage door dead in its tracks if your springs or cables ever break.

    My question is this. how far is too far. If I wanted a more in your face benefit bullet. How do I know how much is too much, and what I mean is at what point will I start turning off my prospects by mentioning terrible things that could happen if they don’t buy my product.

    By the way I love the Double Your Profits book it helped me write what I think is a incredibly Eye grabbing headline which establishes a common enemy, Washington. it shows a picture of the white house with text on top. I showed it to some people and some were offended, others that I know whom already dislike the current administration I sure would to jump aboard the Washington bashing part. Should I care if I offend people who aren’t in my target group?

    Thanks for the Great Lessons and swipe file

    TK

63. Comment by Tammy — May 17, 2009 @ 4:10 am

    Hi,

    I don’t have a list but since getting email from Jeff Walker, I know it is possible to build a huge list from doing a launch without waiting years to build a list.

    This is the approach I would like to take to get started.

    I was not able to afford Jeff’s PLF 1 or 2 but am interested in the basics of a GOOD launch.
    Since PLF1 is not availableto me, I am asking the smartest person I know in the marketing field how you would do it?

    Would you possibly give us a list of the things you do to have a successful launch(taking into consideration I don’t have a list but want to use the launch to build one?

    How would you pull this off?

    Clayton’s launch tactics!!

    You are at the top of my list of extremely smart marketers
    and I would love to know how you organize a really great launch from start to finish.
    If this is too much to ask, could you give me a few pointers in the right direction?

    Thanks for any help,
    Tammy

64. Comment by MARKEAUX — May 18, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

    Hey CLAYTON! I hope you and yours are doing well. I am in the process of moving so all activity has been on hold for a while. This equals low $$$$. That’s OK but when I get settled into my new location I’m gonna want to get some income coming in PRONTO! I realize such venues don’t usually produce the big bucks and of course I want them too. It’s just that I’ll want some quick income whatever size it may be at first. As time goes on, of course, I will try newer and larger things most of which, I understand, will take larger and varying amounts of time and effort. So what do you think would provide the quickest income? Is it possible for something quick to actually provide a large income? Thanks much for your ideas and input, not just today but in the past as well!!!! MARKEAUX

65. Comment by MARKEAUX — May 18, 2009 @ 12:38 pm

    PS I am pushed for time so I was unable to czech out the other submissions. Please forgive if you have addressed my questions already. I am fighting with the rain-all my stuff is in cardboard boxes and there is a lot of clean cast iron I don’t want rusting (Yes, I am a GEAR HEAD,) I have many unpainted SMALL BLOCK CHEVY goodies I don’t want getting wet and it has rained here almost every day. This makes, of course, for small windows of opportunity to load and unload. So I will czech out these posts again after dark. Thanks again! MARKEAUX

66. Comment by DJ — May 18, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

    Hi Clayton,

    I heard about you through a marketing class I attended last year and I’ve learned soooooo much! Short story: I’m an enrolled agent (tax accountant/IRS problem solver) and in Fall 2008 I received an endorsement by one of the biggest financial planners on TV and talk radio as a go-to tax person in my metro city. This year I received $$$ from a fortune 500 company based on my plan to grow my firm by helping small biz owners, families, and individuals break thru money and tax barriers to create their own stimulus plan focusing on creating or growing their small biz.

    I’m in the process of creating audio classes, cds, etc. to capitalize on these two huge relationships with financial planner and fortune 500 co. I’d also like to use social media more to reach my target and sell my products and services.

    Questions: If you were launching a promotion for me in the next few months what would it focus on to get the most prospects/clients?

    Thank you for giving back and may you receive a hundredfold return!

    DJ

67. Comment by Michael Mears — May 18, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

    Dear Clayton Makepeace,

    I am no doubt asking you to do more for me than I should reasonably expect, but I am asking anyway because I don’t want to predetermine the extent of your generosity and commitment to helping others succeed.

    I have a Website that sells a product to help problem drinkers and alcoholics overcome their drinking problem. It is a particularly difficult market to close because, it seems to me, the problem drinker and alcoholic struggle with a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde conflict==a sober state and a drunk state. These two minds are in constant battle. I’d like to create copy that breaks through the drunken state of denial and enthuses and motivates the sober state.

    With that goal in mind, would you look at the copy I’ve written on the site and critique it and offer any suggestions to better it? The URL: timetoquitdrinking.com.

    I’d also like to know how to get well-known Web personages to promote the product on their email newsletters. it’s an important product in that it is the only true home=based recovery program on the Internet and there are over 20 million problem drinkers in the US alone.

    Thank you Clayton, and any others who care to chime in. I am grateful.

    Michael Mears, San Rafael, CA

68. Comment by David Sykes — May 18, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

    We have a small boutique beach hotel. Practically all guests book direct, but we need to find more of them.

    Is this a suitable business for affiliates to promote? Suggestions from anyone are welcome.

69. Comment by Jim Braun — May 18, 2009 @ 2:53 pm

    Clayton, I own a tanning Spa, Massage, High Pressure tanning, 1 hour teeth whitening and infared body wraps. Sales were on the up the last two years, but with this year, down. I have tried mailers with great offers and got a 1/2% return of new customers. I have sandwich board signs, flyers, window signs ect. I’m thinking of throwing in the towel, I had to get a full time job(1/2 my income of a year ago) and I’m just mad that I cant’t seem to generate new people or lots of buying. My specails that I rune are at 50%-65% of what I got last year. Any advise?
    PS, I added the teeth and massage to diversify my salon and set it apart.

70. Comment by Robert Lehrer — May 18, 2009 @ 3:52 pm

    Hi Clayton,
    Several years ago, I created a unique reading light. I have utility patents on the product and I have a working prototype to demonstrate the light’s uniqueness to people.

    My market is not the end user of the light. My target market is companies that would manufacturer and sell the light via their distribution channels and pay me a royalty. An alternative with this is a joint venture with an entrepreneur who would fund the manufacture and distribution in return for part ownership.

    How should I target these people/companies. What kind of campaign do you advise that I set up?

    Thanks.

    Robert

71. Comment by Kim — May 18, 2009 @ 6:09 pm

    Hi Clayton,

    I’ve heard that there are some prices that sell a lot better than others, like $47 and $97 (from memory).

    I’ve got a product I’m selling at $160 and I was thinking I should change the price to something that’s not a round number. Do you have any suggestions?

    I tried to google this, but didn’t really know even what search terms I could use, so any further info, links, etc, would be great.

    thanks,
    Kim

72. Comment by Cathy Sutter — May 18, 2009 @ 6:34 pm

    Kim: I was just at a seminar, and the speaker stated that odd numbers are what to use to sell. And he mentioned $97 rather than $99. Interesting…

    So eager to see what Clayton says about this one!

73. Comment by John — May 18, 2009 @ 8:28 pm

    Clayton,
    How do you go about writing great body copy after you nail the lead? Eugene Schwartz lays out some amazing info-on writing body copy-in his book Breakthrough Advertising.
    Will you be teaching your approach to the body of a promotion in upcoming articles? Hope so.

74. Comment by sal — May 18, 2009 @ 8:28 pm

    Hi mr clayton in my industry there is not much information about how to do marketing
    with the garden centers.
    how or where can I find information on how to write ads and
    a killer marketing plan for a garden center.
    how to structure sales ads marketing etc.
    for garden centers.
    thank you mr clayton
    sal!

75. Comment by Kim — May 18, 2009 @ 8:55 pm

    Hi Cathy,

    Yes I’ve just noticed a ‘competitor’ is selling for $97. I don’t want to go that low, happy in the price range I’m in, but I can feel myself just wanting to buy at that price! I’m looking for a number with that much pulling power that’s closer to my price - maybe $157?

76. Comment by David — May 19, 2009 @ 12:56 am

    Hey Clayton,

    I have maybe 400 “good” prospects in my small territory — and another 400 that are usually broke. (I provide high ticket eye-popping software to struggling schools.)

    If you had only 400 solid prospects in a small geographic area (and a decent marketing budget), how would you take advantage of this opportunity? Many thanks!

    David

77. Comment by I.A. — May 19, 2009 @ 12:58 am

    Where do you find top paying clients and how do you reach
    them?

78. Comment by Robert Robinson — May 19, 2009 @ 1:09 am

    Dear Mr. Jim Braun(post # 69)

    Hello, my name is Robert Robinson from Wash,DC.I may not be Mr. Makepeace but I would like to respond to your question.
    1st: I would ask you have you seen the movie The Godfather. A famous line in the movie is “anger clouds your judgement”. You mentioned that you were mad. I say dont be mad. GET rich.

    2nd: You sad sales were up two years straight. Well, I would review what was being done during that time to see if anything is being neglected. I would ask myself have I been connecting with my old clients. I would ask have I recently picked up the phone and called 2 dozen of my old customers and asked them why haven’t they been in lately. I would honestly ask them what could be done to get them to come back in and bring a friend. I would take those answers and use them to seed my next marketing campaign.

    3rd: I would package up introductory offers and sell them to business people to use as gifts for their customers, friends, family members and prospects.

    4th: I would take time to research other salons across the country via the phone, phone books, web sites, newspaper ads and magazine ads tosee what others are doing to drive sales and growth.

    5th: I would create a contest of who has the best tan in different categories su

79. Comment by Robert Robinson — May 19, 2009 @ 1:27 am

    Sorry Mr.Braun,

    My computer jumped and my response was posted before completion. lets continue.

    5th: (continued) such as best tan for body-builders, teachers,chefs,lifeguards,police car salesmen/women and anybody else you think of. You can get sponsors for each event.

    6th:You can hold special stress relief events and tie your services into the solutions for different stress that participants have going on right now in their life. Sell stress relief pampering packages.

    7th: Pay attention to details more. Your post to Mr. Makepeace had typo(s)in it. In today’s market we must all strive to be more thorough with all cash generating activities and all activities must be part of the big picture—-Get money in the bank!!!! Or get a job that pays next to nothing and struggle to make ends meet.

    RR

    Hope I have helped.

80. Pingback by ‘I’ve Been Dying To Ask You This, Clayton’ - ‘The Total Package’ — May 19, 2009 @ 4:10 am

    [...] I’ve Been Dying To Ask You This, Clayton… [...]

81. Comment by Steve Ervin — May 19, 2009 @ 8:32 am

    I am trying to put together a loan modification business. This has been complicated by the media…and the government…making ALL modification business out to be scam artists. Well we are not. There are a HUGE number of people who have saved their homes becasue of the work of legitimate modification companies.

    Our business model is based on the homeowner paying ONLY for services we have performed. This can be preparing a FULL modification package for them to submit to their lender or negotiating a deal for them with their lender. (The homeowner does not pay us a peny for negotiating a deal UNTIL an offer is made by their lender.) We also offer a do-it-yourself kit for the homeowner to put together their own modification package.

    We have a very limited budget to kick this program off.

82. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 19, 2009 @ 9:31 am

    MORE ANSWERS …

    MARK: You think your copy is great when you go to bed and think it sucks when you get back to your desk the next morning?

    Welcome to the club!

    It’s normal, natural, part of the wonderful way your brain works.

    Today, you focus on the copy, improving it and addressing gaps in it, getting the tone just right …

    Tonight, when you go to sleep, your sub-conscious mind goes to work on it, consolidating the gains you’ve made, then making connections to other things you’ve read, seen and heard …

    So tomorrow morning, you go to work and suddenly find tons of ways to improve your next draft.

    Let it happen, man … it’s your brain’s way of helping you make money!

    TODD: How to sell an beneficial product for kids to their parents?

    Well, let’s see … what are most parents’ dominant resident emotions vis-a-vis their children?

    Love … the desire for their kids to excel … the fear that their kids may not measure up … guilt that they’re not doing enough to program their kids for happy, healthy, successful lives …

    Infuse your sales messages that show parents how your sports camps and training will fulfill or assuage those emotions and you’re half-way there!

    RONALD: Can’t order through our shopping cart? Send Martha an email at Feedback@makepeacetotalpackage.com. She’ll hook you up!

    DAN: Yeah. We got caught in the same trap. We dumped 1SC and moved to infusion — and during the transition period, used Constant Contact email delivery service to ask our people to re-opt-in through Infusion.

    I think Pete from my staff also answered the question below … let us know if you need more.

    GAB GOLDENBERG: I’d do the webinar. Create a kick-butt PowerPoint presentation, giving me seven quick, easy things I can do to push my organic traffic through the roof. In the final ten minutes or so, offer your product.

    As far as the product is concerned, it just depends on which way you want to go. If you want to offer a standardized SEO product (same advice for everyone), that’s one thing.

    Personalized coaching is far more valuable. My website is different from everyone else’s. I have unique challenges to overcome. Offer me an SEO audit at a fair price and you’ve got me.

    JOE: How would I create an offer for a product I need to promote?

    Hmmm… well, any offer you create is going to need several elements:

    1. Nominal Price
    2. Discount
    3. Sales Price
    4. Scarcity Element (time deadline or quantity limit)
    5. Premiums
    6. Risk Relief

    I default to half-off offers. Save half by buying now. So the nominal price would be double your sales price and the 50% discount would be equal to your sales price.

    The scarcity element you use can be tied to the product itself or to a premium — whichever works best of your product.

    The best way to ramp up sales for a plain-vanilla product is by adding value with premiums that your competitors don’t or can’t offer and a guarantee that does the same.

    Premiums should offer your prospects as much value as possible. Eschew the “free calculator” trap. Give them information — a report that does something of substantial value for them.

    Hope this helps …

    JEREMY REEVES: How do I format my copy for review by the client? Tell you what: I’ll have my web guys post a link to a word document I actually delivered to a client.

    PETE — you on it?

    MIKE SEILER: How to get a job as my copy cub? Just keep reading THE TOTAL PACKAGE!

    We post our help-wanted listing right here every time we have an opening!

    MANANE: “What To Do When Everything Looks Bleak” is a bit negative for a headline. I’d try rewriting it from a more positive perspective. Get an explicit benefit in there.

    For more ideas (lots of ‘em) search our archives for articles on headlines.

    KIRSTEN PLOTKIN: Sorry I didn’t have time to comment on your manuscript!

    As to pricing, it really depends on your objectives. If you’re looking to make max dollars on each sale, I’d probably keep the price in the $27.77 to $29.97 range.

    If your objective is list building — because you have other products to sell your book buyers — the best price is always free.

    Or, you could do the “best of both worlds” thing: Publish the first chapter (or introduction) online for free, then linking to a sales page that offers the book in its entirety.

    YEAH, JOE RYAN, 30 MILLION SMACKEROONIES. And the health market is still going strong — massive and still growing as tens of millions of baby boomers begin hitting old age.

    Now all you need to do is get a great product and write some killer copy for it!

    MORE ANSWERS BELOW …

83. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 19, 2009 @ 9:52 am

    BARNABY JONES: How to write a subhead for your garage door safety system?

    I’d work with the idea that if every home in America had one of these, hundreds of auto body shops and hospital emergency rooms would go out of business.

    Since few people are aware of the dangers posed by garage doors, you’re going to have to document and dimesionalize it in your deck.

    How many car owners suffer unnecessary repair costs? How much is spent each year to repair card damaged by garage doors? How many broken necks, backs, arms, legs?

    Get the jist?

    TAMMY: Launch tactics simplified? No sweat …

    1. Deliver tremendous value in a free special report, online event, video or podcast.

    2. Ask readers/attendees/listeners to visit your blog to discuss your freebie and to ask questions about it. Use your blog to post daily mini-articles that deliver even more value; either with new articles or by answering posters’ questions.

    3. Plan some stunts — offer a prize for the best video about your freebie for viral effect.

    4. After a couple of weeks building buzz on your blog, announce that the product you created to help blog posters will be released on date-and-time certain.

    5. A few days before your product launch, announce your scarcity element — only XX will be available, for instance — and the opening of your “head of the line” pass, which will let anyone who signs up will get a 60-minute head-start.

    7. The last three or four days before your product release, hammer on product benefits and scarcity. Continue to drive prospects to your “head of the line” list.

    8. The day of your product release, email your file with a final reminder. Then, stay on your blog and provide sales updates. Count down to the final product being sold.

    9. When the last product is sold, take down your sales page and replace it with a page that simply says, “Sorry — you’re TOO LATE! All xx copies of XX are now gone! To add your name to our waiting list, click here. (Creates tremendous credibility for your next launch)

    10. Later, when you can ethically do so, contact your waiting list and give them the opportunity to buy.

    The key is to establish your credibility and advocacy for your prospects by delivering substantial free value up front …

    Build buzz to a fever pitch by continuing to deliver value and ramping up anticipation on your blog and in daily emails …

    Create an absolute deadline and count down to it daily.

    Hope this helps — I have a conference call with Robert Ringer now … I’ll check back in soon as I’m done …

    CLAYTON

84. Comment by Jeff Veesenmeyer — May 19, 2009 @ 11:20 am

    Clayton - You’ve talked about charging royalties for your work. If you are charging a percentage of sales or a fee per response - how do you track the clients response? How do you know if you are getting paid from all response vehicles being used…the web, phone orders,reply mail, etc.?

    Jeff

85. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 19, 2009 @ 12:58 pm

    MO’ ANSWERS …

    MARKEAUX: Quick money? Open an EBay store. You don’t have to mess with a website or e-commerce software. You can find many suppliers who’ll drop-ship your products for you. Then spend your time doing the work to drive prospects to your sales pages on EBay.

    Sorry — wish there was another way; but anyone who tells you that the Web will make you rich, fast is only telling you HALF the truth! You can get rich online. Or, you can make money quickly. You’ll have to pick one or the other.

    DJ: Wow. They’re talking about us in marketing classes? Cool.

    I like your idea; “Create your own, personal stimulus package.”

    What you do, essentially, is help people reclaim money that’s now falling through the cracks or going to the IRS. That’s like giving yourself a healthy raise. Or better yet, like getting a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget.

    I’d create a promotion in which you give away a handful of simple, actionable strategies that put money in your prospects’ pockets right now — impress your prospects with your knowledge and advocacy and they should line up to hire you.

    MICHAEL MEARS: Great video on your site! Great celebrity endorsements. Outstanding medical endorsements. Credibility out the wazzoo. Fantastic emotional engagement, too!

    Folks, THIS is what I’m talking about when I say that the best contribution any entrepreneur can make to society is to change lives for the better.

    Michael is changing lives. Check out http://www.timetoquitdrinking.com and you’ll see!

    As far as your sales page is concerned, I can’t give you a detailed crit in this little blog, but let’s think about your opening for a few minutes …

    As you point out in the video, only two kinds of people are prospects for your product:

    1) Friends and family members whose lives are being adversely affected or even destroyed by an alcoholic’s addiction, and …

    2) Alcoholics — but ONLY those who have come to the realization that they need help and are eager for a solution.

    These two groups have very different resident emotions relating to this subject.

    Family and friends are saddened by the dependence and fearful for the life and health of the alcoholic — and worse; in some cases, terrified at what the drinking is doing to their own families.

    Alcoholics at the moment of decision have very different resident emotions: Self-disgust, shame, guilt.

    Because their resident emotions are so different, these two prospects groups need very different leads that address their emotions. This page attempts to appeal to both and in doing so, loses a lot of power.

    I would have two web pages; one for each type of prospect. On each, I would use my lead and headline to directly address the dominant emotions of the prospects you will drive to it.

    Second, I would make sure that your lead include the names of the celebrities and experts (with qualifications) in the video. If people know that they’re about to hear from Larry Gatlin, Doc Severenson, Mike Ferrell et. al., they’re more likely to watch.

    Because your video is long (20 minutes plus), many of your prospects will miss some of the most convincing components of your message. By creating two videos from this one — the first speaking primarily to alcoholics and the second to the secondary victims — you could end up with much sharper appeals in each.

    Have you considered turning the transcript of the video into a sales page? Include photos of each participant next to his segment? At the very least, include a downloadable PDF of the vid. It really is killer.

    Also: You should have a link on the page that invites me to send this video to a friend. Visitors could just click the link and have an email window open, pre-populated with an invitation to view the video.

    Pick special days — Mothers’ Day, Father’s Day, Valentines Day to invite visitors to send an “e-card” to a loved one who needs to see this. In-between, make it a birthday, anniversary e-card. “Someone who loves you very much wants you to see this video.” Kind of turns your site into an online intervention of sorts.

    Also: Is there one, simple technique in your video that you could teach in three to five minutes? Something you could give away to demonstrate the power of your approach?
    Adding a shorter video might get you greater involvement.

    These are the broad strokes — all I have time for right now, unfortunately — but I’m so intrigued by what you’re doing, I’m going to make it the focus of next Monday’s issue … AND I’m going to offer a $795 prize to the TOTAL PACKAGE readers who give you the best ideas!

    So watch your inbox!

    DAVID SYKES: Could you use affiliates to promote a boutique beach hotel? Maybe — depending on the product and the price. More details, please?

    JIM BRAUM: Sounds like I could spend a day at your store and come home looking 10 years younger!

    Typically, when response to your offers declines (in this case, probably because of the economy), my first instinct would be to offer a more expensive product but with a lower PERCEIVED price.

    In your case, that would probably mean bundling your services into a monthly membership of some kind.

    Another thought — have you considered ramping up your efforts to do group sales? Go to where your best prospects congregate (businesses, schools, clubs, etc) and offer them a package deal.

    More details would help …

    ROBERT LEHRER: This is definitely NOT my area of expertise — but have you exhausted all online sources for partners and/or product agents? Have you approached TV infomercial producers (Billy Mays, et.al.)?

    I’d begin by posting a “sales page” extolling the benefits of your unique reading light, then asking visitors to email you to discuss a franchise. Drive biz-opp traffic to the page through friends, affiliates and if you have the budget, for it, through PPC.

    KIM: Typically, retail prices break at just under the round numbers. $157.77 - NOT $160. $169.97 — NOT $170. I have an article in the archives on this. Len, please post the link below!

    WELL, I’M OUTTA TIME FOR NOW — BE BACK SOON.

    CLAYTON

86. Comment by DaveC — May 19, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

    Having paid attention when you showed us how to attract clients who’ll pay the money we deserve and when you taught us to partner with our clients… I really like your ideas.

    Recently several potential clients have asked if I’m willing to work on spec in exchange for a percentage of the business and/or profits.

    So far two owners of start-ups have said something off-putting -– they want to build businesses in which others do a lot of the work. Not quite MLM or pyramid, yet close enough that I’m uneasy.

    What signs can I look for to tell me a potential client is worth doing business with, or not?

    Thank you very much.

87. Comment by Len — May 19, 2009 @ 2:32 pm

    KIM (#71, #72, and #75): Here’s that link to the article Clayton mentioned: http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/clayton-makepeace/my-shocking-confession.html

    JOHN (#74): Clayton wrote a great article on navigating the body copy minefield — here it is: http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/clayton-makepeace/how-to-navigate-the-body-copy-minefield-without-getting-blown-to-smithereens.html

88. Comment by Len — May 19, 2009 @ 2:39 pm

    KIM: In Issue #202, Clayton wrote …

    [BEGIN QUOTE]

    Seven also has amazing power even if it’s not the first number in a string of numbers – mostly because it feels random.

    If I told you my price was $29.99, you’d automatically assume I’m using the old retailer’s dodge on you – setting my price at just under $30 to make it seem low but still wringing every last penny I can out of you.

    But if my price is $27.77 … or $27.97 … or even $29.77 – you might think, “Wow. This guy really sharpened his pencil to give me the best deal he could!”

    Likewise; if I tell you a premium reveals 30 ways to double your money, you’d be suspicious at the roundness of the number. But if I offer you 7, or 17 or 27 ways, it feels more like a real number: Like that must be all the ways there are and I’m giving you every blessed one of them.

    So as long as you have your swipe file open anyway, try this: See how many times the copywriters who wrote those promotions used the number seven: In headlines … in lists … in premium titles … and in prices.

    Think it happens by accident? Think again! Those sevens are there because they work!

    [END QUOTE]

    I used to see the same thing back when I wrote copy for Littleton Coin Company. The offers with prices ending in “7″ often pulled in the best results — especially in split test — even if the price was higher.

    Hope this helps!
    Len

89. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 19, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

    JOHN: I’ve written about how to write body copy extensively and the articles are available in our archives for free. Try searching them for “body copy.”

    SAL: Specialized advice on marketing to garden centers? That’s a toughie. I’d start by checking out Bob Bly: He has decades of experience in B2B marketing and should have plenty of stuff on his site that you could use.

    DAVID: You only have 400 prospects? I’d call them. Twenty calls a day for 20 days and you’ve contacted every blessed one of them.

    An alternative: Schedule a webinar to demonstrate your software and invite the whole group. Set a deadline for attending. Email them every day and twice on the deadline day. After the webinar, send links to the video to ever name on your file.

    I.A.: Attracting high-paying clients is eminently doable, but too involved to lay out my entire process here. I’d strongly recommend that you grab a copy of The Makepeace Business System. Read all about it here: http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/online-store/makepeace-business-system/

    STEVE ERVIN: Sounds fascinating. My advice: Include your offer and guarantee in your headline and lead. And get some credible third-party experts to endorse your approach.

    JEFF VEESENMEYER: How do I track my clients’ response to make sure I get paid every blessed cent I’m owed?

    First, I ask for the names of other copywriters the client has worked with and ask them about the client’s honesty. I only work with companies I know I can trust.

    I contractually reserve the right to demand an audit of their books at any time.

    If I’m writing direct mail promotions, I ask to get their daily returns reports (they include total number of names mailed) and in some cases, their postage receipts for each mailing.

    I put decoy names on their competitors mailing lists by buying a product from each of them — so if my client mails my copy without paying a royalty I know immediately.

    If I’m selling online, I ask for my own access to the client’s shopping cart.

    And if I get even the slightest whiff of a suspicion that I’m being ripped off, I move on to the next client.

    You don’t screw copywriters very long in this business until you run out of them!

    DAVE C: If you’re uneasy with anything about a client, do yourself a favor; take a pass.

    If you can’t quite bring yourself to turning down the work but are still wary, I’d talk to a lawyer and make sure everything’s on the up and up and that you have a contract that holds you harmless and indemnifies you in case of legal or regulatory action against the client.

    For more on contracts, you might also want to read this: http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/clayton-makepeace/legal-issues-every-marketer-should-know.html

    WELL, LOOKS LIKE I’M ALL CAUGHT UP FOR NOW — I’LL CHECK BACK IN THE AM.

    CHEERS!

    CLAYTON

90. Comment by Tony M. — May 19, 2009 @ 6:23 pm

    Hi Clayton,
    thanks for the awesome value you’re bringing with The Total Package !

    Here’s my question :
    I’ve seen a lot of awesome copywriters (including you) tell people that if they want to get really good at copywriting, they should copy, by hand, great sales letters. So they start to “get it”.

    Where would I go about finding a source for great copy ?

    I mean, copy and sales letters are everywhere, but they don’t carry conversion rates with them. Where can I find a “hall of fame” of sales letters I can start learning from ?
    Any reliable resource to recommend ?

    Thanks again,
    Tony
    a French student of yours

91. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 19, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

    MORE …

    TONY M: You ask which promotions should you copy by hand to get the hang of it? How do you know which promos are successful?

    Two ideas for you — one will get you lots of winning promos slow and one will get them for you fast.

    The first idea is to get your name on plenty of direct mail lists and then watch your mailbox like a hawk. When you notice that you’ve received several copies of a promo, it’s a huge clue that it’s working well. (This does NOT work on the web. It costs $600-plus to mail a direct mail piece, so only the strong survive. The Web, on the other hand is extremely cheap, so lots of people use inferior copy.)

    The second idea is grab a copy of Steal These Secrets (either volume or both) from our online store: http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/online-store/all-products/

    There’s commentary before each sample that tells you how well it worked.

    Cheers, y’all!

92. Comment by Rob — May 20, 2009 @ 1:12 am

    Hello Mr. Makepeace,

    I believe you didnt answer post #43 yet.

93. Comment by I.A. — May 20, 2009 @ 4:05 am

    Dear Clayton,

    Thank you for your answer : )

    I plan to get everything in your store, one by one,
    I already have seven of your products.

    Peacefully,
    I.A.

94. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 20, 2009 @ 8:44 am

    ROBERT ROBERTSON: Sorry, RR — didn’t mean to ignore you!

    You ask what I would do if I were just starting out, looking to earn my first $1,000 and then to replicate that success?

    A few thoughts:

    I started out by learning the copywriting craft. I logged several years “learning by doing” — getting paid to take my lumps and learn my lessons at a direct marketing agency. Since a mastery of marketing strategy and copywriting is essential to direct response success, I’d probably start the same way today.

    With the advent of the Internet, I’d also want to learn everything I could about PPC and SEO strategies. And of course, I would study Product Launch Formula until I could recite it chapter and verse.

    I’d want to be in the info-publishing industry because product costs are extremely low, profit margins extremely high.

    I’d research the market niches that have already demonstrated that they are ready, willing and able to buy information products (health, investing, personal finance, hobbies, etc.).

    Once I believed I was ready, I’d begin by creating at least three products:

    A) A free report/advertorial that delivers great value on whatever niche I selected, then offers my lowest-priced product (”B” below) …

    B) A subscription or continuity editorial product selling for between $99 and $199 per year, and …

    C) A subscription or continuity web-based video/webinar product that sells for much more (price depending on the niche).

    I would then create a series of emails, banners and PPC ads offering my free report … a squeeze page to capture the first names and email addresses of prospects who download it … an email gauntlet designed to persuade non-buyers to buy product “B” above … and later on, a similar gauntlet to sell product “C”.

    I would use every blog, forum and other social media site I could find to begin driving traffic through my squeeze page to my free special report.

    I would attend every conference and trade show where other companies in my niche gather. I would seek out decision-makers at those companies and ask them to promote my free report to their lists, offering them 50% of all revenues generated from each name they sent me.

    Using the money generated by these social networking, affiliate and JV promos, I would then test e-zine sponsorships, PPC, e-lists and other online paid media — again; my messaging would drive prospects through my squeeze page to my free report/advertorial.

    There are all kinds of whistles, bells and stunts you could add, but this would be my basic strategy.

    Hope this helps!

    CLAYTON

95. Comment by Yoav — May 20, 2009 @ 10:32 am

    Hi Clayton,

    I work with a technology company that has an awesome product. You install it on a web server and it runs for a week. After a week it produces a list of simple to implement recommendations that, if implemented speed up the server by a whopping %500.

    And it works every time. Really awesome product.

    Every prospect that actually tries the software buys a site-wide license and laughs when we tell him it’s only 25K.

    But it is almost unbearably hard to get a prospect to try the software. Because…

    1. he needs to take time out of his busy schedule to install it and use the results

    2. He doesn’t trust us enough to install a software we produce on his servers

    3. He doesn’t believe the results we promise so he doesn’t sign up for our trial or clicks on our ads

    My questions are

    1. what appeal would you use in the advertising to get people to come to our site?

    2. How would you go about developing the trust the prospect needs to have in order to just install our software on his server

    3. What marketing channels would you use to approach the prospect (he doesn’t seem to be responding well to adwords).

    Thanks for the amazing opportunity to ask you questions.

    Yoav

    Prospects just don’t believe these results

96. Comment by David Sykes — May 20, 2009 @ 11:36 am

    Dear Clayton,
    You asked for more details re my question about the possibility of using affiliates to promote and get reservations for a small boutique beach hotel.

    It is a 20 room beach hotel in the Caribbean promoted mainly by our own website for the last 12 years, with support from a monthly newsletter (which is opened by about 600 of the 2500 on the list). Almost all our guests book direct, using email or phone and we have a good repeat clientele.

    We find that Expedia and other travel sites are making inroads and while we have the option of joining some of these sites we wonder if our business is suitable for promotion by affiliates, and how to go about it.

    If it is feasible the advantages would include a source of business not used by the competition (as far as I know) and the fact that getting bookings from guests who have seen a content-heavy website compared to the more pared-down sites used by Expedia etc. is more likely to lead to better consumer satisfaction and maintain the great (and therefore valuable) ambiance which we have achieved.

    Clayton’s and other subscribers’ comments welcome.

97. Comment by Michael Mears — May 20, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

    Clayton Makepeace,

    I am most grateful to you for your critique of the timetoquitdrinking site. You were most generous with your time.

    I am taking into consideration each of your suggestions and comments.

    Thank you.
    Michael Mears

98. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 20, 2009 @ 3:55 pm

    MORE ANSWERS …

    YOAV: Since your product has a $25k ticket and very little cost, you can easily afford a traditional two-step marketing strategy using direct mail and the telephone.

    Use a direct mail package to generate leads. Rent a list of IT managers in appropriately sized companies. In your letter, extoll the virtues of your product … give them diagrams to show how it works … and ask them to call for a free personal demonstration. When they call, take them to the web; to your online demonstrator.

    At the same time, email your house prospect list and invite them to a free online event during which you demonstrate the product.

    In terms of boosting your credibility, get your customers to give you testimonials. Ask them to give you details including an estimate how much your product has saved them.

    Also approach acknowledged experts in your industry, send them the software and have them give you testimonials.

    Then use your customer and expert testimonials throughout your direct mail lead-producer, your presentation and in emails to your file.

    It seems that the bottom-line benefit of your product would be cost savings. Right? This product allows users to delay or cancel new server purchases. Correct? If so, that should be the focus of your appeal.

    DAVID SYKES: Have you considered group sales? I can see situations in which a web guru books your hotel for high-dollar meetings with his members. That might be better than a straight referral deal. You could also target folks who do corporate retreats, industry groups, etc.

    On the other hand, yes, I can see this working for affiliates. Offering the affiliate a sales commission and a free week for two at your hotel and I’ll bet you get a lot of attention from them.

    Have you considered doing an online sweepstakes in which the winners get a free week at your hotel? A FREE week for two in the Caribbean would have powerful appeal!

    You might use affiliates, and should also consider PPC, ezine sponsorships and other paid channels to generate traffic to your sweepstakes page.

    You capture all names, giving you a much larger house list to mail your special offers to. You’d also be introducing them to your hotel as you describe the prize.

    Another thought: Approach people with large subscription lists — names they need to renew each year — and offer a free getaway at your hotel to offer to their files in a renewal sweepstakes.

    MICHAEL MEARS: You’re welcome, my friend — watch for Monday’s issue; It’s entirely dedicated to recruiting our entire file of marketers and copywriters to give you their suggestions in return for a $749 gift for the five best critiques.

    Cheers, y’all!

99. Comment by Rob — May 20, 2009 @ 10:40 pm

    Mr. Makepeace,

    Rob Robinson here:

    Thank you very much for your helpful and very detailed answer to my question. I will move forward and keep you updated. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

100. Comment by Barry — May 21, 2009 @ 10:44 pm

     Amazing!

     The detailed answers in post 54 regarding the awesome questions in post 29 are truly priceless!

     Thank you both!

101. Comment by Adam Phillips — May 22, 2009 @ 3:01 am

     Hi Clayton,

     I’m just getting started in helping small companies and startups with their direct response marketing efforts.

     I do this on a part-time basis because as you said … “only go full-time once you are creating winners part-time”, or something along those lines.

     I’m thinking of charging commission based on results, with very few upfront fees.

     This is a VERY SEXY model for cash-strapped startups.

     One of my “clients” is actually paying me 50% net on every sale - but in this instance it’s a high ticket product, and I control the payment mechanism. This makes revenue earnings from my efforts easy to track.

     My question is this:
     In a SERVICE-BASED business (like a martial arts school) where I do not control the payment mechanism, how do you “police” your client to make sure he isn’t understating the results in order to pay less commission?

     Thanks for your time and your knowledge.

     Regards,
     Adam.

102. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 22, 2009 @ 11:48 am

     ANOTHER ANSWER …

     ADAM PHILLIPS: Glad the “commission” model is working for you, Adam!

     You ask how to make sure you get paid when you’re not controlling the payment mechanism.

     Ask your client, “What percentage of your leads do you close now? And, “What’s your average sale on those leads?”

     Let’s say he closes 25% of his leads and his average sale is $100. That means each lead you produce should bring him $25 in sales revenues.

     Then suggest a “first date” campaign in which you generate leads and sell them to him for $12.50.

     After 30 or 60 days, you agree to review the results based on how well your leads convert and their average purchase. Make whatever revisions to your lead cost to bring your compensation to 50% of revenues.

     Could that work for you?

     CLAYTON

103. Comment by Lampros — May 22, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

     Dear Clayton

     First I’d like to thank you for the valuable information I’ve been receiving from the total package for the last 2 years.
     I’m an avid reader from Greece.
     i have also purchased the “steal these secrets” package and i believe it’s invaluable.
     I’m just getting started with my business and I appreciate any help.
     Some details about the business:
     It’s a franchise service business dealing with mattress and upholstery cleaning. The average mattress is unhealthy, contaminated with dust mites.
     Dust mites are little, disgusting creatures that cause allergy related symptoms and other health problems like eczema, itchy red eyes, headaches, asthma etc
     Ι consider myself involved not only in the cleaning business but in the health and well being business as well.
     The concept is relatively new to the Greek market.
     My target customer group are, educated, health conscious, higher -than -average income mothers.

     The mother company is based in US-Florida. In their promotions they use an attention getting headline that intrigues the prospect.
     It’s that: “Are You Sleeping With The Enemy?”

     I personally don’t like headlines that ask questions just to trigger curiosity. I generally prefer headlines about benefits and news, especially those that refer to a specific group of clients.
     Mother company claims that, because we must educate the customer, this form is better.
     I’m confused and I’d need some help.
     What kind of headline is suitable for a service that deals with a problem that prospects are not aware of?

     Lampros

104. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 22, 2009 @ 5:23 pm

     LAMPROS: You’re right — on not one, but two points.

     First, if you try to give prospects a problem they don’t already know they have (mites), you’re going to have a flop on your hands.

     And second, you could address their specific health problem directly — but how do you do that when mites case SO MANY of them?

     Off the top of my head, I see four possible ways to go:

     One, focus your headline the revolutionary breakthrough for curing the most common of the health maladies caused by mites (headaches?) and use your deck and opening copy to expand the circle to include the other problems as well — or …

     Two, experiment with a lead that directly addresses your prospect’s fear and frustration. “What to do when your doctor can’t heal you,” for instance. Or …

     Three, intrigue might work. Chances are, your prospect has spent years and a not-so-small fortune trying to get doctors to solve his health problems. Doctors do it by giving you drugs, because they assume the problem is inside you. But what if the problem isn’t inside you — what if it’s inside your pillow case? Or …

     You might consider a story lead: “How a pink pillowcase cured my 40 hears of headache hell.” Then tell the story of how your hero noticed that when she got a new pillowcase, she noticed that her migraines went away for a while. And how that helped her discover the real cause of her headaches. And how, when she addressed that problem these other chronic problems went away as well.

     I’d probably spend a few days working on each of these leads, then test the best of them against each other.

     Hope this helps!

     CLAYTON

105. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 22, 2009 @ 5:32 pm

     TO EVERYONE:

     Thank you all so much for the kind comments you’ve left on this blog. Knowing we’re helping you makes every hour and every dollar we’ve invested in THE TOTAL PACKAGE worth it — in spades!

     Wendy and I are heading out in the morning to spend some more time at the lake, so this is going to have to be it for this Q&A issue.

     But be sure to check in on Monday to help us help Michael Mears — and you may wind up winning a prize worth $750!

     Cheers, y’all!

     CLAYTON

106. Comment by Clayton Makepeace — May 23, 2009 @ 3:51 am

     ONE FINAL POINT FOR LAMPROS:

     Let’s think about your question this way for a moment …

     You state that your marketing problem is that your product’s key benefit is that it solves a problem people don’t know they have: It eliminates dust mites.

     But that’s not really correct, is it?

     Killing dust mites is NOT your key benefit. It’s what I call a “faux benefit” — merely THE MECHANISM by which your product delivers its true benefit.

     The real benefit your product delivers is freedom from the health problems that dust mites cause.

     While product mechanisms and product features may be interesting, and you may want to include them somewhere in the text to establish product credibility or value, they are NOT benefits and therefore are NOT headline material.

     This is a crucial point for all copywriters: Developing the ability to instantly spot the difference between faux benefits like product features and mechanisms and true product benefits is one of the most valuable skills you could possibly acquire.

     EXAMPLE: Several years ago, we were creating a promotion for a product that eliminates toxins from the colon.

     A copy cub’s headline: “Flush Deadly Toxins Out of Your Colon!”

     My crit: Apply “The Forehead Slap Test.”

     I asked the writer, “Do you think your prospects awake in the middle of the night, sit bolt-upright in bed, slap themselves on the forehead and holler, “Oh, my God! I need to flush deadly toxins out of my colon!?”

     Of course not. But their gas pains and IBS DO keep them awake at night. And they do lose sleep over chronic health problems and cancer due to immune systems that have been ravaged by the toxins in their colons.

     So instead, we created a series of headlines that focused on the product’s real benefits — headlines like those I suggest in my post #104 above — and all of them beat the copy cub’s headline by a mile.

     Cheer’s y’all, see you Monday!

     CLAYTON

107. Comment by Laurie — May 23, 2009 @ 11:29 pm

     Hi Clayton,

     How are you dealing with variable data printing? It seems to bring some pretty interesting opportunities, but a lot of people just can’t wrap their head around it. How could mailing to half as many people bring in the same or better results? It can if it’s that focused! Any thoughts or experiences to offer?

     Thanks!
     Laurie

108. Comment by Gab Goldenberg — May 24, 2009 @ 12:49 pm

     Hi Clayton,

     I commented earlier but it seems that with all the responses you’ve had here, mine somehow got missed. Would you mind taking a look @ #38 and telling me what you think?

     Thanks,
     Gab Goldenberg

     p.s. @Steve - I appreciate the offer, but am going to have to take a pass. I can get more links, which links would drive more traffic, from more relevant sites, in an hour’s time. Thanks anyways! Feel free to email me quick questions you have though.

109. Pingback by ‘Career-Building Advice for Copywriters!’ - ‘The Total Package’ Week in Review — May 25, 2009 @ 12:25 am

     [...] Monday 5/18/09: “I’ve been dying to ask you this, Clayton …” [...]

110. Comment by Elleyne Kase — May 26, 2009 @ 11:30 am

     Dear Clayton,
     Am a graphic designer, book designer, advertising agency expatriot, identity crafter, from long time ….
     Have appreciated your site very much and have been using your tips to work on my own new product line.

     Have just launched a visual, Mind Map note system pair of books for people who want to pass their Life or their Life & Health exam. Also have a ebook online version for people who want to study online.

     Boring subject, but for people who want to pass the exam they are estatic with it, cause people are passing the exam on their first try. Got a call from a regional director around the first of this month. A new associate of his had just called him screaming she was so happy. She had passed the exam on the first try getting a 97% and had just used my book. All his people are doing really well with it.

     Not that many people know about it yet and I need to generate more sales big time. I have big dreams for this as it can be applied to any educational subject. I started with these licenses because so many people across the country go for the exams and the financial industry instructional text is, lets just say, in need of revision.

     Also would like to market myself as someone who can produce info products like this for corporations who need to convey instructions or information quickly. Have done some materials for psychology study and the computer documentation industry (actually that’s how I started).

     Do you, or anyone you know have suggestions for me? Do you know of any corporations that could use my services? The website is, http://www.maxwisepublications.com. The product line is Visual Quick Notes™.

     Thank you for your time considering my product. And bless you for providing that stick-to-your-ribs info food we need to do our marketing.

     Elleyne Kase, Publisher, IA