Clayton Makepeace presents: The Total Package. Business-building secrets for growth-obsessed companies.

September 02, 2010

Posted by: Paul Maxey
March 12, 2010
Issue #883

How to Stash a Master Copywriter
in Your Hip Pocket
… Plus a Special Announcement!

  • What’s the fastest way to build a million-dollar promotion from scratch, regardless of your experience?
  • How can you dramatically enhance the quality of every promotion you create?
  • What’s the easiest way to crank out more copy, more quickly and accelerate your income?
  • How can you level the playing field and write kick-butt copy practically from day one?
  • What’s the most effective tool for beating the blank page?

Dear Business-Builder,

It’s your swipe file, of course.

Short of keeping Clayton in your hip pocket (effective perhaps, but I don’t think Wendy would approve) or on speed dial, it’s the smart copywriter’s way to riches.

Every professional copywriter keeps a swipe file – a collection of proven direct response promotions – and for good reason. Building a swipe file is easily one of the most powerful things you can do to advance your career as a copywriter.

A good swipe file can help you crank out powerful and compelling copy in less time than it takes most copywriter’s to write their first sentence …

World-class copywriter’s use them to scrutinize what’s working and what’s not, to keep their skills razor sharp and to stay at the top of their game …

And it’s quite possibly the fastest and most effective way for a newbie to begin writing kick-butt copy practically from day one!

So we put our heads together and asked the question: How can we help you, dear reader, to make use of this formidable tool? Not only to help you perfect your powers of persuasion, but to help you develop an acute sense of what powerful copy really is?   

Introducing the Swipe of the Week!

You know how we here at The Total Package love to shower you with powerful, sales-exploding secrets you can use to get bigger winners, more often. And you also know how we love to give you free stuff.

Well, today we’re going to live up to that reputation in spades!

Beginning with this issue, we’re introducing our brand-new Swipe of the Week. Each Friday, we’re going to pull a promotion from the sacred archives of our own swipe files and post it online in all its full-color glory.

So you can download it … add it to your own, personal swipe file … and build a formidable powerhouse of direct response promotions that show both what to do and what not to do.

Plus, many of you are geniuses in your own right. (After all, you read The Total Package J). So we figured why not let you critique them and show off your own stroke of creative brilliance!

So each week, we’re going to ask you to leave your comments and strike up a dialogue with us and your fellow readers.

Who knows? Maybe you can even teach us a thing or two!

That said, let’s start off with a bangwith a health promotion that proves you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time you sit down at the drawing board …

A new twist on an old classic?

Many copywriter’s have a deep-seated belief that you have to be 100% creative, 100% of the time, when you sit down to write a new promo.

As you’re about to see, that’s just not the case.

I can almost bet the headline for this weeks swipe (you can download it here now) is a play off an old classic written more than 50 years ago: “How a Bald-Headed Barber Saved My Hair.”

Curiosity and intrigue heads tease the benefit or begin the conversation by telling a fascinating story. They immediately engage the prospect by getting their natural curiosity working for you.

In this case, the headline “How My Enlarged Prostate Saved Me from Going Bald!” forces you to keep reading by using an interesting juxtaposition of words that leave you wanting to know the answer!

These are immutable principles that draw their power and influence from the predictably of human nature, and have stood the test of time. Why not learn them and apply them to your copy today?

Another reason I find this particular promotion interesting is it leaves me wondering: Was this a clear-cut winner? Or a loser?

There are many elements in this promotion that make it very clear to me this was written by a seasoned pro.

On the other hand, there are at least two major elements I feel could’ve been handled differently – within the first couple of pages – to strengthen it’s credibility.

So what do you think?

First, click here now to download your free, full-color copy of this week’s Swipe of the Week. Then, be sure to leave your comments below so we can all benefit from your creative brilliance!

Also be sure to let us know what kind of swipes you would like to see us cover each week. Financial or health? Online or offline? Landing pages or component direct mail packages?

Most importantly: Never forget that an effective swipe file is the next best thing to keeping a master copywriter like Clayton on speed dial, and having them available at your every beck-and-call.

And with the fierce competition these days, doesn’t it just make sense to use every advantage available to you?

Yours for kick-butt profits!


Paul Maxey
Makepeace “Copy Cub”
THE TOTAL PACKAGE

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15 Comments »

  1. Paul,

    The idea of a weekly swipe file sample is excellent! This weeks posting is of “text book” quality… But why limit it to only one promotion weekly… so many phenomenal files exist… especially from an organization like yours.

    How about a health promotion and a financial promotion issued at the same time… and what about some subscription promotions thrown in for good measure.

    Having the opportunity to review solid promotions is a “must” for the novice as well as the seasoned pro. We never stop learning in this business. How about you put the initial idea on steroids and give us all more… faster.

    Tell me (all of us)… how would you modify this promotion for use on the web? Keep ‘em comin…

    Mel

  2. Absolutely awesome… I look forward to next Friday.

    I can see this as the perfect report you drive the customer too after the live event in your Online Profit Multiplier campaign.

  3. Awesome - excellent addition guys.

    I’d love to see more for online landing pages, specifically. I’m in the midst of a split testing frenzy on my own right now ;)

  4. Hi Paul,

    Welcome to the gang.

    Swipe files! Wonderful idea and a powerful addition to the already super-potent Total Package family.

    I’d like to see a collection of online landing pages. I’m in the process of re-creating landing pages for several of my clients and this would be perfect for keeping score on what does and doesn’t work.

    Thanks again.

    Rick

  5. Awsome, build my swipe file and have expert critics. Personally I am interested in online, landing page, financial copy. That is not to totally ignore the rest, this is just my primary focus

  6. Hi Paul,

    Thanks for posting this Paul.

    What I liked about it was the curiosity factor in the headline.

    As Gary Bencivenga says curiosity tied to a benefit is a knock out combo.

    Maybe I am missing though, because I didnt quite get why the writer chose that headline? It seems a bit off centre from the copy which is more about prostrate problems- rather than enlargened prostates stopping baldness.

    I suppose if you have any prostate issues, you will read it anyway so it does it’s job. What could have made it stronger is putting a stronger proof element in the headline:

    Doctors from_____speak out about a new clinically proven cure’ type thing. It does that have ‘gauranteed to work or it’s free’ which is quite strong though.

    For the future, I would love to see split tests of squeeze pages and emails etc. and even sales videos because that’s where to so much of the action is now days.

    Good luck with being a copy cub with Clayton - you are in great hands! :)

    I used his O.P.M formula - as best I could - and we are nearly up to 1/2 a mill. in sales for a real estate program!

    Thanks,

    John

  7. Hi Paul,
    An AWESOME and welcome addition to an already top-notch site! You guys are the best Thank you! :-)

  8. I would like to see a series that goes from the initial ad, all the way to the actual sales page. I love the idea of swipe file examples. Especially, with your critiques, and even your examples. Sometimes we have a half an idea of what/how to do it, but need concrete examples.
    I keep text files that hold various columns on Internet marketing, so that I can go back and study over again later. I also tweet the columns that I think have real value, surprisingly, I ‘m slowly picking up followers on twitter, from pointing out good material. I;ve no idea how much is retweeted, but I hope a lot. Most of what you, and your guest writers, talk about is Old Hat to you, but new to many of us.
    I read a lot of books about Marketing, and used to be on the I-ad list, where I learned a lot. So, I sort of knew some of this stuff. I still learn, and see new ways to apply what I did know. I still dare to disagree sometimes, in believing that times are changing.
    I believe that people have been exposed to so much hype, and been misled by it that they now see through it. Some will still fall for it, but in smaller numbers. What will get through, is going to be honesty. Good presentation of facts, without making benefits look like the Second Coming. Of course, Hype will eventually sneak back in, as people get used to truth, but probably not for at least a generation.

  9. Paul,

    Did Clayton write this copy? And, how long has it been a control?

    I am primarily interested in seeing supplement, health newsletter subscription & health book controls. Both soft and hard offers. Preferably new customer acquisition copy in direct mail format.

    In addition to Clayton’s controls, it would be cool if you can showcase controls from other A-level writers like: Bencivenga, Deutsch, Arthur Johnson, Bill Bonner, etc.

    Thanks :-)

    Tony

  10. Hi Everyone:

    Thanks for the great comments!

    Mel:

    If you have a catalog-type web site, you can do as Health Resources did in this case and create a page on your site that merely gives the highlights of the product, as they did here …

    http://www.healthresources.net/itemdy00.asp?t1=Pros-Food

    However, these same companies quite frequently convert their entire direct mail package to an online sales letter (landing page) “as is” with only minor changes to the formatting and copy – such as adding links throughout that go to an online order form or shopping cart.

    Scott:

    If you’re not already signed up for Weiss Research’s “Money and Markets” newsletter, you should do so by going to http://www.moneyandmarkets.com. You’ll be able to very quickly build a large swipe file of online financial copy. Much of which is written by Clayton himself.

    You can also sign up for Uncommon Wisdom at http://www.uncommonwisdomdaily.com, which is also from Weiss Research.

    John:

    Great points. The headline is definitely not the central idea of the package.

    However, the only purpose of a headline is to seize the prospect’s attention and get him to read the next sentence in your package. And this headline does that well by pulling the prospect into the package with intrigue and curiosity.

    Notice also that they did come back and explain the idea in the headline in the sidebar on page 29 (otherwise, the headline would have simply been a bait-and-switch to get them to read the package, which is a serious no-no). And by the time the prospect has flipped through 28 pages to find the answer, the marketer has had dozens of opportunities to build the prospect’s interest and desire in the product by showering them with a variety of diverse benefits.

    Congratulations on your success with the OPM process … keep us posted!

    Walter:

    Your explanation of hype sounds a lot like what Gene Schwartz discusses in his book “Breakthrough Advertising.” As markets mature, marketers constantly have to dream up stronger and stronger claims to outbid other marketers. Eventually, the market just gets saturated with hype and promotions start to look the same.

    That’s when it helps to reveal the mechanism your product uses to deliver the benefits you promise. Rather than focusing on the promised benefit, you focus on the way in which your product helps them achieve that benefit. Suddenly, your promotions become much more believable than the rest of the “me-to” promotions everyone else is running.

    Tony:

    This copy was not written by Clayton. In fact, we don’t know who wrote it or whether it even became a control.

    Our intention with the Swipe of the Week is to showcase a diverse selection of “in the mail” promotions that display a wide variety of copywriting techniques and writing styles. So, while we’ll certainly be posting promotions written by A-level copywriter’s, there are also many other good copywriter’s that are writing winning packages in various fields.

    Keep in mind also: You can learn just as much by studying weak promotions as you can by studying A-level ones. It’s extremely beneficial for any copywriter or marketer to study both!

    Paul

  11. Thank you very much for sharing this promotion with us. I agree with the other suggestions sent in by your appreciative readers, and would like to add one more– a successful letter from a small non-profit organization.
    Thank you.

  12. Great service much appreciated.

    Rather than restricting to medical and finance I’d like to see good examples of promoting consultancy services and a range of products - primarily offline. Surely not everyone works on medical and finance.

  13. What an excellent Paul, I am glad I stopped by and read this now :-)

  14. I, for one, do not see the point of analyzing copy without knowing the results of the copy.

    Yes, you can learn from analyzing bad copy as well as good — however, it’s vital to know the difference!

    Additionally, I would prefer to see known successful promotions. I would rather know what works (and what is working now) than analyzing weak copy.

    To paraphrase Tolstoy:

    Successful promotions are all alike; every unsuccessful promotion is unsuccessful in its own way.

    Why waste time deciding how to resuscitate moribund promotions when it’s far more profitable to analyze why “what works” works?

  15. This site just gets better all the time. This is what I call giving value.

    I’m going to copy you guys. :-)

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– Clayton

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