The Eye of the Tiger
Dear Business-Builder,
My dad was old-school all the way. As a male chauvinist of epic proportions, he firmly believed that men were created to give orders and that women and children were created to take them.
And because Mom was an old-fashioned gal, she was pretty much OK with that.
And by “pretty much,” I really mean, “NOT AT ALL.”
Sure — she’d follow Dad’s lead so long as she agreed with him. When she didn’t agree, Mom used what she called “psychology” on him, exercising copious amounts of persuasion and a fair share of stealth tactics to get her way.
And every once-in-a-while, when all else failed, she’d get “that look” in her eye. There would be a certain inflection in her voice and a set to her jaw that made it clear to everyone — Dad included — who was really in charge. (What can I say? She was a redhead!)
I called that look “The Eye of The Tiger” — and whenever I saw it, I knew I was just one false move away from seeing a mild-mannered, middle-aged minister’s wife go ninja on my ass.
And I will be forever grateful that I inherited that look — or at least the attitude that goes along with it — from dear old Mom.
Because that mind-set has made me a ton of money over the years — especially after I’ve been punked in a heads-up test against another writer.
While others may sulk or question their talent after being told their sales copy has been beaten, I just get that set to my jaw, that tone in my voice and that look in my eye that says, “No way am I going to let this stand!”
It happened just last week …
Now, no excuses, but I generally have about one day to write a sales page — not much time, considering each one is the equivalent of 14 to 24 pages in a Word document. But I usually have no choice: I have to be fast on my feet; my financial client often changes product or offer strategy on me several times each week.
Nevertheless, last week, we had a rare opportunity to test sales copy that a team of outside writers had created — and that I’m sure took much longer to write — against one of my 24-hour wonders.
I got punked. I mean spanked. Real bad. The other guys’ copy generated nearly two dollars in revenues for every one dollar my copy raked in.
It was humiliating. But instead of getting defensive or sulking, I got “the eye of the tiger.” Come Hell or high water, I was going to return the favor — produce a promotion that left the challenger in the dust — or die trying.
So, I settled down and studied the new copy to try to figure out why it worked so well and quickly found lots of reasons. For one, it gleefully violated several iron-clad rules the client had placed on my copy. For another, it did a better job of dealing with objections our prospects probably had than my copy did. And for another, it did a better job of parsing my client’s track record than I had done in my copy.
So I cleared the decks and spent a good four hours rewriting my sales page in ways I believed did all these things better. I would have liked to have had at least a full day, but we had to send the e-mail that afternoon so we could split test my new copy against the challenger.
Result: My new copy produced 50% more revenue than the challenger and 2.7 times greater revenue than my old copy had generated.
Now, I could have settled for that vindication and moved on to other projects. But I’m not used to being beaten; I couldn’t leave it alone.
So the next day, I tweaked my new copy a bit more and we ran a second split test — and lo and behold, my copy produced three times greater response than the challenger and more than SIX TIMES more money than my old copy had.
At that point, the client and I figured that further split tests against the challenger’s copy were unnecessary. But still, I was just getting warmed up; I spent a full day to create a second version of my own copy to test against our new control.
I just put the finishing touches on that new test panel copy this morning – I’ll let you know how it does next week.
So what’s the moral of the story? I count three …
Moral #1: Everybody gets punked. If it happens to me after 37 years of doing this, it’ll happen to you, too.
When you’re writing for the same product for months at a time — and making millions for the client every month — it’s easy to get into a rut; to fall back on tried and true strategies and tactics and to sleepwalk through certain essential parts of the project.
Going the extra mile; taking the extra time to think through each critical part of your project — no matter how many times you’ve written about the product at hand — is the ONLY way to make sure that never happens.
Moral #2: Stay curious. While some writers struggle with insecurity, others are plagued by overconfidence. They do their best and then have so much confidence in their work that they fail to learn from work done by others.
See, when you read a promotion written by somebody else, you can approach it in one of three ways:
You can approach it in awe, feeling intimidated by the reputation of the writer or the sales campaign.
You can approach it with disdain — assuming that since you didn’t write it, it must be second-rate.
Or, you can approach it with an open mind, ready, willing and eager to learn anything you can from it.
I strongly suggest that the third approach is the only rational way to go.
Moral #3: Getting beat is what you make of it. Losing in a test is a neutral event. It’s what you do with that defeat that matters.
If you accept your defeat as confirmation of your incompetence and give up, it’s a failure. But if you develop the eye of the tiger — USE the defeat to learn everything you can, then come back with something better, you can snatch triumph from the jaws of humiliation.
And the money ain’t bad, either. Thanks to this little exercise, my royalties will be six times more than they would have been if I hadn’t been shaken out of my cocky complacency!
Hope this helps …
Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,
Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE
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36 Comments »
Join the Discussion!
Let us know what you think. Or ask us anything. Or offer your own sage advice.
The only rule: RESPECT THIS HOUSE! Postings that contain abusive language and/or personal attacks will be cheerfully VAPORIZED. One cross word and – POOF! – your well-thought-out post will be gone in a puff of smoke.
– Clayton
Comment by Aaron — December 1, 2008 @ 5:27 pm
Hey Clayton… In the past, I’v had the privilege of being a member of your "Easy Writers/Screaming Eagle" club. On the live webinars, I have listened in as you took a listeners written question - that was (in my mind) an unkind challenge towards you - and you gently and compassionately addressed that person with a tenderness of voice that both diffused the situation as well as earned my deepest respect. The other thing that amazes me is your transparency. This post is a perfect example. Credit your "seasoning" on your Christian upbringing, on your lovely wife’s calming influence on you, or by way of living and learning… I want you to know you have a fan in Alabama. I do have a request, if I may: Can you provide before and after examples of this campaign? Also… can you provide the copy from the competitor as well? This would be a wonderful way to learn! Thanks for everything, Clayton. Aaron
Comment by Chris Lake — December 1, 2008 @ 5:46 pm
Thanks for showing us the wizard behind the curtain… those bigger winners, more often, don’t just come from thin air. Healthy competition is good for everyone — but it helps to have the never-say-die attitude going into the battle.
Chris Lake
Comment by Marcelino Latorre — December 1, 2008 @ 5:49 pm
Wow, there is something so graceful about this post Clayton.. I admire your leadership abilities now more than ever. You will always be the best in my eyes boss. Marcelino
Comment by Clayton Makepeace — December 1, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
You guys are too kind.
Aaron, I considered showing all three pages, as I know that would be extremely helpful — but decided against it.
The guys who wrote the competing piece are friends of mine and they have my deepest respect as copywriting professionals. Showing the copy would enable readers to figure out who they are — and in this context, that wouldn’t be fair to them.
Hope you understand …
Clayton
Comment by Bob Hutchinson — December 1, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Clayton,
Great post! As someone who has had my fair share of failures as well as of successes, I can honestly say I learn more from the failures.
Your story also shows the wisdom of your partnering strategy and philosophy: It was only because of the close relationship you had with your financial client that you were able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take some more turns at bat. As a freelancer, you would have simply lost the control… and that would have been that.
I, too, have made most of my money as a partner, not as a hired gun. It "incentivizes" you, as you like to say, to really study your failures and learn from them.
Anyway, thanks again for the willingness to share your strike-outs (or at least base hits) as well as the home runs!
Bob
Comment by Susan — December 1, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
What an awesome post. It’s not often that successful people own up to being whacked but it’s great inspiration for the rest of those wanting to follow in your footsteps.
And let’s face it - if the only thing needed to be successful is to pick yourself up one more time than you fall down, then picking yourself up even when you haven’t fallen must be tantamount to flying without wings.
Way to go Clayton. And thanks for sharing.
Susan
Comment by Carrie Pierce — December 1, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
Thanks for the timely reminder Clayton…
given all the bad news of late and the accompanying financial stressors we are all facing, your words have proven most timely and helpful indeed- and are NOT limited to just the realm of copywriting!
You’ve reminded this redhead of the very old-very wise adage ‘When the going gets tough-the Tough get going…’
Thanks Clayton. I needed that!
Comment by Mike — December 1, 2008 @ 6:27 pm
6x greater response was just laying there, unseen, but you found it. That’s really cool.
Comment by John — December 1, 2008 @ 6:35 pm
To the man. . . who is hooked on redheads.
I totally agree with Aaron’s idea of posting the copy. It would be a tremendous learning experience for many who dared to study and disect them which is hard work.
It’s a wonder to me that your so called "friends" would try to knock out your control. With friends like that. . . who needs enemies.
Would you ever do a "disectional" on this blog? Share your thoughts and tactics with each part of a control.
Or you could do an autopsy on an old, successful control that has died.
P.S. Thanks for the great blog. Did you know it provides good social support for those of us John Carlton calls rookies.
Comment by RalphC — December 1, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
Thanks for allowing us inside. Any way to see just your versions (not the competitors) to see how you improve copy? Understand if not but laying just yours side by side would be cool.
Thanks, Clayton.
Comment by Kammy Thurman — December 1, 2008 @ 7:05 pm
Thanks for being transparent and humble. The web is rife with gurus touting grand slam after grand slam, but nary a word be spoke about the times they’ve gotten "punked" in between. Thanks for being real. Thanks for showing us that a large part of getting bigger winners more often is to simply pick yourself up…brush yourself off…and come back a swingin’.
Comment by Bob McCarthy — December 1, 2008 @ 7:32 pm
Great post, Clayton
I too would love to see the samples. How about just your versions of the changed portions - your original copy and your rewrites?
But I’m most impressed with your "sales page" of 14-24 pages each - written in 24 hours. I’d like to hear more about that - and any suggestions you might have to be that productive.
Thanks again.
Bob
Comment by Katie Langston — December 1, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
Clayton,
I LOVE this post! I echo what others have said; it would be incredibly enlightening to see the examples…but your "eye of the tiger" analogy is exactly what I needed to hear today.
One of the most profound business lessons I’ve ever learned is to relish failure as opposed to fearing it. Get that "eye of the tiger" attitude and fix whatever went wrong and you’ll succeed much faster. Thanks for the great reminder.
Comment by Anita Ashland — December 1, 2008 @ 9:28 pm
24 hours to write a sales letter! Amazing. I hope my clients don’t read this.
Comment by Carroll — December 1, 2008 @ 10:38 pm
Thanks for showing us how to hold a winning attitude, Clayton. That’s a prerequisite to success in every field.
In my book you’re first and foremost a great human being, which probably contributes a lot to being a great copywriter.
I know lots of readers want to see samples of the copy… what I’d like to see is a photo of your "eye of the tiger" look
Cheers!
Comment by Jayney — December 2, 2008 @ 5:54 am
I’m a firey red-head from Olde England . . .Rarely am I driven to post on a blog - however, I have to say that this is inspirational. You come across as a really genuine and lovely man Clayton - furthermore, I sense that you actually care about others. Thanks so very much for the work that you do. I also wanted to thank you for the piece I read on your blog about your response when someone personally attacked you - having been through a similar thing (in an entirely different field), I cannot tell you how much it helped me after you deconstructed the motivation behind people’s need to attack. You are giving us so much more than mere copy-writing help - this is life changing stuff. Enough with the adulation and back to work.
Comment by Caleb Osborne — December 2, 2008 @ 9:50 am
Clayton!
I’d say your eye of the tiger would give Rocky (or your moms!) a run for their money any day of the week.
That IS a never-say-die attitude totally responsible for making a high school dropout like you into the pile o’ success he is today.
Hats off to ya big guy — keep killing em’
Later
Caleb
Comment by Ken Ca|houn — December 2, 2008 @ 10:37 am
Thanks for sharing the anecdote, Clayton — what’s great to see is your persistence and tenacity in figuring out *how* to beat the other teams’ control… a key ingredient to success, the hunger to outdo one’s best, and to deal with losses gracefully and professionally; bouncing back and going for another winner, more often. Nice job.
-ken
Comment by Harun Bahri — December 2, 2008 @ 11:01 am
HERE’S HOW TO CRAWL INSIDE CLAYTON’S HEAD
Okay, I’m slightly biased with what I’m about to say as not only do I love the way Clayton teaches, but I also work for him.
But for those who don’t work for Clayton and who still want to crawl inside of his head and grab a front row seat to watch him dissect and rework a few sales letters (a PRICELESS experience) — then I strongly recommend you grab a copy of Clayton’s "How to Challenge a Strong Control and KICK IT TO THE CURB!"
Clayton is much too modest to say it, but in my opinion, it’s one of THE best products he’s put together.
Basically, you get to sit there and watch as Clayton tears 5 sales letters to shreds and puts them back together again.
You’ll be blown away and learn a ton of great techniques that will easily make you a much better copywriter.
You can get a copy of it here:
http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/online-store/challenge-a-strong-control-and-kick-it-to-the-curb/
Hope that helps.
Harun Bahri
Copywriter
Response Ink
Comment by Clayton Makepeace — December 2, 2008 @ 11:03 am
UPDATE!
We’re going to continue testing my newest test cell against my new control for the rest of this week, but yesterday, my newest version beat my previous best by eight to one!
And OK … you talked me into it. I’ll have a link to my original copy and my latest test panel here soon …
Cheers, y’all!
Comment by Clayton Makepeace — December 2, 2008 @ 11:38 am
Here’s the PDF:
http://makepeacetotalpackage.com.s3.amazonaws.com/WCOCampaignComparison.pdf
Comment by Susan Connors — December 2, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Hi Clayton
Read your article yesterday - excellent thank you!
Downloaded PDF today will examine it as well.
Being beaten is part of life - how re reacte to it - therein lies the difference.
When I get beaten, I look at ok what can I do make this better?
How can I improve on my work? Ok, this possibly did stink - how do I make it smell of sweet - not sickly sweet, perfume? How to attract not repell - keep the prospect.
Anyways there is always room for improvement in my work.
All the best from this morning in Aus
Sue in Aus
http://www.marketingforlife.com.au
Comment by Roy Everitt — December 2, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
This is one free report I WILL be reading (unlike the other 200 I’ve got on my hard drive :))
We can never know too much to learn something new…
Roy
Comment by Lara — December 2, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
Clayton you are the greatest! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I’m going to read and reread your letter. Again many thanks.
Comment by JANICE TRUPPE — December 2, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
I THINK HAVING THE EXAMPLES OR IF NOT THE ORIGINAL EXAMPLES SIMILAR ONES SO WE CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE TELLING US THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE IS NOT QUITE THE SAME
Comment by Marie-Louise — December 2, 2008 @ 4:41 pm
Dear Clayton,
Thankyou so so much for sharing this experience… it’s inspiring to know that someone of your expertise still has this type of experience and that you deal with it in the graceful and yet fiesty way you do. Thankyou.
You mentioned you were under some restrictions from your client about what you could write… what changed? The first letter seemed to be aimed at eliciting a fear-based response while your new ones are far more personal and seemed to be aimed at eliciting a greed-based response.
Thank you and your gorgeous redhead for providing an ongoing copywriting and marketing education!
Best wishes,
M-L.
Comment by Bob Hutchinson — December 2, 2008 @ 4:58 pm
Well, just glancing through the two versions, I can say it is a triumph of copywriting… AND… of lawyering.
The fact is, many copywriters are held back by what their clients’ LAWYERS will let them say.
I have clients whose lawyers would have a screaming fit if the word "guarantee" is used ANYWHERE in the copy, with or without an asterisk. Others insist that no track record can be used at all unless every trade a guru made… in his entire LIFE… is disclosed. Still others disallow testimonials without the inane disclaimer that the person giving the testimonial is only testifying to his satisfaction at the time of giving the testimonial — and his opinion could have changed.
Still, you can sure see how you turned up the voltage, Clayton!
Comment by Jules — December 2, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
So you’re saying that in about two days, you produced, sent and got measurable results from no less than six sales letters sent out (your three and the other guys’ letter sent three times against yours).
Any sales letter that can produce results and revenues that quickly is either offering one heck of a sweet deal or some kind of miracle-performing product.
By the way, the link that brought me here promised Clayton’s two sales letters, the first "bad" one and the subsequent "good" one. Where are they?
Comment by Aaron — December 2, 2008 @ 5:28 pm
Clayton, Blessed man! What you’ve provided will be dissected over and over again looking for the clues and reasons why your copy keeps getting better and better with each version. How about a contest to your readers? Now that you’ve provided the copy examples, what do you say about having your readers come back to this post and state their observations as to why each version pulled better? Keeps the thread alive and give us wannabes a chance to sharpen our skills and potentially learn from others observations. How about the declared winner gets a copy of your "How to Challenge a Strong Control and KICK IT TO THE CURB!" that Huran Bahri spoke of in comment #19? I know, I know… how awfully nice of me to be so generous with your product! ;-) The real winners are those that participate in the exercise. Thank you, Clayton, for this wonderful copy example! Aaron
Comment by Clayton Makepeace — December 2, 2008 @ 6:08 pm
Jules, the link to the PDF is in my post #21 above.
Here it is again: http://makepeacetotalpackage.com.s3.amazonaws.com/WCOCampaignComparison.pdf
Also: The tests have stretched out over about a week and a half now. Daily blasts to nearly 500,000 total prospects each day, split down the middle. The two days were days spent writing. NOT testing.
Cheers!
Comment by Scott — December 2, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
Thanks dude. You’re more better than the other ones are!
Comment by Mike — December 2, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
Downloaded the PDF, can’t wait to read it. 8x the response!! That’s ridiculous…you were such an underachiever
— like me. You give me hope.Thanks.
Comment by Bernie — December 2, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
I guess when you have been writing financial packages as long as you have, a 12 hour promo is no big deal. Truly inspirational. I was wondering how you have time to do so much.
Bernie
Comment by MAURICE LAROSE — December 3, 2008 @ 5:40 am
I am intereted to join, but need a website of my own, in order to prospect all ruling matters very positively. Thanks for your help
MAURICE LAROSE
Comment by Bob Heiney — December 5, 2008 @ 6:29 pm
Good Lord - sign me up! I’m sold…
This copy reaches right off the page and drags you in.
Awesome writing - productive campaign.
That’s what it’s all about.
Comment by Ryan Fletcher — April 17, 2009 @ 4:34 pm
As the guy who wrote the competing package. It’s quite an honor to have someone, like Clayton Makepeace, recognize your work by saying “I got punked. I mean spanked. real bad…”
Don’t take this the wrong way. I have a great deal of respect for Clayton. And as a guy who’s just starting to make a name for himself in this business — that’s pretty cool.
But what would be really neat is, if… Clayton would would show you my sales copy, in addition to the several revisions he posted above.
That way you could compare the important changes side-by-side… I think you’d get a lot out of it.
Clayton, again, thanks for the acknowledgement.
Ryan Fletcher