Go and Sin No More
Dear Business-Builder,
I tell folks I live so far up in the boonies, my Zip code is E-I-E-I-O.
We’re in North Carolina, which was named in honor of England’s King Charles I … about 30 miles west of Asheville, which was named in honor of Governor Samuel Ashe. Asheville is located on the beautiful, curvaceous French Broad river, which I’m pretty sure was named in honor of Brigitte Bardot.
When you think of our hometown, think “Mayberry.” This is the very heart of Appalachia: The land of mountains and moonshine … Bluegrass and the Blue Ridge Parkway … black bears, Baptists and Bubbas.
And when I say “Bubbas” I mean guys with hearts of gold and the reddest red necks anywhere. When rednecks in Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi tell redneck jokes, they’re talking about North Carolina rednecks.
When we first moved here, my #1 problem was making friends among the locals. The Bubbas and Bubbettes were surprisingly standoffish.
At first, I thought we simply had a failure to communicate. And so, I committed myself to learning a new language: “Mountain English.”
I learned, for example, that a “FAR” is a fire … a “TAR” is a tire … a “TIRE” is a tower … and you folks who live overseas are “FARNERS.”
Now, I don’t claim to be a linguist, but I think I was a pretty quick study. Soon, when a local accosted me with a hardy “Heidi,” I knew exactly what he meant. What’s more, I could quickly reply, “Heidi beck – Hire Yew?” (Translation: “Hello, how are you?”)
All I got back were blank stares. Like I had a third eye or a booger in my nose or something.
And so, perplexed with my inability to connect, I began to suspect the locals might just be shy – and the source of their intimidation might be my new BMW 745li – a rich man’s car. So, I promptly traded my Beemer for a pickup truck. A pickup with a 500 horsepower, ten-cylinder Viper engine mind you, but nonetheless, a truck.
The Bubbas still steered clear of me. Unfortunately, the local Barney Fife wasn’t so timid.
See, when a guy has 500 ponies under the hood, he’s gonna speed. (I know: I’ve seen me do it!)
And a couple of weeks ago, the inevitable happened: I got caught pretending State Road 73 was the Autobahn.
“Fair enough,” says I to Officer Fife, “I was speeding, you caught me, I deserve the ticket.”
“No problem,” I assured The Redhead, “I’ll just pay the $250 fine and maybe get a point or two on my license.”
“I am guilty, sir” I confessed to the judge, “and I’m prepared to suffer the consequences.”
“Very well,” says Hizzoner, “the penalty is … you lose your driver’s license for a full year.”
Now, have you ever had your heart, stomach AND your sphincter convulse at exactly the same moment?
Suddenly, this was anything but a “no problem” situation. This was a major event in my life! And suddenly, for the first time, I regretted – DEEPLY regretted – blowing the numbers off that Speed Limit sign.
But as my mind reeled with images of myself unable to ride my Harley, bumming rides to the office and living in taxis on business trips, the judge said something that endeared him to me forever: “ … But since this is your first ticket,” he grinned, “I’m going to reduce this to just the $250 fine.”
In the twinkling of an eye, I went from sheer panic to euphoria. The sun burst through my gloom, the birdies began chirping and I swear I could hear the angels singing. I didn’t know whether to just thank the judge or run up there on the bench and hug him!
In fact, I can honestly say I have only experienced a wave of relief and gratitude that intense on one other occasion in my entire life – in the back seat of my ’57 Chevy in 1968 (don’t worry – we won’t go into that now).
Now, at this point, you’re probably thinking, “What in THE BLOODY HELL does any of this have to do with direct marketing or copywriting?
Quite a lot, it turns out …
The Astonishing Power of Guilt and Absolution
Most of us – and most of our prospects – do things we know we shouldn’t. Or don’t do things we know we should.
And most of us are pretty sure that – sooner or later – we’re probably going to get what we deserve. So we regret our sins and that feeling of regret is called “Guilt.”
Now, guilt as it turns out, is one of the most powerful of all human emotions – and so is the unique kind of euphoria that accompanies forgiveness.
Every prospect you talk to is a walking, talking bundle of guilt.
He feels guilty that he hasn’t always eaten right or exercised …
That he smokes or drinks too much …
That he works too hard or not hard enough …
That he doesn’t provide well enough for his family (conservative guilt) or that he earns “too much” (liberal guilt) …
That he lost family money on a stock he should have researched better … or failed to sock away enough for retirement.
No matter who we’re selling to, these guilty emotions are resident in almost every one of our prospects.
When he thinks about these failings (or when our promotion gently reminds him), his remorse turns to fear and becomes dominant – a driving force capable of moving him to action.
And when a promotion shows him how a product absolves him of his sin and suspends the consequences of his shortcoming – the urge to buy can become almost irresistible.
What Every Mother Knows
At last year’s Power Marketing Summit, we had a session in which a panel of experts offered suggestions for improving attendees’ promotion pieces.
One of the most memorable promos was for a water purifier and I asked the attendees to tell me why anyone would want such a thing in their home.
Several hands shot up …
One logical attendee volunteered, “It removes dangerous chemicals, bacteria and viruses from your water.”
Someone who’s read a book on benefits suggested, “It keeps you healthier?”
And an uber-pragmatist offered, “It’s cheaper than buying bottled water.”
All good answers. But the last answer offered was the best by a long shot …
“Because your children are counting on you to protect them.”
Now I ask you: Have you ever met a mother who didn’t feel she could be – should be – doing better by her kids?
I haven’t! And I’d be willing to bet bucks against bagels that a promo revealing the secret of a mom whose kids never get sick would be an out-of-the-park grand slam.
This week, I finished up the first draft of a promo selling a nutritional supplement that lowers your risk of having a heart attack or stroke – and to write that promotion, I had to read about 4,000 customer testimonials.
My favorite said something like …
“I smoke two packs a day and drink a quart of vodka every two days. I eat lots of red meat and cheese and rich, sugary deserts. I’ve never exercised a day in my life.
“My doctor says I should try to live healthier. I tell him to mind his own business. At 94, I like my lifestyle just the way it is. No way am I going to change.
“So thanks for a product that lets me live the way I want and still keep my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar normal.”
Priceless.
Now that guy doesn’t seem to have an ounce of guilt in his entire body. But most of the folks who use my client’s product do.
It was clear that they viewed his product as a way to get forgiveness for past health sins. And so one of my major headlines touched on that idea, promising to “Dissolve 50 years of artery plaque in 8 weeks or less.”
Notice though, that I never mentioned the fact that my prospect’s high blood pressure, massive cholesterol numbers or diabetes was his own doing. Blaming prospects for self-created problems only ticks them off. Not a particularly good way to make a friend or a sale.
But if you begin by understanding the guilt and fear your prospects feel relative to the benefits your product provides – and then simply offer forgiveness in the form of your product (or premium), you’ve taken a giant step towards making the sale.
Hope this helps …
Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,
Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE
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