Grab Your Prospect by the Eyeballs!
- Three Powerful Ways To Write A Killer Headline …
- Three Easy Ways To Supercharge Any Headline …
- Six-Question “Litmus Test” For Headlines You’re Working On Now …
- PLUS 30 Great Headline Idea-Starters …
Dear Business Builder:
Please excuse the champagne, confetti and funny hats.
We’re celebrating here: I just got the news from a client — and my new promotion just kicked the living daylights out of his control!
No, I can’t say who the client is, what the product is, or even what industry he’s in. But just feast your eyes on these numbers:
- The old control from another writer is pulling in 3.9 new customers per thousand pieces mailed and, after fulfillment, is losing $260/M – a net return on investment (ROI) of just 52.9%.
- My new package is pulling in 9.8 new customers and $430 in profits per thousand pieces mailed – a net return on investment of 169%.
In terms of ROI, my package beat the control by more than three to one.
Can you see why we’re drinking in the middle of the day … on a WORK DAY?
But wait – it gets better …
There are two versions of my new package – and the only difference between them is the headline:
My second headline is pulling in 13.9 orders
and an $800 net profit per thousand pieces mailed –
a net return on investment of 227%!
That’s a 58-percentage-point difference: A 34% lift above my original headline.
Yippee — have another glass of champagne!
That lift will make all the difference in the world for my client: If he mailed 12 million copies of this direct mail package in the next year (a conservative estimate) at these response levels, the second headline would put 49,200 more new customers on his file than the first one …
… And 4.4 MILLION more dollars of clear profit into his pocket!
That’s the stuff that industry-leading companies are made of!
The moral of the story …
Your headline is #1
Don’t get me wrong: Every part of your sales message is important. Your opening is crucial. Your presentation of product benefits … of proof and credibility elements … of the offer and premiums … of your guarantee … and of your closing, “ask-for-the-sale” copy are all critical.
But of all the things you do to produce a sale, nothing equals your headline when it comes to pushing response through the roof.
In my 37 years in this business, I’ve often seen great new headlines produce 25%, 35%, even 45% lifts in response and ROI. And of course, I’ve seen them add months – even a year or more – to the lifespan of an aging control.
Why are heads so important? Two reasons:
FIRST, your headline is the demurely raised eyebrow … the whisper in the ear … the tap on the shoulder … or the shrieking air raid horn (remember those?) that at the moment of impact, make it impossible for your prospect to look at anyone but you – or more precisely, anyone’s ad but yours.
SECOND, your headline is the gateway to your sales copy. More than that: It’s the sales copy that persuades your prospect to read your sales copy.
In short, great headlines have only two functions: 1) To grab your reader’s attention, and 2) To convert that attention to readership of your sales message.
When you study the most effective headlines ever written, you can’t help but notice that each one accomplishes these twin tasks by offering the reader a BRIBE: A compelling practical and/or emotional benefit in exchange for reading your sales message.
Whether explicit or implicit, shouted or whispered, the best heads you’ll ever read – or write – will be a proposed transaction: “Read this,” they say, “and this very specific, very wonderful thing will happen for you.”
The World’s 3 Most Powerful Headline Techniques
There is no “right way” to write a killer head. In fact there are as many headline techniques as there are copywriters, products and services, benefits and consumer emotions to be addressed.
Let’s take a look at three of the most powerful headline techniques ever – approaches that have produced huge winners for John Caples, Gary Bencivenga, Jim Rutz, Bob Hutchinson, Arthur Johnson – and yes, for me, too …
- PURE BENEFIT HEADLINES present only the primary practical benefit offered by the product.
Some examples …
"Who else wants a whiter wash
— with no hard work?"
* * * * *
"Great new discovery kills kitchen odors
quick — makes indoor air “country-fresh.”
* * * * *
"Super Spy Lets You See Through
Walls, Fences, and Locked Doors."
* * * * *
“Who Else Wants to Get At Least
TWO TIMES RICHER
In This Bear Market?”
* * * * *
"What’s Wrong With Getting Richer QUICKER?”
* * * * *
NOTE: Once upon a time, pure benefit headlines were all the rage. They were a huge leap forward from the days when most ads had no headline, or simply touted a product feature.
But today, in our over-advertised-to society, our prospects are being offered identical benefits by dozens, scores, or hundreds of competing advertisers.
Unless the benefit you’re offering is truly unique – or presented in a very unique and intriguing way, you’ll probably need to do more than just present or imply a benefit to win.
Here’s how John Carlton turned a benefit lead into something absolutely unique and made his ad a must-read:
"Amazing Secret Discovered
By One-Legged Golfer Adds 50 Yards
to Your Drives, Eliminates Hooks and Slices … and Can Slash Up to 10 Strokes
From Your Game Almost Overnight."
* * * * *
- PURE EMOTION HEADS directly address the emotional need, frustration or fear that the product’s primary benefit addresses – only hinting at the practical benefit.
Examples …
"Lies, Lies, Lies
We investors are FED UP
with everyone lying to us
and wasting our money!"
* * * * *
"Tell The “Health Police” To Take A Flying Leap –
And Return To Life’s GUILTIEST PLEASURES!"
* * * * *
"You can laugh at money worries —
if you follow this simple plan"
* * * * *
NOTE: Pure emotion leads have always worked very well for me. But ONLY when they are followed immediately with a strong presentation of the benefits you’re promising the prospect in return for reading your copy and (ultimately) buying your product.
- COMBINED BENEFIT/EMOTION HEADS present the product’s chief benefit and either imply or state the emotional pay-off for the reader.
For example …
"They laughed when I sat down at the piano, but when I started to play …"
* * * * *
"Laugh All The Way To The Gas Pump!
How rising gas prices can make you up to 307% richer in 2005"
* * * * *
"To men who want to
Quit Work some day"
* * * * *
"FORBIDDEN CURES!"
"Remarkable Cures CENSORED By Knife-Happy Surgeons
and Greedy Drug Companies:
Medically Proven Remedies That Heal Without Drugs or Surgery!"
* * * * *
"The Amazing Face-Lift-In-a-Jar
Used by Hollywood Stars Who Don’t
Want Plastic Surgery"
* * * * *
Join millions who are saying…
“Thanks For NOTHING, Wall Street — I’d Rather Do It MYSELF!”
"10 Ways To Grow MUCH RICHER Without Touching A SINGLE STOCK"
* * * * *
To me, these kinds of combined benefit/emotion leads are the best of all worlds, and have given me some of the biggest winners of my career.
Four Easy Ways To Supercharge Any Headline
Regardless of whether your headline is pure benefit, pure emotion, or a combination of the two, there are dozens of ways to give it greater selling power.
Here are just four …
1. Present a proposition: Great propositions make a statement that the reader already believes and tantalize him with the implications of that statement.
For example …
"For every illness, there is a country
where it simply doesn’t exist …"
* * * * *
"A Healthier BRAIN Is the Best Doctor Your BODY Will Ever Have!"
"Introducing the single greatest health breakthrough of our generation."
* * * * *
“As soon as you realize that
Wall Street is wrong, wrong, WRONG …
You’ll get rich, rich, RICH!"
* * * * *
2. Propose a transaction: Transaction leads add credibility to your headline benefit by disclosing that you’re asking something from the reader in turn for the promised benefit.
For example …
“Read This Now …
Or Kiss Your Money GOODBYE!”
* * * * *
"If you’ve got 20 minutes a month,
I guarantee to work a financial
miracle in your life!"
* * * * *
"Give me 90 days and I’ll help
you disease-proof your body
and add many good years to your life!"
* * * * *
3. Use specificity to create credibility: Include specific facts that make your headline instantly credible, or connect it to a current news event for credibility.
For example …
"1,384 “ENRONS” Are Now
Racing Towards BANKRUPTCY"
* * * * *
"Shameless Two-Faced S.O.B.s!"
"While urging YOU to buy their shares,
MICROSOFT executives are quietly dumping BILLIONS of dollars-worth of their companies’ stock!"
* * * * *
"Has Greenspan Lost His Mind?"
* * * * *
4. Get the prospect’s natural curiosity working for you: Intrigue and curiosity heads tease the benefit or begin the conversation by telling a fascinating story.
For example …
"How I Made a Fortune With a ‘Fool Idea’"
* * * * *
"How a Bald-Headed Barber Helped
Save My Hair"
* * * * *
"How Doctors Stay Well
While Treating Sick People All Day"
* * * * *
“Weiss Better Shut the F@!# Up
or Get a BODYGUARD.”
* * * * *
"The Great Vitamin Hoax"
* * * * *
"Are you and your doctor making these
common mistakes with your health?"
* * * * *
How can these concepts
help give YOU bigger winners, more often?
Why not try this: Print this article and sit down with a headline you’re working on now. Then, ask yourself these six questions:
- Does your headline offer the reader a reward for reading your sales copy?
- What specifics could you add to make your headline more intriguing and believable?
- Does your headline trigger a strong, actionable emotion the reader already has about the subject at hand?
- Does your headline present a proposition that will instantly get your prospect nodding his or her head?
- Could your headline benefit from the inclusion of a proposed transaction?
- Could you add an element of intrigue to drive the prospect into your opening copy?
Spend 15 minutes on it and I’ll bet you’ll come up with something great!
Until then, here’s wishing you …
Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,
Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE
Looking for resources related to this article? Try some of these.
Looking for more of Clayton's articles? Check these out.
Looking for past issues of The Total Package? Click here for our archives.
8 Comments »
Join the Discussion!
Let us know what you think. Or ask us anything. Or offer your own sage advice.
The only rule: RESPECT THIS HOUSE! Postings that contain abusive language and/or personal attacks will be cheerfully VAPORIZED. One cross word and – POOF! – your well-thought-out post will be gone in a puff of smoke.
– Clayton
Comment by Glen Kohlenberg — June 21, 2010 @ 9:32 am
Thanks for the “Golden Nuggets” Clayton!
Comment by Sean McCool, The Major Mailer Copywriter — June 21, 2010 @ 10:06 am
Good stuff…
Here’s another:
Now! The World’s Greatest Minds Force-Feed Their Knowledge Into Your Brain — Automatically!
Comment by Sandy Barris — June 21, 2010 @ 10:06 am
Great stuff Clayton…
One questions.
After writing a bunch of headlines how do you know which ones to test?
Sandy
Comment by Jaime — June 21, 2010 @ 1:55 pm
This is great information. Thank you!
Comment by Colin — June 21, 2010 @ 6:57 pm
I’m having a dilemma in writing headlines for internet pages. Not to get too techie, but it seems that the search engine traffic comes from the H1 headline.
Whenever I get too creative with the headline, the article seems banished to cyber arctic. I’m going to try using a search engine friendly H1 tag and either use the creative headline in the H2 or H3 spot with different font and colour.
Has anyone had similar experiences or thoughts?
Thanks Clayton. Rest assured this post has been swiped and saved!
Comment by Benextmillionaire — June 22, 2010 @ 8:07 am
This is a great food for a learning copywriter’s mind. I was wondering if including a benefit of your product or service in the headline can make it even more powerful.
Why I say saw is because not unless something beneficial to the reader first appears on the headline will make him or her read the copy.
Clayton, is there any sense on above assumption?
Comment by Jennie Heckel — June 22, 2010 @ 12:09 pm
Dear Clayton,
Ya did it again…
You’re a COPY GOD… NO kidding. I just invested in Harland Kilstein’s Value Based Copywriting DVDs, (I am looking for subliminal copywriting tips) and you know what?
You two are SO SIMILAR, LIKE PEAS IN A POD!
In your thoughts and primary motivations about how to think, live ‘n breathe copy and how to write copy like a pro, and what works and what doesn’t. But best of all, how you can FEEL the EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF YOUR PROSPECT… the old — getting inside the prospect’s head mentality, it’s really incredible…
Wonder how that happened?
Maybe ’cause You are the KING of Copy and Harland says he’s the ‘BEST SWIPER’!. Both of you are at the top of the hill, the BEST killer copywriters, and are the I mean that in a ‘good way’…
On the questions above about seo and articles…
From an old seo guru, here’s a couple of tips I use that work for me that cost me tons of money from StomperNet, with Brad Callen and Andy Jenkins, plus from the school of hard knocks…
SEO for Articles and Sales Copy
1. To be sure you are targeting the best keyword phrase - in Google Adwords Free Keyword tool, make sure you change the search to EXACT match, ’cause it is NORMALLY SET ON BROAD MATCH and those results are NOT what you want, as duh…they are too broad.
2. Then, change the columns to include “PPC Bid Cost” it is NOT the default setting, click the drop down arrow on the right side to change this. Then you will KNOW where the REAL MONEY is.
When you see people paying $1 to $5 a click then don’t use those keyword phrases, they are WAY to competitive.
3. Next, look for keyword phrases in the 5 cents and up to 75 cents range.
4. Now, take the keyword phrase which has between 100 to 3,000 searches per month and put it in Google’s search box in a normal Google browser, in double quotes like this:
“freelance copywriter guide” or whatever the keyword term is.
5. Important point, if you see what the number of competing web pages is, if it is under 25,000 and you SEO the article well, you can easily land on the first page of Google.
I highly recommend EzineArticles.com, just know they are very picky as far as ’self promotion’ but if you get an article through you can stay on the first page of Google for YEARS! (Plus ezine articles feeds many other article directories.)
I wrote a “mass health insurance’ article that is STILL on the first page of Google, 3 years after I wrote it! That is an extremely competitive niche, since it is for massachusettes health insurance. The trick? It gives away a FREE guide on “How to Buy Health Insurance”. That’s the kicker, give away a free anything that is downloadable in a signature file and Google will keep your article on the first page for a long, long time.
Of course the signature file links to the health insurance website…and you’ll get lots of free traffic that way.
For the SEO of an SALES Letter here’s what I do.
1. prehead - must have the keyword phrase you are targeting the closer the keyword phrase is to the start of the prehead the better you will rank.
2. headline - use the exact keyword phrase in the headline
3. subhead - use a derivative of the keyword phrase in the subheads and in the minor heads in the first 3 subheads in the copy, works like a charm. AND IN THE SENETENCE OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. Google indexes goofy sometimes and on a long sales letter will not always index the whole thing so if you leave your best keywords to the end, it won’t rank well in the beginning, but might later, so think on this when writing.
I do this all the time, and create sales letters that rank on Google for the first page and stay there.
Just do your research right and think about what someone would type in when searching for a ‘buy phrase or order phrase’. Look for people that are in the buying mood not browse mood.
Like ‘Looking to become a highly paid copywriter and searching for a six figure copywriting course?’ or similar works better for the prehead… (I don’t like questions in the prehead, but you get the idea.)
headline - Just Released Clayton Makepeace’s 6 Figure Copywriting Course Now You Can Work From Home in your P.J.s!
subhead - Yes, YOU can beome a high paid six figure copywriter! Imagine the pleasure you’ll feel when you buy the course and can get started working from home!
Clayton’s copywriting courses have launched more six figure copywriting careers than any other! (Or similar…that is overdoing the seo but you see what I mean….)
Notice how I used several different versions of the main keyword?
That’s all it takes!
Good luck with your seo and writing projects, I gotta get back to writing…
But figured I take a ton of info from this site and love giving a little back when I can.
Clayton, keep on writin’, I love reading your stuff!
Jennie Heckel
Wisconin Clayton Copy Admirer
Comment by George Miller — July 13, 2010 @ 11:57 am
Thanks loads, Clayton… You ‘da man, bar none.
Question on headline font size and color… Does too big or too colorful make you look too hungry? I may be trying to appear too “professional” with my 18pt black home page headline to satisfy what I think (maybe wrongly) will impress the corporate types in my local Central Florida market… George Miller