The Simple Secret That Turns Good Copy Into GREAT Copy
(… And Great Copy Into A WINDFALL
For Copywriters And Our Clients)
"There are certain prime human emotions with which the thoughts of all of us are occupied a goodly part of the time. Tune in on them, and you have your reader's attention. Tie it up to the thing you have to offer, and you are sure of his interest."
– Robert Collier
The Robert Collier Letter Book
Dear Business-Builder,
In the 35-plus years since I created my first little piece of direct response sales copy, I've written considerably more than a thousand direct response ads, television spots and mail pieces.
Because nearly all of them were direct response promotions, each produced an easily measurable and almost immediate result. And over the years, as I studied those results, my approach to strategizing and creating sales promotions began to evolve.
Today, my work process is very different than it was in those early years. My first thought is no longer about the product benefits or even the product's USP. Nor do I begin each project by thinking about all the rational "reasons why" my prospect should buy.
Please don't get me wrong: It's not that I've discarded any of these techniques. They still have prominent places in every promotion I create. But something else has risen to the top of my "to-do" list when creating a promotion – and that change has produced the closest thing to sales miracles I have ever witnessed.
Dinosaurs still roamed the earth when I started my writing career. Back in the early 1970s, there were no computerized mailing lists, no toll-free order hotlines, no affordable fax machines, no FedEx or other overnight delivery services – and no personal mentors or coaches for aspiring copywriters.
Thankfully, I had The Giants to instruct me. I read, re-read and re-re-read the wonderful guides left for me by those who had come before – particularly, Claude Hopkins' Scientific Advertising, Rosser Reeves' Reality in Advertising and John Caples' Tested Advertising Methods.
Thanks to these Giants, I "knew" every ad was supposed to begin by identifying the benefits my product offered to prospects – the ways in which it made their lives easier, richer, and more rewarding.
I knew I should use the most powerful of these benefits to craft a compelling Unique Selling Proposition … establish it right up front … and turn it into a mantra throughout my copy.
And I understood the importance of fully developing every "Reason Why" my prospects should buy.
But there was a problem: My only assignments were from fund-raising organizations – groups that had no product to sell and offered little if any direct benefit to the donor!
Giving them money wouldn't relieve your rheumatism, banish bad breath, give you whiter teeth or make you attractive to the opposite sex. Nor would it help you avoid a disaster in the health or wealth departments, or even save you time in the laundry room.
In fact the only tangible, personal result of forking over a ten-buck contribution was that you'd wind up $10 poorer!
Sure – there were vague benefits in the selfless act of giving away money to a worthy cause – like feeling good about the good you were doing. But even at that early age, I suspected that writing an appeal letter or TV spot saying, "Give me money – it'll make you feel good" – wouldn't exactly set the world on fire.
Here again, fate stepped in for me …
What could possibly be BETTER
than leading with a tangible benefit?
From the age of 16, I had held down a part-time job in a printing plant as a folding machine operator. But this wasn't just any printing plant: Its forte' was printing and mailing appeal letters for a national fund-raising organization.
And since I worked alone on the night shift, I had plenty of time to read every one of those 8-page appeal letters.
They amazed me. At the time, I had no way of knowing the letters were being written by Richard Viguerie, Steve Winchell and Jerry Huntsinger – the "Powers, Kennedy and Reeves" of the direct mail fundraising industry. But I did know that they worked: They convinced people to donate tens of millions of dollars each year to my employer.
Poring over those appeal letters while my folding machine thunked away all night long was a real eye-opener. Whether by instinct or trial and error, these geniuses had figured out that to get a donor to write a check for a good cause, they needed to go beyond the intellect – beyond rational, "reason-why" copy and beyond a snappy USP.
In short, they needed to stimulate powerful emotions about the subject at hand – emotions that their prospects already had gurgling around inside them.
And to do that, they had to begin at a different place: Not with the product, as my reading of the Giants' books had led me to do, but with a clear understanding of the prospect's state of mind and how he already felt about the subject at hand!
Armed with this understanding, Viguerie, Winchell and Huntsinger began every appeal ("sales") letter with a headline and opening that instantly activated their prospect's emotions and made it impossible for him to look away: A shot to the gut … a kick to the groin or a right hook to the Adam's apple.
And once the copywriters had the prospect's resident emotions working for them, all they had to do was to keep those emotions on their side until the prospect had become as passionate about the cause as the writer was – and the check had been written and mailed.
And as I studied their letters, I realized something else: Viguerie, Winchell and Huntsinger were not stupid men. They were brilliant. They could have chosen the "easy" way – to get rich selling widgets that gave them dozens of tangible benefits to offer their prospects.
But these geniuses had intentionally chosen to specialize in the fund-raising field instead! Why?
Could it be that they knew something I didn't?
Could it be that they understood that the "curse" of having no benefits to sell, no "reason-why" copy to create and no USP to shout from the rooftops … could really be a blessing in disguise?
Could it be that they believed starting with the prospect instead of the product – setting out to first identify and then activate the strongest emotions the prospect already has – might be a better way to go?
And if so, I asked myself, "What if you could do both at the same time?"
Instead of beginning with the product and merely trusting the prospect to respond positively to its benefits …
What if I began by thinking about the prospect and how he must feel about the subject at hand – and then carefully crafted every part of my sales message to get those resident emotions working for me?
What if I began by selecting themes that connected most powerfully with those emotions? What if I added a kind of "emotional overlay" to every headline, every opening, every credibility device, every product benefit, every offer and every call to action?
Wouldn't the response be substantially better?
"Hmmmm …!"
These angels on my shoulders
put millions in my pocket
A decade after I left that printing plant, the 30-something version of myself sat down at a typewriter in a musty basement bedroom in Minneapolis …
My mission: To write a promotion that would sell rare Morgan silver dollars to subscribers of The Money Advocate investment newsletter.
The Money Advocate was published by a coin company; Security Coin & Bullion. And until I came along, they were doing just fine, using rational, left-brain, reason-why, benefit-oriented copy and a pretty good USP to sell about $360,000-worth of rare coins per month.
So there I sat, staring at a blank page, wondering how to begin. As was their custom by this time, the ghosts of Kennedy, Hopkins and the rest of the classic advertising choir were perched on my left shoulder – as close as they could get to the left side of my brain – chanting, "benefit … Benefit … BENEFIT!"
They wanted me to begin logically – by headlining and then focusing on the benefits of investing in rare coins.
Meanwhile, on my right shoulder, Viguerie, Winchell and Huntsinger were doing their dead-level best to out shout them, telling the right side of the brain to begin with the feelings my prospect most likely felt relative to my product: Lead with "emotion … Emotion … EMOTION!" they chanted.
So I sat there, turning that old Morgan Silver dollar over and over in my hand. What is it, really," I asked. Where did it come from? Where has it been? What does it symbolize?
Suddenly, I was reminded of the movie "Somewhere In Time" – in which Christopher Reeve was magically transported through time after seeing the date on a coin. I thought …
"This isn't a coin, it's a TIME MACHINE!"
"If these coins could talk …" I wrote, "what wonderful stories would they tell?"
"They would speak of a time gone by. Of the hardy prospectors who mined their silver. Of smoky saloons, honky-tonk pianos, raucous poker games and painted ladies.
"They would speak of freedom. Independence. Honor. The Code of the West.
"The Morgan silver dollar was there with Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday at the gunfight in the O.K. Corral. And it was there on the poker table when Wild Bill Hickok drew his "dead man's hand" and succumbed to an assassin's bullet.
"They only look like beautiful and potentially profitable 'rare coin' investments. And while they are, they are also more: Each is touchstone with our colorful, uniquely all-American history that you can hold in the palm of your hand."
Then, just to keep my left-shouldered, left-brained "benefit" angels quiet (and to give my prospects' spouses a plausible reason why their significant others had succumbed), I included plenty of "reasons why" buying those coins was the smartest thing they could do. After all – they were great investments!
That copy, a two-page flyer, mailed on January 1. Thirty days later, it had brought in $3.6 million in sales – TEN TIMES MORE than my client's purely rational, logic-based, greed-driven approach had ever generated in a single month.
And that was just the beginning. Within one year, my new approach had my client selling $16 million-worth of rare coins each month, making him the single largest rare coin dealer in America – by far.
Flash forward ten more years …
The 40-something version of myself sat down at his computer on the top floor of my four-story beach house on the Gulf of Mexico …
I had just completed my second promotion for Health & Healing. The first had been gangbusters, generating eight times the response of any health package Phillips had ever mailed.
Now, it was time to write my headline (yes, I do it backwards) – a way to "grab prospects by the eyeballs" and compel them to open and read my sales copy.
Just to humor the benefit boys, I tapped out the word, "CURES." After all – that was what my copy was packed with and promised more of.
My left-brain angels – Kennedy et. al. – beamed triumphantly.
But what kind of cures were these? Which strong emotion do these kinds of drug-free, surgery-free remedies trigger in my prospects?
"Well," I thought, "The medical industry doesn't want us to know about these alternatives, and even tries to silence people who recommend them.
"So they're … let's see … 'prohibited?' No … 'banned?' No … 'censored?' Not quite … 'forbidden?' No … wait a minute…
YES! That's it! That's my headline! FORBIDDEN CURES!"
I loved the word "forbidden." It felt like a mischievous child trying something "naughty" for the first time. It also made me feel resentment towards the self-appointed, supposedly superior, paternalistic establishment that believes it's a better judge of what's right for me than I do. It made me feel bound and determined to not just break, but shatter their stupid prohibitions!
And of course, the angels on my right shoulder – the "emotion" boys – loved it, too.
When it mailed, the package beat my control so handily that Phillips' mail quantities reached six million pieces in each 60-day mail cycle. The royalties were so good, I took the rest of the year off and played on the beach.
From genius to dunce
in the wink of an eye
Adding the right shoulder/right brain/ emotionally driven copy techniques practiced by the great fund-raising copywriters …
… to the more left shoulder/left brain benefit/reason-why/USP approach to copy espoused by the world's greatest advertising copywriters …
… was quite simply, the single greatest breakthrough of my career.
It was making me richer and more in-demand as a copywriter. And, being young and cocky, I was absolutely convinced that, like Kennedy, Hopkins, Reeves and the rest, I had something new … something better than anyone had ever thought of before.
But I traded my newfound "genius" status for a dunce hat the minute I began re-examining – and really studied – the ads that Kennedy, Lasker, Hopkins and the other Giants had created during their lifetimes.
These guys may not have said much in their books about the importance of connecting with prospects' resident emotions – but they sure did it an awful lot!
In fact, whether by intent, instinct, or as the natural byproduct of their obsession with selling benefits, they did it all the time!
And as I read their words with new eyes, I even found this, from ad legend David Ogilvy:
"Researchers have not yet found a way to quantify the effectiveness of emotion, but I have come to believe that commercials with a large content of nostalgia, charm, and even sentimentality can be enormously effective."
I felt like a drooling moron. It had been right there in front of me all along – but I had been too obsessed with the nuts and bolts of meticulously identifying product benefits, writing "reason-why" copy and shouting my USP to even notice!
Had I simply emulated what the Giants did – instead of just studying what they said – I would have been miles ahead of the game!
Not only hadn't I invented the technique of identifying and then mobilizing my prospects' emotions to create greater attention, readership and response …
… It had taken me years to figure out what the Giants had been trying to tell me all along!
Maybe I would have caught on sooner, if, early on, someone had shaken me by the shoulders, slapped me a couple of times and said …
"People act on their emotions far more often than they do on their intellect alone.
"People buy for emotional reasons far more often than for merely rational ones.
"If you want people to act on your copy and buy your product, first determine how your prospect is likely feeling right now.
"Then, use your benefits as bridges to activate the emotions that will compel him to buy!"
Couldn't have said it better myself!
That's when my work process changed forever.
Put Dominant Emotion Marketing
To Work for You NOW!
Instead of beginning like I once had and as many copywriters still do – by identifying product benefits – wouldn't it make more sense to put the prospect and his most compelling emotions FIRST?
Wouldn't it be better, for example, to …
- Begin by figuring out what the prospect's resident emotions are regarding the things the product addresses …
- Figure out which of those resident emotions are the strongest, most compelling, most "dominant" in his or her life …
- Identify the benefits my product offers that will most effectively enhance his strongest positive emotions and/or resolve his negative ones …
- Address those benefits in ways that keep the prospect's most dominant emotions working with me – and never against me …
- And as you review and edit your sales copy, wouldn't it make sense to keep making this kind of emotional connection at every opportunity?
Hope this helps!
Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,
Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE
Looking for resources related to this article? Try some of these.
Looking for more of Clayton's articles? Check these out.
Looking for past issues of The Total Package? Click here for our archives.
33 Comments »
Join the Discussion!
Let us know what you think. Or ask us anything. Or offer your own sage advice.
The only rule: RESPECT THIS HOUSE! Postings that contain abusive language and/or personal attacks will be cheerfully VAPORIZED. One cross word and – POOF! – your well-thought-out post will be gone in a puff of smoke.
– Clayton
Comment by Kory — January 25, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Not sure, but this article may be the single most important piece of copywriting instruction ever written.
Thanks Clayton.
Kory
Comment by Devasish Gupta — August 21, 2008 @ 11:09 am
I’ve bookmarked this article and I’m going to devour each and evry word of it.
Comment by Matt Warren — August 21, 2008 @ 11:10 am
Absolute GOLD. I’m going to have to go back and re-evaluate the way I write copy because of this article.
Thanks Clayton
Comment by Sid — August 21, 2008 @ 11:34 am
I agree with Kory. I’ve read this message before, but it’s a great reminder of what’s most important in our copy. Thanks, Clayton. I just plugged this into an online promo I’ve been working on.
Sid
Comment by Abdul Rahman — August 21, 2008 @ 11:36 am
…
Pure brilliance.
…
Still shaken with the realization.
Good job Clayton.
Comment by Leon — August 21, 2008 @ 11:36 am
What a vivid description of your breakthrough - copy gurus on your left shoulder and right shoulders! Really brings the point home.But let me state something that may be heresy in this direct response arena. Brand advertising has been mining emotions for years. You think Kodak (during its heyday) was built on describing logical reasons to buy? No way. Kodak Moment commercials - presented some of the most stirring emotional vignettes.So in one sense you might say it’s about incorporating some of brand advertising’s emotional technqiues into direct response (did I say that!)
Comment by Paul Kenned — August 21, 2008 @ 11:54 am
Yep, you’re right on the button. Just getting out of bed in the morning is emotional. I’m not a direct mail copywriter but what you say makes sense. It’s set me thinking a bit - for that, thanks!
Comment by Ken Jones — August 21, 2008 @ 12:23 pm
The simplicity of the concept is what makes it so powerful. I believe this could also be used to keep readers attached to emails/newsletters/ezines. Thank you (and my apologies for not thanking you for every great piece you send our way on a regular basis.)
Comment by John Deck — August 21, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
Wow, I have read this twice now, and printed off a copy for another read. Anytime Clayton posts, it is always one of my reads of the day. From my BoB writing where all management wants to see is features, features and more features. Where even benefits can get edited out, I know I do not begin to use emotions enough in my writing. Thanks Clayton, another great post.
John
http://www.DirectMarketResults.com
Comment by Joe — August 21, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
Even though this topic is covered in the Total Package, and I thought I "got it", it wasn’t until I read this article that it sunk in.
Comment by Derek Heck — August 21, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
Clayton.
I am simply just going to say thank you for being so selfless when sharing the tips and tricks that you have with us.
You are an inspiration to me not just in a copywriting but in being a mentor to help others develop as teachers and educators while not expecting anything in return.
Cheers,
Derek
http://mynaturalability.com
Comment by John Osborn — August 21, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
A Hallmark of a post. Thank you Clayton, your writing is more than any could ever hope for in the learning curve of copywriting.
Trackback by AcquireTheSkills.com — August 21, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
Become a Six Figure Copywriter Instantly-Well…Maybe…
I just read a post from Clayton Makepeace that I believe, is the secret to becoming a better copywriter. You can find the link here at Copywriting Techniques: Emotional Copy for Million Dollar Copywriters.
Now what does that have to do with us, networ…
Comment by Neil Goodchild — August 21, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Thanks Mr. Makepeace. Now THAT’S advice I am going to take on board right now as I finally distill my website and brochure copy for my new startup.
People arriving on a holiday isle, eager to visit resident whales and dolphins, must be positively overflowing with emotion and anticipation, perhaps about to live their lifelong dream.
I’ll try and get my head around translating your methodology to my circumstances and you can do the copy for me when I’ve a fleet of ten (twenty) boats…
Thanks again
Neil.
Comment by James... — August 21, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Clayton,
This article is a gold mine! It’s resonates within me at my core. I will hang this article next to my desk along with another article you wrote "Dead puppies for sale" Thank you for writing.
James…
Comment by Brian Duvall — August 21, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
Brilliant!
I am a fund raiser for a non-profit food bank where I have to raise $14 million over the next four years… $850,000 by Dec. 31st.
I’m trying to figure out how to apply this idea to our cause. I’ll make a request… "Clayton, can you tell us how to discover our prospects’ dominant emotion so we can address it in our copy?"
I do more face-to-face interaction but the techniques still apply. I’m studying the desktop Copy Coach program (awesome, thanks) to get ideas for improving our approach.
Keep up the great mentoring.
Sincerely,
Brian D
Comment by thomas — August 21, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
I have those guys on my shoulders talking to me too -but its not about sales copy….
Comment by Rammel Ramli — August 21, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
This one of the best article I have read so far. I have learn something new today. Combine 2 important factors, Emotion & reason-why.
Thanks Clayton.
Comment by Shel Horowitz — August 21, 2008 @ 8:45 pm
Great post, Clayton. I’ve been advocating combining emotion and rational appeals for years. Just used your post as a jumping off point to talk about how to do this even in a humble press release: http://principledprofit.com/good-business-blog/makepeace-emotion-rational-sale/2008/08/22/
Comment by Susan Connors — August 21, 2008 @ 11:40 pm
Hello
Emotions..we as humans thrive on them! Clayton thank you for proven and sensible common sense approach to copywriting. This approach can be used in every business on the planet..from the concept of an idea, through research and development, finally sales.
"Whats in it for me?" is one of the first thoughts that go through our minds when we want to purchase something. From a advertisement or catalog it doesn’t matter.
I want to say a huge thank you for being a mentor to so many and myself. Keep up the great work and being so approachable. You put yourself into the mindset of your client.
I used to complain about my shoes until I met someone who had no feet.
Seeing mutliple perspectives is a huge gift.
A bit of trivia. In the Ultimate Desktop Copy Coach, I have seen some examples of your work, I saw in normal life, and thought the advert was brilliant. Now I know why! Without knowing you or the copywriting industry, the dominant emotion contact, well thought out copy, were yours. Now that is a Huge thing for me to realize!
Wishing everyone continued happiness, good health and prosperity.
Sue in Aus
Comment by Kammy Thurman — August 21, 2008 @ 11:46 pm
You’ve got ESP Clayton! I was just going to rifle through your site to find the articles you’d done on writing to dominant emotions because I’ve been struggling w/a headline and…Poof!…it appears in my inbox. Five minutes after reading your message I had the headline I wanted.
Thanks!
Kammy
Comment by Roshawn — August 22, 2008 @ 1:19 am
What a gem of a post! Made my day!
Comment by Andrew & Denise Chambers — August 22, 2008 @ 6:44 am
Dominant emotions…..Some people are like robots and they really are not in touch with their emotions period.
Men’s Dominant Emotions
It is often said of MEN… that they are full sensitive stimulating emotions that make them more drawn to aggression, logic and sex with a bit of romance through in for good measure and that is true of the dominant male emotional psyche.
Women’s Dominant Emotions
And it is often said of WOMEN that they are full of all kinds of very sensitive stimulating emotions that make them more drawn to flowers, romance, babies, crying, gentleness, nesting and that list goes on and on which is true of the dominant female emotional psyche… "Ladies I love it too"..!
But actually both sexes are very capable of having a full on emotional response on all levels about all things emotional.
You threaten to harm a child in the care of it’s MOTHER and you will see an aggressive stimulated dominant emotion that would put the fear of God into any man period…!
You watch a MAN that has fallen in love..He could be the toughest kid on the block, but you will see that love stimulated dominant emotion make him like a lovesick puppy in the hands of cupid’s powerful spell.
He will even enjoy smelling the roses and want to pick them for his love one. Suddenly everything he though was all girly is now his friend and ally.!!
We just need to know these basic facts about our natures and what stimulates us on an emotional level and we will crack the code to long term success in all things emotional.
Hey it’s logical isn’t it…? lol.
Thanks Clayton
Have fun
Andrew Chambers
Watch The Rat Race Movie
Comment by Marc — August 23, 2008 @ 3:07 am
Please tell me there is a part #2 to this post. I truly did not want this to end.
I hate to follow the masses, but, just like everyone else you blow me away. I’m left speechless after reading a post from you.
Nothing fascinates me more than talent.
I have never heard your voice-ever. But, I can almost hear you talking over my shoulder when I read this stuff.
It’s almost eerie!
Wow
Comment by Devasish — August 23, 2008 @ 8:55 am
Please Do a teleseminar based on the topic of this article.
We want to hear more about it.
Comment by Bob Oni — August 23, 2008 @ 5:29 pm
Hi Clayton,
You’ve done it again. Your writing is interesting, unique, powerful and yet simple enough to inspire your audience. Thank God for your ability to craft words and blend them with your great writing experience to create powerful messages.
You’ve done it beautifully in The total package, delivering gem after gem of pure writing magic to those of us lucky enough to read it.
You’re definitely leaving a legacy…one that future copywriters will marvel at, just as we marvel at it today.
Comment by Coy — August 25, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
I sold real estate for a few years, and I sold more homes based on things like, the kid play yard, how the home was decorated (victorian sells!), whether or not the dog run stayed. All emotional issues. I always said I could sell a house if they put a cute playhouse in the backyard, and it didn’t matter what the inside looked like. People walk in a house "why not to buy" rather than why I want this house. Any special kid thing sold it in days rather than weeks. Emotions are key.
Comment by lawton chiles — August 25, 2008 @ 10:06 pm
My man! You have done it again. Oh, if I could only write like you…:""This isn’t a coin, it’s a TIME MACHINE!"
Comment by Michael Kocis — August 26, 2008 @ 8:55 am
Like A Fly On The Wall Of A Girls Locker Room
Listening to Clayton write is exactly like realizing, whatever I thought I knew, I’m about to discover the real TRUTH.
Comment by Carl — August 26, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
Great article. However, there is a book that I am searching for which is now out of print called "The Magical Power Of Emotional Appeals" which can help further. Can’t even find a 2nd hand copy. If anyone knows where I can get it from, please give me a shout. It’s supposed to be a masterpiece. And I wonder if every great copywriter (including Clayton) has read it since it was first published in the ’60s?
Comment by Tuck Mixon — August 27, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
Clayton-
Great post. We’ve all heard that people buy with emotion and justify with logic. Your stories of 8 to 10 times better response demonstrate that stimulating strong emotions makes people take action.
How many things do you know you should do? After all, they’re logical. But you don’t do it. Look at all the fat, unhealthy people in the world. They are not happy about it, and they know they should change some things, but they don’t. Logic is not enough to get people to take action. It’s part of the human condition. We are not Vulcans.
From now on, I’m going to identify and appeal to emotions when I want someone to do something. And I’ll give them the reasons why it makes sense too.
After all, it’s logical to use emotion when we want to persuade.
Comment by lucy l sanford — August 28, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
Thank you for bringing your Angel Sparkle to my quest for marketing the spiritual books I have written. Your information is exactly what I need to see these books with a clear vision and to make them available to others to get God-in-their- gut and keep ascending in joy.
Lucy Sanford
Comment by Jack Settles — August 28, 2008 @ 4:58 pm
I’m half way through the accelerated program for six-figure copywriting and working my way through the big assignment.
This will put me over the top. Thanks, Jack.