Posted by: Clayton Makepeace
September 1, 2008
Issue #493

The Hangover Prayer

Dear Business-Builder,

Are you having a great Labor Day weekend?  Sure hope so!

Man — can you believe how fast summer zipped by?  Seems like only yesterday, I was celebrating the appearance of the first buds on our giant tulip poplar trees.  Now, those leaves are beginning to turn.

So here we are, planning a party to watch the first games of the regular football season just one week from yesterday.  Amazing.

Now, if you’re doing your job right, you’re not reading this.  You’re swilling beer, chowing down on burgers and beans and embarrassing yourself in front of your closest friends and family. 

Of course, you could be a workaholic like me — or simply taking a break from the festivities to check your e-mail.  And if that’s the case, I owe you an issue.  So here goes …

Back in the old days — when 99% of my business was creating direct mail promotions — it was a well-known fact that there are two crucial “hot points” for marketing every year:  January and September.

Why?  Well, because these two months signal watershed events in our prospects’ lives.

In January, we’ve just endured the holidays.  We ate too much, drank too much, gained too much weight and did too little work.

In September, we’d just survived the summer.  We ate too much, drank too much, gained too much weight and did too little work.

So on these two dates, we feel guilty, fatter, poorer — and more than a little panicked that our lives deviated from the mean — than at any other time of the year. 

And so, beginning bright and early on January 2 and September 2 as our heads begin to clear, we observe our semi-annual penitence:  A time for agonizing reappraisals of our priorities.  A time for resolutions.  A time to reapply our proboscises to the proverbial grindstone.

You know what?  Nothing has changed.  Because human nature never changes.

Ever hear of The Hangover Prayer?  Most of us have used it.  First you kneel (usually in front of a porcelain alter), close your eyes, and tug on The Almighty’s robe:  “Dear God,” you intone, “please, please, please don’t let me die.  I promise I’ll never, EVER drink again.”

“Oh — and this time, I mean it!”

I’ve often thought that, because of the sheer volume of praying that occurs on those two days — January 2 and tomorrow — they should be declared official religious holidays.  I mean; why not?  Almost nobody shows up for work anyway!

At any rate, since tomorrow marks the beginning of a period of renewed labor and intensity, millions of our prospects will be looking for products and services to help them actually deliver on their resolutions this time around.

So expect more ads for Weight Watchers and NutriSystem on TV … more health and wealth promotions in your mail box … and more promos for self-help products of all stripes in your inbox.

Also, you may want to mark your calendar:  The next big opportunity to sell the heck out of your self-help products comes in just 122 days.

But that’s not what I’m really writing out, here.  I’m thinking about the resolutions I’m going to be making tomorrow. 

• To shed a ton of weight and get back in shape. 
• To launch a new consumer product online every six weeks — eight in the next year. 
• To constantly improve the quality and quantity of help we offer you here in The Total Package and to make it the best subscription you never paid for.
• Most importantly, to spend more time with the two greatest kids on the planet.  And to do my darndest to make sure that The Redhead is the happiest married lady in the galaxy.

But that’s just the “what.”
Now, it’s time for the tough part:  “HOW?”

See, this is where most resolutions fall apart.  We all know what we should do and beyond that, what we need to do to turn our dreams into reality.  It’s crafting an action plan — and then sticking to it — that flummoxes us.

Now, I’m not going to try to tell you I’m the most disciplined guy you’ll ever meet.  If I did, The Redhead and all our employees and friends would probably jump on this blog and make me into a laughingstock.

Truth is, I’m probably the least disciplined guy I know.  I love to procrastinate.  Giving myself the day off is one of the great joys of my life.  So if any of my resolutions have a prayer of lasting more than a nanosecond, I know I’ll need three things:

1. A clear vision of what I want my life to be like on January 2, 2009 …
2. A detailed daily or even hourly action plan that ensures that I do everything required to get there, and …
3. People to keep me accountable along the way.

Of course, reams have been written by self-help gurus about #1 and #2 above.

Item #1 is simply positive thinking … keeping your vision before you … and making it as tangible as possible in your mind. 

And we’ve all heard — ad nauseam — that the tactical part, item #2 above is crucial because the Devil really is in the details.

But you know what?  Giving ourselves excuses for our failure to carry though — justifying our lack of discipline — is the killer.

So we all need a nag.

Someone who knows us as well as we know ourselves … who can see through our excuses … and who doesn’t mind (better yet, delights in) providing the swift kick in the keester we need to get back on track.

And we also need help from people who aren’t quite as close — strangers, even. 

I’ve heard that Weight Watchers is far more effective at helping folks lose weight than any other diet plan out there.  And for me, that has proved true.

Why?  Because every Thursday at 5:30, I knew I’d hear a total stranger say, “OK — so jump up on the scale and let’s see how you did.”

And every week, the number that stranger would give me blew away every rationalization, every excuse, every little indulgence I thought I’d gotten away with right out of the water.

In that one moment, rationalization I’d indulged in was exposed for what it was: Mental monkey-spanking; pure and simple.

So priority #1 is to find people who’ll nail me when I screw up.

Next, someone who’s job it is to notice when I do things right.

Like Martha-the-customer-care babe, for instance.  I once told her, “Your new job is to notice when I lose weight and to say so.”

Next day, I had an e-mail:  “You look so skinny,” Martha said, “It looks like a whole family of Gypsies just moved out of the seat of your pants.”

I beamed.

That’s my plan — what’s yours?

What are your goals for the next 122 days?  Where do you want to be on January 2, 2009?

What do you need to do to get there?

Who’s going to help keep you honest as you work towards your goal?

Share your ideas with us — and maybe pick up some helpful ideas in the blog below…

Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,

Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE

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12 Comments »

1. Comment by Joey Atlas — September 1, 2008 @ 11:12 am

   Beautiful timing on this Clayton….

   We’ll be launching a fat-loss/diet product and coaching program to ring in the New Year - and it’s gonna be a big winner - for us and the clients who ‘get on the program’… Nothing else out there like it…

   I owe some of this to what I’ve learned here and in the UDCC…

   OK - gotta get back to my burgers and beer…

   Joey Atlas

2. Comment by Clarke Echols (resident scientist and all-around rabble-rouser) — September 1, 2008 @ 1:46 pm

   I thought I was the only lazy, workaholic procrastinator.

   I solved the problem of broken resolutions: I resolved years ago to never make them anymore. So far I’ve kept it.

   I agree — it’s a lot tougher to keep moving when you know you should but don’t have someone with sharp pointed shoes giving you a good boot in the seat of the pants every time you slack off.

   I have an 8000 square foot home I built, all to myself. [My wife lives in the other house about a mile away. It's small and after raising nine kids, she needs a little space to call her own without me intruding (it's called career burnout). Many say she raised ten kids, counting me -- plus some grandkids and others. No, a divorce is not in the picture, but I'm letting her have a life while I recover from the hundreds of thousands of dollars I lost thanks to the scoundrels at Paine Weber in NY who helped me demolish my retirement fund by putting out false recommendations (the SEC fined them $200M for investor fraud but that goes to pay for Pelosi's fancy plane trips selling her new book). Oh well, I'll let the Great Creator balance the books when they're dead and gone from this life.

   I was told a couple of days ago by a friend that he'd sued Paine Weber and won. But the lawyer got it all and he was left with nothing.

   But I LIKE this new candidate for VP from Alaska. I have a friend whose parents know her well. The next few months are going to be very interesting.]

   Back to the house:

   I have set up three rooms/areas as offices. One where the computers are and I do my writing and website development work. Another where I have my AWAI courses and The Ultimate Desktop Copy Coach (what a TOME!) And dad-gum-it, Clayton, you spelled my name wrong on the autograph…
   And the third for “other stuff”.

   By keeping the work in front of me so I see it every time I walk by, it makes it easier to sit down and work on what I need to do with convenience, and I don’t have to put it away and get it out all the time, so it doesn’t get lost on the bookshelf.

   No holiday for this kid. Got work to do so I can pay the bills … while I keep improving along the way and get the business rolling. It’s getting better. Get the mortgage paid off in the next 3-5 years, then things will be a lot easier.

   Thanks for your daily “kick in the keester” through The Total Package as well as encouragement from Daniel Levis and Bob Bly who are real gentlemen, along with the others who frequent this hangout.

   Clarke

3. Comment by Robert Harrison — September 1, 2008 @ 1:54 pm

   Clayton,

   Great post…but one caution (don’t ever use an employee to hold you accountable to ANYTHING when you’re the boss)… just a little conflict.

   How about getting a COACH who is a master at NLP, Hypnosis, and Behavioral CHANGE to kick your ass on the phone twice a month and leverage you into EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING…

   Check out the woman on my website who lost 50 lbs in  6 months and actually enjoyed the process.

   Also, studies show that when you set up your enviornment so that you can naturally thrive you’re more likely to succeed.  For example, I’ve gone on several 10 day silent mediation retreats over the years and lost 10 lbs EVERY TIME… because you can’t eat after 12pm and there is no food ANYWHERE.  So it’s easy to do.  Yet, I always put it back on when I leave.

   One ‘trick’ is to set up your enviornment where there are multiple points of pressure (at just the right amount) waiting for you around every corner and then keeping the process FUN.

   This is just one of the ways a good ‘Coach’ or someone who knows what they are doing and is not on the ‘payroll’ can really help.

   Enjoy,

   -Robert Harrison
   http://www.BayHypnosis.com

   PS - Want to see a crazy experiment go awry… check out http://www.1HourAllergyCure.com and watch me transform a service business into a $147,000.00+ product launch (or fall flat on my face).  Any marketers want to help with the process and make some money just let me know.  I know, small potatoes for a lot of you but this will be my first attempt and going on-line.

4. Comment by Tony D'Alessandro — September 1, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

   You’re right on the money again Clayton.

   I have an online personal training & coaching company and have been anxiously waiting for September 2nd to roll around (don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t wishing the summer away). 

   We see such a leap in members in September & January, (especially January being in the weight loss & fitness industry) because of the time and people wanting to get ‘accountable’.

   Remember Tiger Woods’ game even suffered back when he fired his coach and picked up again when he hired a new one!

   Back to the grill,
   Tony
   http://www.AmeriProFitness.com

5. Comment by David — September 1, 2008 @ 11:02 pm

   I make my New Years resolutions in May — and it’s the same one every year … "stop procrastinating."

   What I’ve been putting off is learning to write.  I’m going to do some article marketing and need a course recommendation that would apply.  Most of what I have seen here is direct response sales copy.  I’ll take that on later but now I need to know a few things about writing articles like — how to sell without selling.  I’m selling the reader on taking the next step — going to a website.

   Which of Clayton’s products would give insight to writing like this?

   Any advice would be appreciated.

   David

6. Comment by Jeremy Reeves — September 2, 2008 @ 9:08 am

   Wow, you’re right on the ball with this one!

   Summer is usually the season where people "want" to look the best, but yet with all the parties and everything - it always turns out the complete opposite.

   I completely agree with how much we’ve worked too. It’s time to buckle down and get to business!

   Jeremy Reeves
   http://www.GetClientsIn20.com

7. Comment by Caleb Osborne — September 2, 2008 @ 12:05 pm

   Ahhh,

   The hangover prayer. Yep. That sounds accurate

   Later
   Caleb

8. Comment by Shelagh Jones — September 2, 2008 @ 12:22 pm

   Actually, my experience in sales, network marketing and weight loss is that September "starters" are even better than January ones.

   They are the ones who probably started in January with a goal to be achieved by the end of the year.

   After the summer break, they are way off target, and have two choices.

   To abandon the goal, or to start with renewed vigour.

   The latter are the ones who are looking for real support to accomplish in 4 months what they planned to do in 12, and who will really appreciate excellent material.

9. Comment by Chuck — September 2, 2008 @ 3:37 pm

   The best way I know to keep to your resolutions is to tell everyone you know.  Whatever you resolve to accomplish, make sure your family and friends know about it.

   Keep your list to yourself and if things go awry well…    But make your intentions known to everyone around and suddenly failure is not an option.  You’ve absolutely got to get the job done. 

   Works for me.  thanks for all the great info Clayton…

   Cheers,

   Chuck

10. Comment by Roshawn — September 2, 2008 @ 11:11 pm

    Yep, I’m a procrastinator as well.  After reading this post, I think I’m gonna try and step it up a bit.

    By January 2, 2009, I would like to have finished my novel (been working on it for three years now) and have it ready for editing.  To get it done, I think I’ll try self-hypnosis in addition to finding someone to keep me on track.

    Thanks for the inspiration. 

11. Comment by Cathy Sutter — September 5, 2008 @ 4:26 pm

    Clayton,
    This has nothing to do about copywriting but plenty to do with procrastination…

    Thanks for the heads-up about Weight Watchers.  That’s exactly what I was thinking about doing, and then, voilla…you write about it.  Really tired of these crazy fad diets … Eat five of our meals, one of your own.  Lose 20 pounds or more per month. 

    Yeah, it worked for me before, but since I don’t smoke anymore (there’s a reason I don’t say I "quit"-some day maybe I’ll explain), no such luck.  Plus it really is quite restrictive.  Can’t go out to eat (not really) or stuff like that.  If you’re going on a trip, can’t do it then.  Yadda yadda yadda…and so on…

    So I am making the call to Weight Watchers.  But don’t know if I should wait until after my trip to Atlanta.  Darn, there I go again.
    

12. Comment by Dr. Michael Beck | Chiropractic Marketing — September 8, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

    Great post. I love it when Clayton shows us what’s going on inside that head of his.